(Closed) Sending invitations when they already said no?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
921 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

We sent invites to people we knew couldn’t come mostly as a curtesey thing.

Post # 4
Member
334 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think etiquette is pretty clear on that one: send a STD means sending an invitation. But you can always add a personal comment to the invitation along the lines “It’s too bad you won’t be able to attend”. 

I don’t think it will look gift-grabby. They know you’re getting married already, so if they want to gift you despite not attending they will. Plus, you’ve spent time picking out your stationery, so they might enjoy getting a peak at that. I definitely would!

Post # 5
Member
2550 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’m only sending invitations to people who I know will be attending.  50ppl intimate wedding. 

But my Mom wants the additional invitations to send to her friends and family.  I wanted to send out Announcements but she’s old school.  She will get to send out the additional invitations the week of so I don’t get unexpected guest.

 

Post # 6
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Hi hun!

We were not going to send those who can not come invites BUT we were going to send them wedding programs.

Post # 7
Member
907 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

If they basically RSVPed no, then I don’t think you need to send them an invite. A couple people we sent Save-The-Date Cards to RSVPed (even though we made it clear a formal invitation would follow). I don’t know if they assumed the STD was the invite or if they just thought they were doing us a favor, but I just marked their “no” RSVP in my spreadsheet. I think sending them an invite now would actually confuse them.

Post # 8
Member
5889 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

oh i just had another thread for this!! someone i know didn’t send me an invitation because she knew i couldn’t fly across country for the wedding due to cost, but she had no problem sending me an invitation to her shower and bachelorette parties.  this definitely rubbed me the wrong way.  in my opinion, regarldess of whether or not someone can go, you send them an invitation.

Post # 9
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I asked my friends who already said no to my wedding if they still want me to send the formal wedding invitation. They all said yes: according to them, they want to keep the invitation in their album and think of us, even though they cannot be physically with us on the wedding date. 

Post # 10
Member
907 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Ms.Meowerson, that is def rude!

Post # 11
Member
1335 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@Mrs. Meowerson: That was definitely rude if the bride did that. But maybe her Maid/Matron of Honor or another bridesmaid sent out the bridal shower and bachelorette party invites. That’s what my friend’s Maid/Matron of Honor did. The bride just sent her a master list of who she wanted to invite a while ago. So maybe your friend just didn’t update whoever was giving out the shower invites on who could and couldn’t go. I do agree with you that everyone you planned on inviting should get an invite, regardless of their attendance status.

Post # 12
Member
5889 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

@Golden139: very possible.  either way, though, i still think a wedding invitation should be sent.  an invitation indicates that you want someone there, not whether or not they are able to attend.

Post # 13
Member
1335 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@Mrs. Meowerson: I totally agree with you. I just edited my original response at the same time as you posted your response to me 🙂

Post # 15
Member
2154 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’ve actually had people tell me they can’t come, but request an invitation. They actually just want a physical invitation. I don’t understand it, but I’m happy to oblige! Whatevs!

Post # 16
Member
210 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@MissKatelyn: awesome. I just signed on to ask the same question. 🙂

The topic ‘Sending invitations when they already said no?’ is closed to new replies.

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