(Closed) Sent STD, now want to elope/immediate family – what to do?!

posted 6 years ago in Elopement
Post # 3
46422 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

We sent the STD’s to family and friends

And planned the day of our dreams

Then life intervened and plans we did amend

An explanation is owed it seems.

We have decided to have an intimate wedding with immediate family only in attendance.

We hope you will still share our joy in your thoughts if not your presence.


Post # 5
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@cocobella90:  I cancelled my Destination Wedding just 4 months before the actual date.  I had already sent out Save-The-Date Cards too.

What we did is we emailed every household and said, “The wedding of X and Y for 7/14/2012 has been cancelled due to a family illness.  The couple plans to marry privately at a later date.”

Anyone who did not respond to us via email got a call just so we knew everyone was aware (we only had 25 households though).

We also offered to reimburse anyone who bought plane tickets, but luckily no one bought tickets yet.

Email/calling is fine when you’re at the STD level.  But you have to let each person know, don’t let it go through word of mouth.

Post # 7
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@cocobella90:  I was in a similar boat.  Save-The-Date Cards sent and 3 months to the wedding when Fiance and I decided to postpone indefinitely.  We hated planning a wedding (so much pressure and stress), and now we are planning on eloping sometime in the future. 

I made these little cards that said on the front, “Actually, DON’T save the date!” and on the back it said, “We have decided to postpone our <insert date> wedding for the time being.  We do not have any new wedding plans yet, but we will let you know as soon as we do!”

Maybe you could do something like that only change the wording a bit?  That’s not very specific, I know, but one person advised me to keep it succinct and light-hearted so that people don’t think there’s some big break-up coming or something.  Another person told me not to apologize because it can sound clumsy or rambling, but I think that really depends on your style and what message you are sending.  Good luck!  I hope your wedding is intimate and wonderful. 🙂

Post # 8
2965 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I had sent Save-The-Date Cards for my Nov. 24th 2012 wedding. Then a drastic change of our household income came and we had to change the wedding date to 4/13/13. We just contacted our family by phone. They were fine with it and more excited about the new date.

Post # 10
2553 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

We are doing this!!!! We havent told anybody yet except for our parents since it all just recently happened.

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