(Closed) Sending invites to attendants and family

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Do you send invites to your parents and your BMs and GMs?
    Yes because its good etiquette : (43 votes)
    58 %
    Yes because its for sentimental value : (27 votes)
    36 %
    No because its a waste of paper : (3 votes)
    4 %
    No because [insert reason] : (1 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3762 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I could almost vote in two categories. 

    I would vote yes for etiquette reasons and sentimental reasons. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    7587 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2010

    I would be upset if I didn’t get an invite to a wedding I was in.

    Post # 5
    Member
    3314 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Yeah I’m with caszos on this.  If I could have put 2 reasons it would have been for both good etiquette and for sentimental value!  I know both of our sets of parents were glad that they got the invitations.  ๐Ÿ™‚  

    As for the wedding party, I also sent invites to make sure whether they were bringing anyone with them or not, since all of them got +1’s.  ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 7
    Member
    170 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I love receiving wedding invitations! More so if I am in the wedding or family because I am probably more excited about those weddings than others. I would be kind of miffed if I did not get one. And in this day and age, paper invitations themselves are not eco-friendly so if you are passionate about that you should just e-vite people. I think practically, you need the response cards (especially if people are selecting their dinner option). But again, this could also be done via a wedding website doing e-vites. The only concern would be older relatives who do not use the internet. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    3148 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    @bells: for sentimental and etiquette reasons i would do it. I didnt at first thinking the same as you…a little redudant as i know and they know they are coming, but in the long run it isnt that much more just to send them one!! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 9
    Member
    5761 posts
    Bee Keeper

    You don’t really have to send them one. Just hand it to them or ask if they want one. Most parents want one just as a keepsake, I think.

    Post # 11
    Member
    5787 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I’d be upset if I didn’t get an invite and I was part of the bridal party. It just feels so informal to have the bride tell you when/where to show up and that be it. I love getting mail, so any opportunity I have to get something personal in the mail I am interested in.

    Post # 12
    Member
    7695 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I voted yes for etiquette and sentimentality – I dont really understand why you would not receive an invitation! We even gave my brother who lived with us at the time his own invitation – we didnt mail it to him but we just left it on his dresser. I would also be upset if I didnt get an invitation to a wedding I was in or for a family member.

    Post # 13
    Member
    518 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I just mailed my Save the Dates to everyone.  lol  I think it’s a must to send invites and Save the Dates to all people at the wedding.  IMO.

    Post # 14
    Member
    1766 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    It’s funny you post this because FH asked me yesterday ‘Are we sending invitations to the wedding party? No, right? Because they already know they’re invited?’ and I just gave him the ‘I hope you’re kidding’ look of death.

    I might be wrong, but I think someone would like to have an actual invitation to the wedding they are in for sentimental reasons. Furthermore, RSVPs are made to keep track. I would be worried that some people would see an oral invitation as something they can extend to whomever they wish. I don’t care if you’re a groomsman, if I didn’t put your flavor-of-the-week’s name on an invitation, you can’t bring her to the wedding!

    Post # 15
    Member
    572 posts
    Busy bee

    I would send because many want to keep as a keepsake. I agree that you also need to know their meal choices, guests, etc. I want both parents to be surprised to see my invites. The only folks that will help me assemble will be my Maid/Matron of Honor. I iwll probably hand hers to her instead of mail, but she will get one just the same. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    489 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    For the bridesmaids, because I know they’ll enjoy getting the mail, for our familys because they’ll also enjoy them, and for the groomsmen, so they’ll know when to show up ๐Ÿ˜‰

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