(Closed) Separate checks – am I reading too much into this?

posted 9 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

That’s kinda weird. Maybe it’s a family tradition you don’t know about? Or it can be used to offset your personal wedding expenses?

Either way, take those separate cheques and deposit them into your joint account if you want to. No point in making a fuss about it if she’s set on it anyways. 🙂 

side note, I wonder if he’ll get more? lol 

Post # 4
72 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

That was my first thought– maybe she’s doing it this way so she can give him more!  What’s your relationship like with FMIL?  Do you think she’d do this as a small dig to say that while she’s giving you a wedding gift, you’re less her child than her son is (and thus he’s getting a bigger gift)?

Post # 5
584 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

that’s weird…. i wouldn’t be too worried about it, though. people have all kinds of baggage and weird issues about money and marriage. it’s definitely strange, though, you’re not wrong. maybe she has an idea that you each ought to have *some* money separate? i’ve heard that kind of idea from some family members in a more explicit way.

Post # 6
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Do y’all have separate accounts still? Maybe she wanted to make sure y’all both got some to spend. My mother does that so that we don’t spend it on bills or boring house stuff.

Post # 7
271 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I don’t know, me and my Fiance split everything down the middle so I would appreciate my Future Mother-In-Law for doing something like that. Either way don’t look too far into it- keep it seperate if you want or put it into a joint account. It’s up to you as to what you do with it

Post # 8
2249 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

my Future Mother-In-Law does stuff like this all the time. I go back and forth- is she making a point that she doesn’t like me? Does she want us to get things we each like and not use it for boring household stuff? *sigh* I feel your pain!

Post # 9
2207 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Hmm, is your Future Mother-In-Law financially sophisticated and the amount may be large? It could have something to do with marital property laws in your state (separate gifts in many states remain separate property, not marital property).

She could also be saying that she wants you each to have some fun money?

Hard to say, and yes, pretty weird. Any other hints in her behaviour?

Post # 10
665 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I defo find it weird. But who knows… maybe thats just her way of giving you each a gift and didn’t even think of it the way you did.

Post # 11
372 posts
Helper bee

It could be related to taxes – especially if it is a large amount, to make sure they can give you the maximum without incurring additional taxes.

Post # 12
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

true if it’s more than 12,500 I think, you pay taxes 

Post # 14
14183 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Kinda weird, but hey…money is money! You’ll probably combine it anyways, so who cares. Maybe she’s trying to emphasize that she’s giving YOU a gift, not you TWO as a couple….I dunno. I wouldn’t read too much into it though

Post # 15
278 posts
Helper bee

You might be thinking too much into it.  Some people get confused as to who to make the check out to so perhaps this is a way to avoid that!

Post # 16
15 posts
  • Wedding: April 2010

I don’t think it’s that big of a deal. If you are both comfortable with how you deal with your personal finances whether it be together or separate… Just add it to the pile. Maybe she wants him to buy something from "his" registry (like Lowe’s or those manly places) and you from yours 🙂 It is what it is, don’t read too much into it or you could wind up causing a rift between you and Future Mother-In-Law through unspoken actions.

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