(Closed) Sensitive?

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
4466 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

If your mom is anything like mine, then she’s been dreaming of the wedding for you that she wished she could have had.  My mom had a very small/low budget wedding (not that there’s anything wrong with that) and dreamed that my sister and I would have the beautiful fairy tale wedding that she always dreamed of.   She imagined us walking down the steps of our hometown church while everyone looked on.  And a big sparkly reception complete with long bridesmaids gowns, a big poufy wedding dress, etc.

Unfortunately for my mom, this is not the wedding I envisioned.  At first, we argued at every turn, but have agreed to disagree and she’s more on-board with my ideas, even though they’re different than hers.

I would imagine your mom feels a similar way.  She probably didn’t picture her one daughter’s wedding to be a small destination wedding in Jamaica.  She probably wanted a big fairy-tale-esque affair where she could show you off to all.

She’ll get on board, don’t worry.  Ask her what she would like to help out with, and if she has any ideas.  With my mom, this was the DIY stuff.  She loves it.  I email her ideas and we make plans for weekends when we will do them together.  Sometimes moms have different ideas than us and they just need a little nudging to get into it ;o)

Post # 4
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

MrsCox, I feel your pain!  My Mother and I are really tight and she loves my fiance.  She never had a wedding and I’m her only girl too.  So I’ve been dragging her around to help plan but she doesn’t seem thrilled either!  I don’t get it.  I’m wondering if its just hard for them to let go so they can’t express excitment?  I don’t know but I took her to get my dress.  I tried it on assuming she’d get emotional… NOTHING!  In my head I was like, “Come on lady!  What’s a girl gotta do to make you cry?!”  Ok, I’m kidding but you’re right, there should be some fuss. 

Regarding your plans for the wedding in Jamaica.  Maybe she envisioned a larger wedding, one here in the states.  I’m sure she doesn’t want to upset you or make things more difficult but she may not know how to express her concerns.  I have been to a few destination weddings and someone in the family is always disappointed that more people couldn’t be involved.

In the end I think you’re gonna have to talk to her, not to make her feel bad but maybe just to give her the chance to explain where she’s coming from and for you to not keep your feelings inside either. 

Good luck with it all :o)

Post # 5
908 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’m so sorry that you are going through this!!

Is there some underlying reason that she may not be excited?  I hate to ask, but does she like your FI?  Do you think that she is upset that she can’t help financially and maybe feels like she shouldn’t get a “say”?

I hope you know you’re not alone.  I feel like almost every Bride has Mom problems, either way TOO involved and opinionated or not involved at all which I think is more hurtful. 

Is there any way that you could talk to her?  Like put more of the focus on how you’d like her opinion.  Have you gone wedding dress shopping?  Take her with you when you go, maybe that will make it seem more real to her.  Your wedding is a long way off, maybe she feels like it’s too early to get excited.  (I think it’s NEVER too early)

If all else fails, just start posting here more!  We are always excited about weddings and you’ll get an honest opinion on everything!!

Post # 6
4385 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

i think it’s possible she is just having a hard time letting go. even though you’ve been out of the house and independent for a while, weddings always seem to be different.

i have found people don’t seem all that interested in my wedding either, and i think that’s just because it’s so far away, so everyone thinks i will be changing my mind on everything!

i’m sorry this is happening to you. you said you were very close with your mom, so maybe you could talk to her about how you’re feeling?

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