(Closed) Send thank you’s before the wedding?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I would send thank you cards as soon as you receive the gift. That’s what I did for my shower (people mailed gifts to my house across the country from where my shower is hosted, some weeks before the shower), and everyone was appreciative to receive them & know my gift was received & acknowledged.

Post # 4
Member
2849 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’ve been sending out thank you cards as the gifts come in. I feel like that will help me keep on top of the thank you cards. I always have the motto that sooner is better when it comes to thanking people.

Post # 5
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee

@cushioney:  Definitely send them out.  a) you want guests to know that your gifts were received. b) it will mean you will have less to do afterwards c) sooner is ALWAYS better.

Post # 6
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I did. I ended up sending some people two – one for the shower gift (either in person or in the mail) and then if I got a wedding gift from them as well I sent a separate note.

Post # 7
Member
7902 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

I was raised to not open or use gifts until the event they were sent for, so no, I wouldn’t send them out until the event. You could have them ready to go to send out immediately after if you want. Some people like to confirm that a gift was received. To friends and such, I often sent a quick text or email saying we received something but would be opening it together after the wedding and sending a formal note then.

Post # 8
Member
1699 posts
Bumble bee

Opening wedding gifts as they arrive and sending the thank-you notes immediately is the traditional practice. Remember, a wedding isn’t like Christmas where the presents you are getting are little extras. Traditionally, wedding presents were the household affects necessary to set up a home — and the bride and groom had NOT already created a functioning household. The bride opened things as they came in, so that they could be moved into the new home and be waiting, functional and ready for use, when the new couple came home from their honeymoon.

And, of course, the thank-you notes were sent at once. The real Emily Post’s advice (not the modern Post Institute) was to strive to get your notes done before going to bed on the day that the gift arrives.

Post # 9
Member
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I’m not sure what the proper etiquitte is about opening gifts and sending notes, etc – but I’ve been sending Thank You’s as the gifts have come through.   I had wanted to send out photos with the thank you notes, but I’d rather let the person know that the gift was received.  If I am extra-ambitious after the wedding, I might still send another note with some photos from the event for them to have.  

Post # 10
Member
13014 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think you should send the thank you card as soon as you get the gift.  If you want to mail them to after the wedding, you could write/address/stamp them ahead of time and mail them out immediately after the wedding, or give them to your Maid/Matron of Honor to drop in the mail the next day. 

Post # 11
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

It is proper etiquette to send thank yous in a timely fashion after you receive gifts.  Any wedding gift received before the wedding should be promptly acknowledged with a personal note.  You may open the package and be sure that whatever it is arrived in working order (not broken) but hold off on using the gifts until after the wedding.

Post # 12
Member
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@futuremrsfitz18:  Good point, I got a few dishes that were broken during shipping so I had to go and exchange them.

Post # 13
Member
411 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I do hate this situation, because I’m planning on getting cute Thank-You cards with a picture of us from the wedding holding a “Thank You!” sign… so when people send gifts ahead of time, I have to thank them with an ugly generic card instead of the adorable ones I’m going to get later! Haha I find myself upset that they’re being thoughful enough to send gifts early. What a monster I’ve become.

The standard is to send the thank-you as soon as you get the gift, even if you’re not going to use it until after the wedding. I think the only exception is if you really know the person (and know they won’t be offended), you can just tell them you received the gift and they’d be getting an adorable card after the wedding. That’s what I did with FMIL’s gift, because I know she’ll definitely want to see the cards we end up getting!

Post # 14
Member
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

When you’re writing cards, you should include a personalized the thank you card to the gift and circumstances. 

For pre-event gifts, I always add something like “we’re so touched you’ll be joining us for our special day – we can’t wait to see you!”

 

The topic ‘Send thank you’s before the wedding?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors