(Closed) sensitive wording help on programs

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
263 posts
Helper bee

@christineandjohn: At first, I thought this was going on your INVITATIONS! I misread it all, and was thinkinng “oh no! that can’t go on the invitations!”

But on the program, I think it sounds fine and not offensive, tacky, or anything else like that. Gotta do what you gotta do! 

ETA: I might leave out this part: “to avoid strain on the house septic system…” I don’t think it’s necessary.

Post # 4
7673 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I wouldn’t mention the house toilets at all. Just your first sentence:

“VIP restrooms are available in the front for your convenience”

Then I would use word of mouth to tell those with special needs that they can use the indoor toilets.

p.s. Once the wedding is under way, I don’t see why the bridal party should get special access to indoors. It should just be people who live there, special needs people, and you (because of your dress).

Post # 10
1772 posts
Buzzing bee

If you think you need to explain I would try to avoid the word septic.  Maybe:

  Unfortunately, older plumbing systems are too limited to accomodate all of our guests, VIP portable toilets are available at the front.   

Post # 12
8178 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@christineandjohn: Please take paula1248‘s advice.

Do you think mentioning the house toilets will make them feel like we’re making them second class guests?” — Yes, definitely. And it might ensure that whenever they think of your wedding, they also think of “a potential hazard for damage and a possible stinky mess”. Don’t put this in your guests’ minds! 

Post # 13
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I think that calling them “VIP” does sort of make it seem like most of your guests are “not good enough” to use the indoor bathrooms, even though I think most of your guests would understand what issues you are trying to avoid.

What does VIP restroom mean? I would leave off the VIP part.  As you can see, I thought at first that you were referring to the indoor bathrooms as VIP only.

I would just leave this off entirely to be honest, it seems kind of inappropriate for a wedding program.  Can you just have signs directing guests to the portable restrooms? Like these type of sign:


And then let any guests who you think will have difficulty using the bathroom know through word of mouth that there is a bathroom inside?

I think if you advertise in your program that there is a bathroom inside, you’d be surprised at how many people will just go in there to avoid the portable ones. 

Post # 14
7673 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@christineandjohn:  Yes I do (think it would make them seem like second class guests). However if you removed mention of (all) family and bridal party I think it would be ok, i.e.:

VIP restrooms are available in the front for your convenience. Please reserve the indoor facilities for the Smith family and those with special needs.”

(Assuming the hosts’ name is Smith). No need to mention you, because I don’t think anyone will get upset if they spot you going down the hallway. (ETA: Though I note the point that telling people about indoor toilets might cause lots of people to use them).

ETA: If it’s about “evening out” toilet use, you could quietly tell a few people that it’s ok if they use the indoor toilets too.

Post # 15
1102 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Hahaha. Please don’t use the word ‘strain’ in a sentance regarding bathrooms.

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