(Closed) Sent gift 2 months after wedding, no "thank you" received.

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Was I terribly rude and deserve no "thank you"?

    If it isn't on time, it is your own fault.

    She is the rude one- you acknowledge a gift no matter when it is received.

    You're both wrong and OP got what she deserved for having poor manners.

    Something else???

  • Post # 17
    Member
    1166 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    @This Time Round:  As an “etiquette snob” I’m surprised that waiting to send thank yous to guests so you can put your pictures in them makes the cut.  How is that polite and/or etiquette friendly?

    I think it’s quite rude to wait months to send out thank yous just so pictures are in there.   Then you’re making the thank you’s all about YOU and not about the guest who gave the gift.  

    Post # 18
    Member
    1039 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2004

    @mypinkshoes:  Ditto.  I had 200 peoplw at my wedding and sat down for a couple hours each day for a few days to get the thank-yous out in a timely fashion.  I think every single one was out within 2 weeks of the passing of my wedding.  And I did it because I genuinely appreciated their presence at the wedding and their gift.  Thr only way to show your gratitude is getting them a thank you card right away.  I cant understand the people who take more than a few days to get them done.  Boggles my mind.

    Post # 19
    Member
    1039 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2004

    @skippydarling:  

    I think it’s quite rude to wait months to send out thank yous just so pictures are in there.   Then you’re making the thank you’s all about YOU and not about the guest who gave the gift.  

     
    Exactly this.  Personally, I think it is more than tacky to send out a picture thank you card.  It certainly makes the senders look narcissistic.  

    Post # 20
    Member
    1166 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    @BearyLovely:  Standing Ovation.

    And you get 10 gold stars for not saying you were too busy after the wedding to write them.  Everyone thinks they’re busier than everyone else.  I’m busy, you’re busy, we’re all busy. 

    Post # 21
    Member
    442 posts
    Helper bee

    My “inner bitch” says to email her and ask her to what address she sent your thank you card since you couldn’t find it in your mailbox.

    Post # 22
    Member
    2265 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @whatsbest:  she sounds like an ungrateful brat (sorry not sorry!) you should NEVER ask your guest “OH HEY By The Way WHERES YOUR GIFT” in the first place, and should ALWAYS thank them. for being “wealthy” she sure wasn’t raised with many manners…

    Post # 23
    Member
    8066 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Yeah she is rude for not sending a thank you.  You didn’t do anything wrong.

    However…I’d probably give her a little more time to get it sent out.  I think they should be done within a month or so but some people are just slower.  I’d probably give it a few more weeks before I got really angry and wrote her off.

    Post # 24
    Member
    6583 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2010

    1) She was rude to ask about your gift.

    2) It has only been 6 weeks- her thank you may still be on its way, so don’t worry about it yet.

     

    Post # 26
    Member
    1388 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @JoCoJenn:  I love this. 

    OP, you were not in the wrong. And if someone asked me what happened to the gift I owe them, I wouldn’t have been nearly as nice and generous about it as you were. 

    Post # 27
    Member
    466 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Usually I don’t condone rudeness followed by rudeness, but since she was brazen enough to see where her gift was, I would e-mail her asking where your thank you is…”just to make sure it didn’t get lost!”  I think six weeks is plenty of time to write and send a thank you. And btw, $100 is more than generous! Thats still a lot of money to some people.

     

    @skippydarling:  YES THIS. I had about 35 thank you’s sent out 4 days after my shower. When I recieve a gift in the mail, I turn around and write a thank you and drop it in the mailbox. I only sacrifice about 5 minutes less of seeing what the Kardashians are up to. Not that big of a deal.

    Post # 28
    Member
    1673 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    I’ve been an exhausted mess this week but plan on having my thank yous out for my shower this weekend (shower was 5 days ago).

    Post # 29
    Member
    8373 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    I cannot fault your friend for not yet having acknowledged your gift. Many people have been misinformed that they have up to a year after their weddings to send thank-you notes, and I was one of those people prior to becoming a member of this site.

    However, I will say without any hesitation that this bride was 100-percent wrong ever to have contacted you to ask about her gift. 

    Post # 30
    Member
    7439 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    TO @skippydarling:  lol, somehow because I write “Etiquette Snob” (a title, I admit I use in jest… you’ll note there is ALWAYS a LOL in there)… I do so because of the life I’ve lived (upbringing & career) I am in a position so as to KNOW ALL THE RULES quite intricately.

    BUT one cannot automatically “assume” that means I adhere to ALL the Rules, or am absolutely required to be perfect.

    (A misread / misunderstanding by yourself… but you are not alone on that)

    Knowing something, and being virtually perfect at it in reality are two different things.  Just because someone can play the piano doesn’t automatically make them a world class Pianist.

    So I admit on WBee, that I am not perfect in my Etiquette all the time for myself.

    I quite readily admit that.

    Etiquette, like Manners are a set of social rules that we consciously choose to use or omit… eveyone chooses to do what they are comfortable with, knowing well that there are consequences to making poor choices… it is a risk you take.

    That is the message I try to convey here on WBee… what is traditionally regarded as most polite in a particular circumstance

    Just like many Brides I did choose to go the Photo Thank You route, because as an Encore Bride I was really looking to this, cause it wasn’t an option that was available to me the first time round (circa 1980)

    And altho I absoultely LOVE our Thank You Cards / Wedding Announcements, I have to admit the price I paid (see risk above) Etiquette wise was very disappointing.

    My post here is strictly saying that…

    Guests my B!tch that they didn’t get a Thank You in what they consider a timely fashion (immediate to a few weeks) partly because there be more going on behind the scenes than they are aware of

    Such as a Photographer hang-up… or a Printing one, if the Couple has chosen to go the Photo Thank You Route.

    And therein lies the risk to the Happy Couple… choose to go the Photo Thank You route, and Guests may get annoyed at the possible delay

    Hope this helps,

     

    Post # 31
    Member
    581 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    I can’t believe she asked you where your gift was! She’s the rude one. And because I’m a spiteful person, I’d ask her where your thank you is!

    The topic ‘Sent gift 2 months after wedding, no "thank you" received.’ is closed to new replies.

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