(Closed) Sending invitations following a death

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
131 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

My sincerest condolences to you… Big hugs…

Give yourself a week to get through this and then send invitations. 

Post # 4
2434 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I’m so sorry to hear about your father’s passing.  I am certain he would support your decision to go ahead with your plans.  My aunt passed unexpectedly 6 months before her daughter’s wedding.  My cousin went ahead with her plans and it was wonderful to have our family together again for a happy occasion after having been together for the funeral.

When I got engaged a few months after my aunt’s passing, my mother made me promise that if anything happened to her or my dad, that the wedding would go forward- no matter what.

I’m sure your dad would feel the same way.

I think you can easily wait a week to send them out.  If you are concerned that people will think you sent them before your father’s death and wonder if you were going to cancel, perhaps include a small note (like 1/4 of a sheet of paper that you can print out quickly at home.  Perhaps reassuring people that the wedding will go on and that your father would want everyone to be together to celebrate.

I’ll be keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

Post # 5
6009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I’m so sorry for your loss.  I can only imagine this is a very difficult thing for you and your family to deal with, especially since it’s only a few months out from your wedding date.

My grandfather died about three weeks ago.  Everyone was pretty upset because it was really sudden (similar to your situation), but everyone at the funeral also expressed how much they were looking forward to my wedding.  My grandmother even made a big speech at dinner one night about how she lost a husband but gained a grandson.  I sent my invites out on Saturday, 17 days after his death.

I don’t think the beginning of April is too soon.  A lot of people may actually appreciate the invitation since it gives them something positive to look forward to during such a painful and emotional time.  I don’t think sending out your invites will make anyway think you are being disrespectful or unfeeling towards your father.  Good luck in your planning, and we’ll all be thinking of you!

Post # 6
400 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

First, I want to tell you how sorry I am for your loss.

Second, if you feel that your father would’ve wanted you to go through with the wedding, I think you should. You could insert a note, as rosychicklet suggested, letting your guests know that despite the loss, you are continuing with the wedding, just as your dad would’ve wanted.

You can honor him in many ways during the ceremony and the reception, and still have a wonderful wedding. I bet your family would still like to attend the wedding to see you (and your FI) and to show their support during this difficult time.

Best of luck, and I will be keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Post # 7
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2007

I’m so sorry for your loss.  I think you should mail out your invitations as soon as you have them done (and feel ready).  I think everyone understands to embrace life and that "life goes on".  A sudden death in the family is certainly a reminder of that.

Post # 8
1428 posts
Bumble bee

I am so sorry for your loss (((((Hugs))))…I agree with rosy, do give yourself some time – if a week feels okay for you – sending prayers to you & your family.

Post # 9
1379 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

Sorry for your loss, how very tragic.  I agree with everyone above … take whatever time you need but do go ahead with your wedding plans. Your father would want that more then anything. If the invitations are ready to go, get them off your hands — or perhaps have a bridesmaid/friend help and bring them to be sent.  The last thing you want is for people to get them too late to make plans to travel. I do really like the idea of the 1/4 sheet of paper with a note/prayer regarding your fathers passing and him blessing you two to go ahead with your plans. So sorry, and come back to us if you need any other help!

Post # 11
536 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018 - The Desmond Hotel in Malvern, PA

My condolences to you.  I am so, so very sorry for the sudden loss of your father.  The hive is here for you 🙂

Post # 12
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’m so sorry for your loss, srismi.  

Post # 13
1508 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

My Sympathies.

Post # 14
7 posts

Sorry to hear about your loss.  I agree with Rosychicklet’s idea. 

Post # 15
578 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I am so sorry about your loss. I also agree with everyone wait a week and send them out. I think that will give you guys time and like others said it will be something happy to look forward to.

Wish you the best of luck!

Post # 16
108 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

You said you felt an "obligation" to go through with your wedding plans. While I agree with everyone about taking your time in sending them, maybe you need to decide for yourself how you feel about going through with this. I would make sure you aren’t going to charge through the day for everyone else, and wind up being sad the whole time and possibly being miserable, having not had the chance to greive and come to grips with your father not being there. Just my instincts in re-reading the post.

Condolences. *hugs* 

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