(Closed) Sensitive situation: When to tell BFF I am pregnant

posted 5 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
2166 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’ve never been in that situation but I would tell her before when she is more optimistic, because if anything goes wrong with her IVF, after would be harder for her to hear your good news I think. Either way, you sound like very good friends and you will both support each other no matter what.


Post # 4
2692 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I would tell her the same time you told your family just to be on the safe side in case her ivf isn’t successful.

Dh and I are pregnant with our 4th and my really good friend struggles with infertiliy. She is going for treatment this month and hopes afterwards she can become pregnant but she is so happy for dh and I.  Dh’s cousin also struggles with infertility and has done IVF 2x without any luck.  I felt so bad telling her I was pregnant AGAIN, knowing how badly she wants kids of her own.  But like everyone else, she was also happy for us. 

Post # 6
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

I agree with PP.

Also, she has one healthy 3 year old already. It’s not like she has been trying for years to have a child and it never happened. She should be happy for you even if it stings just a little bit.

Post # 7
5655 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

@hotpinkbride:  She should be told face to face, by you, BEFORE you announce it to others…. of course family could be & would likely be first but she should be told at the same time/shortly after. She should hear it first hand, not finding out from someone else, and most definitely before she would guess.

There was a wonderful blog post over on hellobee that covers this exact topic… it would definitely be worth the read!

GL and Congrats!

Post # 8
12248 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

Definitely before IVF… I would probably tell her now, and swear her to secrecy. Just so it’s not still brand new to her while she’s starting her IVF.

Post # 10
7445 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

Before, definitely.

Post # 12
5655 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

@hotpinkbride:  Oh well then in that case a phone call or email would also be appropriate. IF y’all lived close where y’all saw each other regularly then of course it would be highly inappropriate to tell her not face to face. That’s what I meant. 😉

Post # 13
2224 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Personally, I would tell my BFF of my pregnancy pretty much as soon as I found out. The concern for not telling before the end of the first trimester is just in case something happens and you lose it, right? Well I would want my BFF’s help and shoulder to cry on if that happened, so she may as well know now.

But if you’re adamant about waiting til later, tell her before her IVF so if it doesn’t work, it’s not “Sorry you couldn’t get preggers but guess what, I did! Aren’t you super happy for me?!” Instead, it’s “I got knocked up, let’s hope you share the same fate!”

Good luck!

Post # 16
306 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013


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