(Closed) Sent a friend a gift for her September wedding and never received a thank you…

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1137 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think it depends.

I actually asked my sister when I received our first gift – she told me to write the thank you and send it out after the wedding (just put it aside until that point). I ended up mailing it out right away, as I did some reading and a lot of people recommend doing it right away.

Post # 5
10366 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

A lot of people wait until after the wedding to open their gifts and send thank yous. Also, if it has only been like 4 weeks, she may still be in the process of writing thank yous on top of all the other crazy wedding planning stuff. I’d cut her some slack. You could always ask her directly if she got it instead of covertly going behind her back to find out. Communication usually makes things better…

Post # 7
33 posts

I think that’s kind of rude, In My Humble Opinion.  I actually just looked it up and found this:


It says gifts should be sent within two weeks of receiving one even if it’s before the wedding.  As a friend, I would have at least called or emailed my friend to say thank you, even if I didn’t have time to write a formal thank you yet. 

Post # 8
1046 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

We sent out thank you notes for the gifts that we got REALLY early soon after. But for those within about a 1 month of the wedding, we waited until after the wedding to send out the thank you cards (we were very busy!). Many people plan to buy their thank you cards after the wedding, especially if they are going to have them made with their picture or want to include a picture in the card. 

I’m sure your friend will send you a note after the wedding. I would let this go. I’m sure she appreciates your gift.

Post # 9
172 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Not tryign to threadjack, but if you get checks before the wedding are you supposed to cash them?

Post # 10
3267 posts
Sugar bee

You should always acknowledge a gift within a few weeks.  Even if you folllow it later with the written thanks (though that should be quite prompt as well).

I don’t understand the wait until after the wedding logic. Afterwards you are going to have so many notes to write its better to get them over before hand, save you one later. 

You should also cash all cheques promptly (within a week of receipt IMO), so people can easily manage their banking.

Post # 13
442 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think she really should acknowledge it as soon as she got the gift.  At least mention it to you.

I was wondering if people even send out thank you cards anymore. I was Maid/Matron of Honor in a wedding last summer and threw a bridal shower, bachelorette party and gave gifts at both parties and never received a thank you card for anything. It really bothered me.

Post # 15
1401 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Maybe she thought it was a shower gift and was waiting until after the shower to send you a thank-you? I know I struggled with this because people started sending us shower gifts 2-3 weeks before the actual shower, and I wondered if it would be rude to thank someone for a shower gift prior to the shower itself… 

I agree with others though, that it’s always a good idea with wedding gifts to write thank-you notes as you receive gifts! Sorry she hasn’t acknowledged your present. 🙁

Post # 16
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I’ve sent gifts for two weddings in the past few years that I never received a verbal or written thank you for. I wondered for a while too, if it’s just becoming the norm where people don’t feel as bothered to say thanks anymore.

Both were pretty good friends I’ve known for years. One had an intimate wedding, but didn’t invite me due to budget, and I decided to send them a gift anyway, because I care about the couple. Never received one mention at all about the gift. The other I actually went to the wedding, then have been to a few get-togethers at their house where they’ve used the serving trays I bought. I even went so far once as to say “Hey I love that you’re using the gifts I bought you! They look so nice I might have to buy some for myself” and they were just like “Yeah we like them…”. Really? Maybe a quick thank you might be nice then…

Anyway, there is no really tactful way to say “I think you should thank me for being a good friend and buying you a nice gift”. I know for me, it does kind of change how you think/feel about that person though afterward…

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