Post # 1
Hello everyone, I was hoping for some advice as I am beyond stressed. My fiance and I are going to get married in May in California (we live in AZ). We have paid a non-refundable deposit and I do LOVE the location very small and romantic over the beach.
Almost all of our family that we have invited is from MN so most will be traveling. However, I am so stressed planning this wedding. I never really wanted a big wedding and just gave into the pressure from friends and my mom.
We have sent save the dates about a month ago, but the guest list just keeps growing and growing and it just really is not what we want. Fiance and I have been talking and would be much happier keeping our same location but having a very small 12 person wedding of immediate family only with a nice dinner afterwards.
My question is, how do we tell our family out of state that we are cancelling our original plans. I don’t believe anyone has purchased air fare yet and I really want to get the letters out soon so that they don’t waste any money. Honestly, I think they will be relieved to not have to travel so far. I just want to tell them in a loving way that I do care about them but we decided to go a different route.
Am I horrible for doing this after sending STD’s? Any advice or wording would be SO appreciated. Thank you!
Post # 3
We sent the STD’s to family and friends
And planned the day of our dreams
Then life intervened and plans we did amend
An explanation is owed it seems.
We have decided to have an intimate wedding with immediate family only in attendance.
We hope you will still share our joy in your thoughts if not your presence.
Post # 4
@julies1949: This. Exactly this.
Post # 5
@cocobella90: I cancelled my Destination Wedding just 4 months before the actual date. I had already sent out Save-The-Date Cards too.
What we did is we emailed every household and said, “The wedding of X and Y for 7/14/2012 has been cancelled due to a family illness. The couple plans to marry privately at a later date.”
Anyone who did not respond to us via email got a call just so we knew everyone was aware (we only had 25 households though).
We also offered to reimburse anyone who bought plane tickets, but luckily no one bought tickets yet.
Email/calling is fine when you’re at the STD level. But you have to let each person know, don’t let it go through word of mouth.
Post # 6
I think this sounds perfect!
Post # 7
@cocobella90: I was in a similar boat. Save-The-Date Cards sent and 3 months to the wedding when Fiance and I decided to postpone indefinitely. We hated planning a wedding (so much pressure and stress), and now we are planning on eloping sometime in the future.
I made these little cards that said on the front, “Actually, DON’T save the date!” and on the back it said, “We have decided to postpone our <insert date> wedding for the time being. We do not have any new wedding plans yet, but we will let you know as soon as we do!”
Maybe you could do something like that only change the wording a bit? That’s not very specific, I know, but one person advised me to keep it succinct and light-hearted so that people don’t think there’s some big break-up coming or something. Another person told me not to apologize because it can sound clumsy or rambling, but I think that really depends on your style and what message you are sending. Good luck! I hope your wedding is intimate and wonderful. 🙂
Post # 8
I had sent Save-The-Date Cards for my Nov. 24th 2012 wedding. Then a drastic change of our household income came and we had to change the wedding date to 4/13/13. We just contacted our family by phone. They were fine with it and more excited about the new date.
Post # 9
Thank you all so much for your input and help!!
Post # 10
We are doing this!!!! We havent told anybody yet except for our parents since it all just recently happened.