Post # 1
I previously wrote in the family section here Guests complaining about wedding..want to cancel about the unkind comments of close family members regarding our post elopement wedding dinner. I received a lot of great feedback and we’ve decided to cancel. We haven’t sent our save the dates yet so I only need to alert the handful of people that we told about our dinner and who gave us a hard time. We’re doing it by email because we know that phone calls / in person will generate unwanted questions and these people won’t take “we’re choosing not to discuss it” for an answer. Please advise of your thoughts on the email. I’m thinking of getting rid of the last two sentences before Thank you. Not sure if they are needed. Thanks!
Please be advised that our wedding dinner for (insert date) has been cancelled and will not be rescheduled. Our reasons for cancelling are private and will not be discussed in detail. We apologize for any inconvenience that our wedding may have caused for anyone. We are astonished and devastated by the negativity and thoughtlessness that we encountered from those closest to us. Shame on anyone who attempted to make us feel guilty about our elopement and/or like our wedding celebration was a trivial event. Our elopement will be exactly how we intended it to be because that’s what we want and that’s what we deserve. We don’t want anyone to pretend to be happy about our plans, but we will not let anyone ruin this experience for us any further . Thank you.
Post # 3
@mseagles: No explanation needed, you say you’re not going to discuss it and then… well, discuss it. Adding more negativity (through email) is just asking for more drama. You can’t control what people do, just focus on what you are doing “We’ve decided to cancel” and leave it alone. They’ll get the point.
Post # 4
This is way too personal and has too much detail. You say you are not going to discuss it, and then give an explanation. I would make it like 3 sentences and call it a day.
Post # 5
I agree with PPs. Just word it as the wedding is canceled. The end. I know you have been really frustrated with those around you and their reactions to your wedding dinner, but I think letting it all out in the email is going to create more drama that you don’t want to deal with.
Post # 6
- Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center
Sounds fine to me. They started it, you’re finishing it. These are the words of a bride who no longer gves a f*ck.
Enjoy your elopement. Have a wonderful time and many blessings on your upcoming marriage. Muah!
Post # 7
OP. You are asking for more drama if you send this as it is.
Post # 8
You can’t say that your reasons are private and wont’t be discussed, and then go into your reasons! I mean, you CAN, but if you say you don’t want to talk about it, then talk about it, it doesn’t make sense, and it’s only going to cause more problems. Just use your first 2 sentences and leave it at that…if anyone wants to talk to you further about it, you can go from there with them individually. No need to ‘shame’ them. They will (hopefully) get it.
Post # 9
I’d just say you cancelled it and it won’t be rescheduled and you won’t be discussing it. End of story. Discussing it will create soooooooo much more drama that you don’t want to deal with. If asked, say you two have decided that the elopement is enough, and refuse to go into further detail if pressed.
Post # 10
@mseagles: I would leave it at the first 3 sentences. Don’t get into why, because you will just appear to be “finger-pointing”. You don’t need to tell them anything other than it is canceled.
Post # 11
The first three sentences would be best. Don’t send the rest. Be the bigger person, let it go, and move on with your lives together and build a new support system.
Post # 12
@mseagles: I think you are inviting a lot of drama with that response. How about this instead:
Please be advised that our wedding dinner for (insert date) has been cancelled and will not be rescheduled. We apologize for any inconvenience that this cancellation may cause and we hope to see you soon.
Post # 13
This may be one of those times where you write 2 notes: The one you WANT to write – where you blast people and vent. It’s usually best to delete that one in order to avoid the inevitable blowback. Then after you’ve gotten it off your chest, you write the politically correct one that is brief and to the point without explanation – that’s the one you send.
At least that’s how I’ve done it on a couple of occasions.
Post # 14
I am a drama queen so it sounds fine to me! Congratulations on your marriage.
Post # 16
Exactly. I would totally remove:
“We are astonished and devastated by the negativity and thoughtlessness that we encountered from those closest to us. Shame on anyone who attempted to make us feel guilty about our elopement and/or like our wedding celebration was a trivial event. Our elopement will be exactly how we intended it to be because that’s what we want and that’s what we deserve. We don’t want anyone to pretend to be happy about our plans, but we will not let anyone ruin this experience for us any further .”
Take the high road and don’t try to create more drama.