(Closed) Sent out invitations Saturday…already getting negative comments. :(

posted 3 years ago in Paper
Post # 31
Member
2014 posts
Buzzing bee

vatoca1016 : Was he one of the people who added names to their RSVPs for your cousin’s wedding (assuming of course that it’s the same side of the family)?

Post # 32
Member
2627 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - Hogarths, Solihull

vatoca1016 :  I’m sorry Hun, his comments were out of line 🙁 you should be happy, not feeling like this!

Sounds to me like he’s just p*ssed he can’t get away with inviting more people. Perhaps he thinks if someone else (your parents maybe?) were planning the Wedding then they’d have been more lenient.

Either way, sod him! I don’t think there was anything wrong with what you did <3

xx

Post # 33
Member
322 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

Ignore him, his comment was rude too. I wish I had done that because no one reads the invitation to see who it’s addressed and I’ve had to field so many questions on who was actually invited, sigh.

Post # 34
Member
13667 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Your uncle is being rude.  Personally, I don’t like the “_ of 2” already filled in part, because I’m an adult and know how to identify who is or isn’t coming based off the invitation, but to each her own. 

As for the comment about you planning your wedding…just try to ignore it.  Perhaps ask your mother not to relay the negative comments to you, as well.

Post # 35
Hostess
8688 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

vatoca1016 :  Sorry your uncle is being an asshat- ignore, let it go, he sounds like the kind of person who just LOVES to find something to moan about.

Post # 36
Member
4121 posts
Honey bee

He needs to stfu.

Post # 37
Member
506 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

JiminyCricket :  You may be able to identify but not everyone knows the rules of wedding invitation etiquette.  Instead of assuming that someone knows it, it’s better to be straight forth. 

I know that I personally didn’t know know anything about this stuff when my co-worker got married a few months ago.  The envelope was addressed to me and included “1 seat in my honor”. I was a little surprised since I assumed my boyfriend of 2 years would be invited.  I wasn’t upset or anything but I’m glad that she spelled it out for me. 

Post # 38
Member
2631 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

How rude!!!! You didn’t do anything wrong.  Just try to ignore the comments, I know it can be hard though.

Post # 39
Member
12208 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

Your uncle was incredibly rude. Telling someone that they have committed an etiquette faux pas is worse than any unintended offense.  But contrary to what a lot of people are telling you, and since you ask, etiquette does not approve your reply card wording. Traditional etiquette doesn’t even approve reply cards, but that’s another story.

But yes, the language you used risks offending people with the implication that they would otherwise be rude enough to reply for additional people.  

Post # 40
Member
7032 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Your uncle is a dick. Honestly, if it were me I’d call him up and say:

“You seem to be unhappy about your invitation so I’d love to fix that problem for you, you’re no longer invited.”

If there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that I’m too old deal with bullshit. I certainly had that mindset when I was younger too but went out of my way more to make sure I was inclusive. After I turned 30 I realized that as long as my immediate family and those I care most about are happy….I don’t care about the rest. An uncle is just not high on my priority list and some people might think that’s a crappy attitude to have but I just don’t have tolerance anymore for assholes in my life. Life is hard enough as it is, there’s no reason to keep jerks in your life.

Post # 41
Member
1184 posts
Bumble bee

Not excusing his comments, but I’ve never come across the entire half filled in RSVP cards and ‘5 seats have reserved in your honour’ until I joined weddingbee.  I can tell who is invited if you’ve named me and Darling Husband. Just call the people who can’t work out not to add guests. I find wording like that to be overly formal & slightly patronising. They’re not ‘in my honour’ at all, you’re simply saying ‘can you read?’ 

I’d never say anything thought because it’s not needed. It might be that he’s just joking about something that he’s never come across.

Post # 42
Member
3395 posts
Sugar bee

Uncle is rude, and mom is dumb/clueless for telling you about it.

Post # 44
Member
5889 posts
Bee Keeper

theatrejulia :  Absolutely agree that OP doesn’t deserve her dickhead G-uncle’s snark, but he’d sure as hell get snark sent back his way- and I’d happily inform him he didn’t need to send the oh-so-offensive (to him) card back at all because I just pencilled him in a ‘zero’. 

Post # 45
Member
3686 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Your invitations are exactly how they should be to prevent unwanted RSVPs.  Your uncle is a dick.  Hopefully, he’ll decline to attend.

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