Post # 1
I have two guy friends I’ve recently reconnected with that are going through really rough patches in their marriages. One is going through a separation and an ugly custody battle, the other is recently divorced and his wife got remarried a few weeks ago.
Very long story short – Darling Husband and I decided to do picture christmas cards this year. If it wasn’t for the photos, I wouldn’t think twice and would send a card to these two friends. But, because the card depicts a happy and in love couple, it’s making me think twice.
Am I overthinking this? Should I not send the card? They wouldn’t ‘miss’ a card from me, as I’ve never sent them one in years past (we weren’t’ in touch then).
I guess I just don’t want them to open and it make them feel sad (although, I have a feeling pretty much everything does that)……
Post # 3
@oracle: I wouldn’t worry about it. I have a really good friend who was going through a terrible breakup right after I got engaged. I was afraid to talk about anything happy or wedding-related in front of him because I felt like it would sort of be like twisting the knife in his heart – but he has told me that even though he’s going through a crappy time, he is still happy for his friends when they’re happy.
I am sure that your friends are happy for their friends, even if they are facing their own challenges right now. If you want to send them a Christmas card, I think you should send it! Maybe you could even write a little note in there saying “Thinking of you & sending you hugs!” or something?
Post # 4
@oracle: I agree, I think it might make them feel sad. Maybe you could just get them regular greeting cards, with a little note inside that you are thinking of them and will be there if they need a should to lean on
Post # 5
@MrsSl82be: That’s a good option, too! @oracle: If your gut is telling you to skip the picture card, but you still want to send a holiday greeting to these guys, send them a regular card without pictures with a nice note inside.
Either way, I am sure they will appreciate a card and a note saying you’re thinking of them.
Post # 6
@MrsSl82be: ditto. I did the same thing. I have friends going through a divorce and we got married around the same time… I also realize im looking into it to much…but it is christmas after all…so i sent them a normal holiday card instead of a picture one.
Post # 7
That’s a really great idea, to send the generic card…. my only caution is there’s an event coming up where the most sad of the two will be at – it’s at the home of a friend that displays all her cards on the wall – and it will be obvious that he didn’t get the same card….. (oh my, my brain is on overdrive!!)