(Closed) sent save-the-date, now having second thoughts…

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
4824 posts
Honey bee

If she is not with him, she probably wouldnt come anyway. I would still send her the invite since its the right thing to do. If they do get back together, you dont want her resenting you.

In case it comes up again I would send an invite for a pair to only one address with one invite to the person you know best. No need for two seperate invites for a couple

Post # 4
27 posts
  • Wedding: October 2012

See how it is when the time comes to send the invites. If their on/off relationship is “ON” at that point, then I would send her one.

Post # 7
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@lefeymw:  I agree. If they’re “off”, I’m sure she wouldn’t come! But sending an invite would still let you be the “good guy” to her in case they’re “on” again in the future. Besides, it sounds like they’re really unstable, so you may *not* send one, and then they’ll be on again by the time the wedding rolls around. I don’t know, I think you risk the least by just sending her an invite.

By The Way, is your wedding a no kids wedding? Is the child invited?

Post # 8
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I would send him the invite with her name as a guest.. then it’s up to him to give her the invite or not

Post # 9
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

It happens.  I’ve regretted a few STD’s…it’s so hard to predict who you’ll be chummy with 18 months down the road.  I still sent out the formal invites to these people out of obligation and in the hope that things will improve, but I’m also sort of hoping they can’t make it…or don’t want to make it.  I’d rather not worry about who i have to seat seprately, etc.

Post # 10
7606 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I agree with a PP – I would not send her an individual invite but rather include her as a guest on the groomsman’s invite.  That way, it’s up to him.

Post # 11
3267 posts
Sugar bee

You have already invited her.  You have just not followed up with the specific details.  You have told her to reserve the day, and you have to follow up with those details.

But if things are really that tense, it is very likely she will not attend.

Post # 12
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I would still send the invite.. etiquette i guess? lol but like pp’s have said, if they aren’t really together she probably won’t go.

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