Post # 1
I had a friend as my Maid/Matron of Honor and when she got engaged she asked me to be hers. Through my wedding she was quite horrible, rude and snarky, saying derogatory things about the day. I ended up quite upset about this and she couldnt see what she had done wrong, said I was no longer welcome in her wedding or her life.
As I’m no longer invited and we are no longer friends I’m unsure if I should send the couple a gift. They both were in our wedding party and contributed to our wishing well. Any advice would be greatly apreciated!
Post # 3
Being un-invited was your ex-friend’s way of letting you know how little you mean to her, so you should not feel any obligation to send a gift!
When she attended your wedding/contributed to wishing well, you had a different relationship. Now that she has terminated the friendship, leave it that way and get on with your marriage and life!
Post # 4
@Beesatts: I would send a gift, but it would just be as a way to get the last word…not because I’m an amazing saint. I’d want to come out on top.
Post # 5
I would most definitely NOT send anything. SHe ended the friendship, don’t waste your hard earned money on them!
Post # 6
- Wedding: September 2013 - The Gables at Chadds Ford
First of all, that friend is horrible. If you don’t want to buy her a gift, don’t do it. I do like the idea though, of sending her a gift just to make you look like the better person and hopefully she feels like crap.
Post # 7
H3ll no! No invite, no gift. They gave money but that’s more or less balanced by the fact that you provided a meal at your wedding.
Post # 8
If you want to be friends again, I say yes. If not, I say no. She likely won’t notice if you don’t since she uninvited you. For me, I’d say no.
Post # 9
Thanks all! I don’t think I want to be friends again, she really was very unkind and it was humiliating in front of my family and friends. I think I just feel odd about her contributing to her dress, and my bridal shower and then a wedding gift but now I’m not “paying her back” per se?
Post # 10
@Beesatts: HER choice! I had a best friend of 8 years who told me we were no longer going to be friends. huge falling out. I’ve heard through a mutual friend that she got engaged not long ago, I would NEVER consider sending her a gift! If you aren’t friends with someone per their choice, you are in no way obligated to “pay them back” for what they have done for you in the past. Though I agree with PP about if you want to make sure you are the bigger person =) lol
Post # 11
Yeah…..NO! She has put you through enough already. Unless you see your friendship mending (through an amazing apology) don’t waste your time, effort, or money on this one.
Post # 12
@Beesatts: i don’t think it’s necessary to send a gift. you are no longer invited. she is the one who doesn’t want you there, so definitely no.
Post # 13
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
Hell to the no. Too bad if she spent money on your wedding…since this isn’t someone you want in your life anymore, don’t give it anymore thought.
Post # 14
No way. IMO when you continue to engage that’s how things stay heated. I’d just let some time pass and if I wanted to reengage her I’d do it when weddings were no longer in the picture.
See, if I sent a gift I’d have all these crazy thoughts about it, did she get it, is she thinking I’m a good friend or crapping all over it, is she going to send a thank you, reading way too much into everything when really it’s just time to move on!
Post # 15
No, while I’m sure this ex-friend wouldn’t turn down free money or gifts, you are under no obligation to gift them. I sure as heck wouldn’t send a gift.
Post # 16
@Beesatts: I’d send a gift thanking them. Be the bigger person.