Post # 1
Hi bees! Well I THOUGHT the whole “formal invitation to follow” would be all people need to know that, well, RSVPs aren’t expected until formal invitations are sent. But I sent my Save-the-Dates on Saturday and I’m already getting texts from people saying, “Yes! We are coming!” and “Oh sorry we can’t make it we are doing such-and-such that weekend!” Getting texts and not anything else because we haven’t opened electronic RSVP yet, obviously.
I guess it’s the opposite of a problem, honestly, since the other end of the spectrum is not hearing from people at all.
Ultimate question: Should I still send formal invitiations to people who said they won’t be able to make it? My gut says yes, just for completion’s sakes, but I wanted to know what other people would do.
Post # 3
I would still send the formal invite to people who said they won’t make it. It’s better to do that than risk them being offended they didn’t get an invite. Also, what if their plans fall through and they decide they can go after all? I think it’s just safer to send the invites.
Post # 4
I had two declines from my save the date, one was my friend who was best man in another wedding, one was husband’s mum’s friend. When the time came for invites, I checked in with my friend and with husband’s mum, and both confirmed their other plans were still in place. It depends on how close you are to them – if in doubt, ask closer to the date or send the invite.
Post # 5
I would send them an invitation anyway but I think it is nice of them to let you know.
Post # 6
I had a few friends tell me they couldn’t make it after I sent out STDs, but I still sent them an invitation and wrote a little sticky note that said “I know you said you weren’t able to make it, but if your plans change for any reason, we would love to have you!”
Post # 7
I like that idea, thanks! We are getting married during graduation time, so most of the declines were because of high school and college graduations. Not plans that I think would fall through, so adding the sticky note might be nice 🙂
Post # 9
I second (third?) sparkosity :
‘s idea! Definitely still send the invite- some people like to hold on to them as keepsakes!
Post # 10
- Wedding: December 2018 - City, State
I would ignore these rsvps and send invites anyway because alot can change from now to then and you want an accurate representation of attendees. God knows how many will change their mind
Post # 11
This is a completely normal thing. People are excited and people have plans, especially around graduation. We sent out invites to everyone that received a Save the Date, even though a handful told us they couldn’t be there. We received some nice cards and gifts in the mail from those who could not attend.
Post # 12
Similar thing happened to me. I still ended up sending the invites, in case plans changed. Plus, the online RSVP we used allowed personalized invites, so you can mention ‘I know you might not be able to make it, but if you are, we’d love for you to join us.’ And if you have a website, most people like to be included, maybe look at photos, even if it’s just for a minute. I think etiquette actually says no invite for people who say they can’t make it, but who follows that stuff anyway, haha..
Post # 13
Yes! That’s what my mother (who was married in the 90s so honestly…) said. She said it would probably be considered rude to shove the invitation back at them. Maybe seen as a cash grab for a reminder that “we need a giiiiiiiiiiiiiift” and all that stuff.
I see where she is coming from, but I think that if I got a STD and not an invite, I would be hurt, even if I said I couldn’t join. I’d feel a little abandoned.