(Closed) Sending email to cancel wedding

posted 7 years ago in Elopement
Post # 3
691 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@mseagles:  No explanation needed, you say you’re not going to discuss it and then… well, discuss it. Adding more negativity (through email) is just asking for more drama. You can’t control what people do, just focus on what you are doing “We’ve decided to cancel” and leave it alone. They’ll get the point. 


Post # 4
4305 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

This is way too personal and has too much detail.  You say you are not going to discuss it, and then give an explanation.  I would make it like 3 sentences and call it a day.

Post # 5
2564 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I agree with PPs.  Just word it as the wedding is canceled.  The end.  I know you have been really frustrated with those around you and their reactions to your wedding dinner, but I think letting it all out in the email is going to create more drama that you don’t want to deal with.

Post # 6
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center

Sounds fine to me. They started it, you’re finishing it. These are the words of a bride who no longer gves a f*ck.

Enjoy your elopement. Have a wonderful time and many blessings on your upcoming marriage. Muah! 

Post # 7
4282 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@SnurfMurph86:  << this.

OP. You are asking for more drama if you send this as it is.

Post # 8
633 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

You can’t say that your reasons are private and wont’t be discussed, and then go into your reasons! I mean, you CAN, but if you say you don’t want to talk about it, then talk about it, it doesn’t make sense, and it’s only going to cause more problems. Just use your first 2 sentences and leave it at that…if anyone wants to talk to you further about it, you can go from there with them individually. No need to ‘shame’ them. They will (hopefully) get it.

Post # 9
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@SnurfMurph86:  +1.

I’d just say you cancelled it and it won’t be rescheduled and you won’t be discussing it. End of story. Discussing it will create soooooooo much more drama that you don’t want to deal with. If asked, say you two have decided that the elopement is enough, and refuse to go into further detail if pressed.

Post # 10
1157 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@mseagles:  I would leave it at the first 3 sentences.  Don’t get into why, because you will just appear to be “finger-pointing”.  You don’t need to tell them anything other than it is canceled.

Post # 11
227 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

The first three sentences would be best. Don’t send the rest. Be the bigger person, let it go, and move on with your lives together and build a new support system. 

Post # 12
3729 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: City, State

@mseagles:  I think you are inviting a lot of drama with that response. How about this instead:


Please be advised that our wedding dinner for (insert date) has been cancelled and will not be rescheduled. We apologize for any inconvenience that this cancellation may cause and we hope to see you soon.


Post # 13
1746 posts
Bumble bee

This may be one of those times where you write 2 notes: The one you WANT to write – where you blast people and vent.  It’s usually best to delete that one in order to avoid the inevitable blowback.  Then after you’ve gotten it off your chest,  you write the politically correct one that is brief and to the point without explanation – that’s the one you send. 

At least that’s how I’ve done it on a couple of occasions.

Post # 14
3184 posts
Sugar bee

I am a drama queen so it sounds fine to me! Congratulations on your marriage. 

Post # 16
1475 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@RoyalLime:  Exactly. I would totally remove:

“We are astonished and devastated by the negativity and thoughtlessness that we encountered from those closest to us. Shame on anyone who attempted to make us feel guilty about our elopement and/or like our wedding celebration was a trivial event.  Our elopement will be exactly how we intended it to be because that’s what we want and that’s what we deserve. We don’t want anyone to pretend to be happy about our plans, but we will not let anyone ruin this experience for us any further .”

Take the high road and don’t try to create more drama.

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