(Closed) Sending a thank you text after a first date?

posted 3 months ago in Relationships
Post # 2
2752 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I think it’s perfectly fine. Like you said maybe he sleeps in late on Sundays. Give it some more time. You’ve let him know you enjoyed your time and would enjoy seeing him again without being pushy. If he’s interested he will get back to you. If not then you will have an answer one way or another. 

Post # 3
1261 posts
Bumble bee

I think its good to do and I always sent a text after a date, especially if he asked me out to it, or if he paid. I think its nice and polite even if it leads nowhere. He might think its too early or too keen or whatever but if he does, screw him because lifes too short to play ‘how long should I wait to text’ or ‘hiding whether or not I like you’ games. Hopefully he will appreciate your honesty and straight forwardness (I know I would) and if hes interested you can set something up for this week. For now I think you did the right thing, just chill out (as much as possible) and wait for his response. 

Post # 4
172 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I would have let him make the first contact afterwards, tbh. Your text was very early on a Sunday, and you also asked him out again. Not to be all “Rules girl” or anything, bc mostly I think that shit is dumb, but men do like at least a little bit of a chase. Aloofness and not being too available, especially in the beginning, gives them something to work for. 

If they like you and want to see you again, they will ALWAYS get in touch.

Post # 5
846 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

lookingahead :  what absolute nonsense, you’re allowed to text men, the men who like the “chase” can  tend not to be the ones who aren’t worth being chased by.

not too much, least you’re being an adult.

Post # 6
524 posts
Busy bee

You did fine. If he’s scared off by a text message… ugh. I wouldn’t want to deal with that guy. Glad you had a good time, and I hope you hear from him soon!

Post # 7
28 posts

whoswho :  From an evolutionary and biological standpoint, this is certainly not “absolute nonsense”. 

I’m not a “Rules” girl, either, but I do believe that it’s best to just wait a little and let him come. Especially after a date, people often need a little time to process everything. I agree with lookingahead, if a man likes you, he will always get in touch. OP, just have a little patience, maybe he will reply later. If he doesn’t, delete his number and move on. 

Post # 8
755 posts
Busy bee

cookingguru :  I think it’s fine and all you can do is wait and see if he texts back.  LOL, I’ve texted guys thank you after the first date as soon as I’ve got home.

I wouldn’t send a second text after this one unless he texts you back.  You don’t want to sound too desperate.

Post # 9
918 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Having met my husband online and going through lots of failed dates before that, if he is interested and it’s meant to be he will be delighted to have heard from you this morning. Probably don’t repeatedly bombard him with texts until you next hear from him, but I think whhat you sent is lovely. If he’s put off by that, he probably isn’t the right fit for you! 

Post # 10
377 posts
Helper bee

I would of waited for him to contact me. (THIS IS MY OPINION – mean bees back off) 

That being said, if he likes you,  it really doesnt matter at all. If he didnt like you, again, it doesn’t matter at all. 

Think about it this way – when we like a guy and hes smoothering us (Not implying that you’re doing this,  you’re not), we dont care how much they contact us. However, when we are not interested, a few calls or a text drives us crazy, like “Ugh! Why does he keep contacting me?” 

One text either way isnt going to make a difference. Going forward, I would let him initiate, until youre in a place where you know that he has the same feelings as you do towards him.  

He will text or call soon enough, if not, its better to know early on. Good luck, bee! Keep us posted 🙂

Post # 11
3014 posts
Sugar bee

cookingguru :  I don’t think you did anything wrong! I agree with pp, if he’s scared off by an enthusiastic text (after a 5 hr date in which he said he wants to see you again) then he’s not the one for you anyway. 

Personally, I tend to be pretty shy and old fashioned about these things and usually would wait for the guy to text me first, but that doesn’t mean my way is better or right. I think it’s great you were confident enough to initiate contact after the date. I wouldn’t be too worried that he hasn’t replied yet, but if a whole day goes by without any response I would probably assume he’s not that interested.

Post # 12
4666 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Too eager imo. 

Post # 13
2399 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2017 - Outside in Paris

At the end of our first date I thanked DH for dinner and great evening. He told me later it made him feel good. I would avoid texting this dude anymore. Wait for him to text you. 

Post # 14
975 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

thecakewhisperer :  

lookingahead :  These two bees captured my approach! I found that men typically responded better if I wasn’t super available or the first one to reach out after a date (for the first couple of dates). Call them games, but that’s just how it was. I adapted my approach after quite a bit of dating and that always worked best. 

OP, I think your message is very sweet, but I would wait to contact him further until he contacts you. And when he does, don’t respond right away. Wait a bit, so that he knows you’re busy and have other things going on than just waiting by the phone for him to call or text. 

Post # 15
3014 posts
Sugar bee

HappySky7 :  One text is not too eager. And even if it is eager, if you liked the person wouldn’t you be happy that they are showing eagerness? 

The dude is either into the OP or not. If he’s into her, that’s not going to change because she said she’d like to see him again. If he’s not into her, then she could play it cool as a cucumber and it would not magically convince him to continue seeing her.

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