Post # 1
I have nothing against getting money as a wedding present, especially if it’s unsolicited and the giver is choosing to give money as a present. I’ll still probably use it to get stuff off my registry.
Here’s the question — and this really rubbed me the wrong way — my Future Mother-In-Law said that she’s giving us each a check as a wedding present. She literally said, "You’re both getting checks. Son, you’ll get a check, FDIL, you’ll get a check." So, as the first thing she does for us an officially married couple is to give us separate monetary gifts. We’ve combined our lives years ago, and once it becomes legal, she’s separating us?
This hasn’t happened yet, so I’m not sure what’s really going on. I want to believe that she just said that thoughtlessly, but I can’t be sure and I can’t convince myself. I’m not too upset, especially as this is still something to come in the future, but I wanted to throw this out there to see how the rest of you would react.
Post # 3
That’s kinda weird. Maybe it’s a family tradition you don’t know about? Or it can be used to offset your personal wedding expenses?
Either way, take those separate cheques and deposit them into your joint account if you want to. No point in making a fuss about it if she’s set on it anyways. 🙂
side note, I wonder if he’ll get more? lol
Post # 4
That was my first thought– maybe she’s doing it this way so she can give him more! What’s your relationship like with FMIL? Do you think she’d do this as a small dig to say that while she’s giving you a wedding gift, you’re less her child than her son is (and thus he’s getting a bigger gift)?
Post # 5
that’s weird…. i wouldn’t be too worried about it, though. people have all kinds of baggage and weird issues about money and marriage. it’s definitely strange, though, you’re not wrong. maybe she has an idea that you each ought to have *some* money separate? i’ve heard that kind of idea from some family members in a more explicit way.
Post # 6
Do y’all have separate accounts still? Maybe she wanted to make sure y’all both got some to spend. My mother does that so that we don’t spend it on bills or boring house stuff.
Post # 7
I don’t know, me and my Fiance split everything down the middle so I would appreciate my Future Mother-In-Law for doing something like that. Either way don’t look too far into it- keep it seperate if you want or put it into a joint account. It’s up to you as to what you do with it
Post # 8
my Future Mother-In-Law does stuff like this all the time. I go back and forth- is she making a point that she doesn’t like me? Does she want us to get things we each like and not use it for boring household stuff? *sigh* I feel your pain!
Post # 9
Hmm, is your Future Mother-In-Law financially sophisticated and the amount may be large? It could have something to do with marital property laws in your state (separate gifts in many states remain separate property, not marital property).
She could also be saying that she wants you each to have some fun money?
Hard to say, and yes, pretty weird. Any other hints in her behaviour?
Post # 10
I defo find it weird. But who knows… maybe thats just her way of giving you each a gift and didn’t even think of it the way you did.
Post # 11
It could be related to taxes – especially if it is a large amount, to make sure they can give you the maximum without incurring additional taxes.
Post # 12
true if it’s more than 12,500 I think, you pay taxes
Post # 13
Hahaha… we’ll see what happens. It was just a weird comment, probably not thought out well at all. She’d previously mentioned getting us a piano. I have a feeling it won’t be a lot of money because she’s already contributing to the wedding. We’ll see what (if anything) happens in the next few weeks.
Post # 14
Kinda weird, but hey…money is money! You’ll probably combine it anyways, so who cares. Maybe she’s trying to emphasize that she’s giving YOU a gift, not you TWO as a couple….I dunno. I wouldn’t read too much into it though
Post # 15
You might be thinking too much into it. Some people get confused as to who to make the check out to so perhaps this is a way to avoid that!
Post # 16
I don’t think it’s that big of a deal. If you are both comfortable with how you deal with your personal finances whether it be together or separate… Just add it to the pile. Maybe she wants him to buy something from "his" registry (like Lowe’s or those manly places) and you from yours 🙂 It is what it is, don’t read too much into it or you could wind up causing a rift between you and Future Mother-In-Law through unspoken actions.