(Closed) Sensitive Topic (very emotional)

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
2491 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@babypearls:  I think you might want to go back to the clinic and ask to speak to a councillor. The feelings you have a very common, and I know many people experience grief and loss with abortion. I have had an early m/c, but never had an abortion, so I really don’t know what to say about coping, besides it gets better, but it always hurts.

Post # 4
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@babypearls:  Im sorry youre going through that feeling. 🙁 Like you said, you cant turn back the hands of time. But I am a little confused, did your SO say no you couldnt have the baby? Is that why you terminated the pregnancy? I dont mean to sound judgy, I am just trying to understand, and maybe that is part of why youre feeling the way you are, if you didnt want to do that and feel like you had to. I hope that you find relief though!

Post # 5
6354 posts
Bee Keeper

I’m sorry. (((((hugs)))))

What a heart-wrenching decision, but sounds like you made the best choice. You still need the time to process, grieve,and heal.

I would assume that your hormones are also going to be playing tricks on your mood for a little while, so try to keep that in mind… they may be making you feel really terrible but it doesn’t necessarily mean there is more to read into it than you know already… and it will pass (the hormone part).

The grief will heal the way any other grief heals. I don’t know how to describe it but I’m sure you know. The unbearable becomes bearable, but not because you care any less.

Post # 6
870 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

So sorry you’re feeling this way… *hugs*  I would definitely suggest grief counseling.

Post # 8
3660 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2000

@babypearls:  You did what you thought best for your family. I’m sorry you are having trouble with this decision, these things are never easy. I hope you can take comfort in that fact that you are human and you are doing the best that you can.

Post # 9
162 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I am so sorry.  I can’t imagine what you must be going through. I agree with the PP who suggested talking to a counselor.  Please take care.  *BEE HUGS*

Post # 10
3306 posts
Sugar bee

Definitely see a counselor and making plans to move forward from this decision. You need to have time to grieve, but don’t let it consume you.

Post # 11
9541 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I”m so so sorry that you’re having to deal with this. Your feelings are totally normal. The descision to terminate is never easy. Even when it’s the right decision. It sounds like you went into it pretty quickly and that can make it harder. But it doesn’t mean that it was a wrong decision. You were doing what you thought was best for your family. And there’s no going back. Only forward. I agree with the PPs that counseling would be a good idea. And talk to your guy. Don’t be too hard on yourself. In fact, take some time to take care of yourself. You’re not a bad person. You were in a bad situation. It may not seem like ti now but it will get easier. Just take it a day at a time. And the bee is always here for you!

Post # 12
1051 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I’m really sorry you have to go through this, it sounds like you made the best decision for your family and it’s okay to grieve and take time to heal. I agree with pp that speaking with a counselor would help you sort through and process your feelings and would probably be a big help. 

Post # 13
1621 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Regret, mild depression and grief are very common in the initial weeks and months post-abortion…even if you know that it was the right decision for you.  Go see a counselor to help work through these emotions, but please know that this is very common *at first* but that most people feel these emotions also mixed with a sense of relief and that most women will after some time see it as a sad and difficult choice but one that they ultimately believe was the best for them and that they would do again if they could go back in time.  

In short, everything you’re feeling (including the mixed feelings) is very normal and natural.  Time and speaking with a counselor will be of enormous benefit to you, and you will come to a place of acceptance on this.

Post # 14
2959 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I am very sorry that you are going through this. Counseling may help. I terminated two early pregnancies in my lifetime but it was completely voluntary on my part so I never went through the anguish you are. I am hoping that you will feel better about this soon and I am sending hugs!

Post # 15
620 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Your gut feeling was that having another baby wasn’t right for you or your family.

Trust your instinct and I hope you feel at peace with your decision soon.

Post # 16
619 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

@babypearls:  I’m sorry you’re going through this. If you’re a believer, the number one thing I would recommend is to vent out all your feelings and release your anguish in prayer. Finding a good counselor that you can talk with would be good. Something else that can help you heal is to eventually consider counseling other women who find themselves in your situation. Best wishes to you. (hug)

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