(Closed) send thank you card if they didn’t send a gift?

posted 12 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
38 posts
  • Wedding: April 2011

I would write a card.  They always say you attract more flies with honey than with vinegar, and guests do – in theory – have a year to send a gift to the newlyweds.  Regardless, these people took the time to come and celebrate with you, and I assume for that you are thankful.  I would just say something like "Thank you so much for sharing in our celebration, it was wonderful to have you present as Mr. Kbok and I began our new lives together.  We appreciate you coming!"  If it’s a family member, you can reference the next time you hope to see them (a holiday or something) and leave it at that. 

 Just my .02!

Post # 4
177 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

I agree with caulner.  You should definitely write a note thanking them for coming.

I had a destination wedding and I know how expensive it was for my guests to attend.  Some did not give gifts, but knowing that they put so much effort into getting their in the first place was gift enough, and I definitely wanted them to know how much their presence meant to me and how they made my wedding day even more special.

Post # 5
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2020

You should write them a note thanking them for coming to your wedding. They don’t have to give you a gift, though it is the norm. 

Post # 6
7 posts
  • Wedding: October 2008

"Thank you for being there on our special day.  We loved seeing you."  etc, etc

Post # 7
508 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Yep – definitely a card.  Mention that you enjoyed seeing them.  If they traveled, you can call that out – i.e. it meant so much to us that you flew out for our wedding.  It was lovely to see you and catch up, at least a little.  Yada yada yada.

Post # 9
14 posts

Question in addition to what kbok wrote…

What about guests who declined the wedding (due to work, emergency, whatever) Should you send a note saying "Sorry you couldn’t make it, here’s where the photos are ect…?"  I know there are a couple people who really would have liked to been there, but just couldn’t.  Trying to figure out if it’s worth the hassel?


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