(Closed) Sending out invites question

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 4
4495 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Half of our guests are coming from 1-2 hours away and the other half will be traveling from other states across the country. Everything I read regarding this issue said to still send it out 2 months in advance – even for people attending from other countries!! I did read a few websites that said 2.5 months would be acceptable, but nothing more.

We too are having an evening wedding with an open bar. We don’t want people driving home that night if they don’t have to, so I agree that a decent amount of time needs to be given in order to accommodate for travel, accommodations, scheduling time off of work (if necessary), etc. We actually already sent out invites out for our October wedding. I don’t care what etiquette is – if I were a potential guest traveling from out of town I would want ample time to make arrangements. Ample time for me to find a flight and/or hotel is not 2 months, not ideally anyway.

So far I have gotten nothing but positive feedback from people saying that they appreciate the advanced notice and would like it if other couples did this for out of town weddings.

Post # 5
388 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

In the UK invites normally go out about 3 months in advance. Mine went out 4 months in advance as I was too impatient haha. I think give people more time rather than less. I like to plan things in advance, especially holidays, trips etc so I don’t see anything wrong with them going early.

Post # 6
2716 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@teresa6138:  Save-The-Date Cards might be the best way to go here.  All they really need to know is a date and location and they can figure out their own accomodations. You also can create a wedding website and have lodging info there.  You don’t want to send out invites too early (I’d say 2.5 months is the earliest).  People lose them, forget about them, or respond early but then their schedule changes and they find out they can/can’t attend.

Post # 7
525 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@teresa6138:  I’d send them out 3 months in advance, but set the RSVP date about 6 weeks before the wedding. That would give your guests about 6 weeks to reply.

I don’t see the harm in sending them early – just set your RSVP date accordingly. (i.e. if you send them today, move the RSVP date up from 6 weeks before the wedding.) Personally, I think the 6-8 weeks standard before the wedding is too late to be sending an invite and it puts a big rush on getting the RSVP’s back in time.

Post # 8
105 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

We had a very similar situation. At 5 months out we sent Save the Dates with a seperate slip in the envelope containing accomodation information. We blocked rooms at a specific hotel.


I wouldn’t send the invites now though. People have a tendency to lose things and if they rsvp too soon you may not get an accurate response as things change in the course of 2 months.

Post # 9
2808 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

i’d say send them 3-4 months ahead of time, but set the rsvp date at least 4-5 weeks out from the wedding, just so you have enough time to get info from everyone and still be able to tell the venue how many people are coming.

my wedding is over a year away, but our wedding is a destination wedding for 90% of our guests. we’re doing save the dates about a year in advance, and invitations 4-5 months in advance. purely for the fact that everyone will be coming from at least an hour away. that’s our choice, but i know that not everyone has that option.


Post # 10
3267 posts
Sugar bee

@teresa6138:  It does not matter where and when your wedding is.  Invitations are still sent out 6-8 weeks before the event. 

It is not polite to force guests to RSVP months in advance, many people will not know their work, financial or other committments that far in advance.

But that doesn’t meant that you cannot speak to your guests (presumably they are people you see regularly) and let them know.

Post # 12
739 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@teresa6138:  The missing piece of information here is: did you send a STD? If not, I think that sending them at the 3 month mark is appropriate. No earlier than that. I also like PPs suggestion to make the RSVP date 6 weeks before the wedding, that way you’re giving them 6 weeks to respond. 

If you did send a STD, you should probably stick to 2-2.5 months. 

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