Sentimental about engagement ring yes or no?

posted 2 years ago in Engagement
  • poll: Would you ever change or upgrade your engagement ring?
    No never! It's sentimental to me bc they picked it out themselves :) : (42 votes)
    28 %
    No because we picked it out together and it's exactly what I want! : (52 votes)
    35 %
    Maybe but only if they suggested it not me! : (10 votes)
    7 %
    Yes!! If I'm able to afford to do so or liked something better why not! : (46 votes)
    31 %
  • Post # 76
    Member
    740 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2018

    I was torn for the poll… someday in the future I’d love to add a halo to the ring he picked for me, but I’d never change my center stone. Just reset it into a different style someday, maybe. The center stone is what is sentimemtal to me, not the setting. He did so much research to try to get me the best center stone he could that it means the world to me. 

     

    Edit: my stone isn’t huge and isn’t small, it’s just under a carat. But even though we could afford something bigger, I love it. 

    Post # 77
    Member
    204 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2002

    sweetpea40 :  Are you a Leo? I am and I always want the biggest and the best! I’m not even very materialistic but I’m an extremely visual person. If I’m going to have something I usually know how I want it to look. So, I totally understand your desire to have your ring the way you’ve imagined it. Don’t feel badly about that. Your Fiance is just different. It’s the feeling behind something that’s important to him, not how it looks.

    It sounds like there is a bit of a power struggle going on…welcome to marriage. As partners you’ll have many many opportunities to work through differences. Wait until you have kids! 

    But as uncomfortable as it is, it’s great to start the marriage with honesty. Your wants and desires are equally important to his, but that doesn’t change the fact that he can’t afford to get the diamond that you want. How about a compromise? Tell him it’s always been your dream to have a 1 carat diamond and you’re not sure you can let that dream go. Tell him you understand he’s sentimental and wants you to have a forever symbol of your commitment. So maybe you can commit to picking out the setting together which you are willing to live with always (even if it turn into a RHR, wink) but you’d like the option to upgrade the size of the stone on some equally sentimental occasion however many years form now. For now you’ll be happy with the best cut diamond in a size he can afford. I do think you will be surprised at how much larger a well cut round diamond looks over a poorly cut stone.

    My partner had a really hard time with my desire for the best when we started our relationship. It made him feel like he couldn’t please me and I wasn’t happy with what he could provide. Over the 17 years I’ve mellowed a lot! I haven’t given up my dreams for a 1 carat ACA or a house with an ocean view. They’re a part of who I am and what I want in life but I don’t long for those things at the expense of appreciating all the great things I have. And I really do believe that one day I’ll have those things, not because he gave them to me, but because I gave them to myself.

    I know you like OEC’s. A JYB moissanite OEC in 8 or 9 mm would be quite stunning and I’m sure you’d fall in love with it and enjoy the generous size. They’re very diamond like, and sparkly and also very well cut. Something to consider. Good luck!

    Post # 80
    Member
    113 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2018

    We recently upgraded. I won’t go into details, but my fiance is the one who encouraged it. I wore my old ring for 5 years and we are now planning our dream wedding. He confessed he was not proud of the old ring after seeing it on my hand he realized it wasn’t the right one. It’s not that the diamond was too small, the ring just wasn’t right for my small hands and a more dainty ring fit it better. I think you should agree to a smaller diamond and in a few years I’m betting he will agree to an upgrade or you can save up and upgrade it yourself. At the point he won’t care as much. Right now he probably had his ego hurt as he chose a particular ring out of his love for you and you rejected it. I’m sure he bought what he thought was financially responsible. Maybe do shopping of your own. Look for clearance sales in his price range and suggest one of those. Show you care that he is spending a lot of money on you, but you have preferences on what you will wear on your hand for the rest of your life.

    Post # 81
    Member
    1111 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    If I ever changed my ring, I actually think I would “downgrade” – at least in size. I have a 1.5 carat moissanite and it’s much bigger than most of the rings I see around me, which makes me a little self-conscious sometimes. Shrinkage never set in for me!

    My setting is custom, and my wedding band fits it perfectly, so if I went down to 1 carat, I’d probably have to change everything. The other thing I would change is to see what else is out there for OEC moissanites. Mine is a Forever Brilliant and it looks a little yellow/green/grey in different lights sometimes. 

    My husband wouldn’t care if I changed the ring, I’m sure, since I designed it all myself. He would only object to spending more money on something I don’t need, which I agree with. 

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