(Closed) Separate legal ceremony – how would you handle it?

posted 6 years ago in Ceremony
  • poll: Which of the following would you add to your low key "signing the paperwork" legal ceremony?
    Nothing! Keep it simple and don't add any fanfare. : (4 votes)
    5 %
    Dress up nicely : (31 votes)
    39 %
    Invite a few close friends/family : (6 votes)
    8 %
    Hire a photographer : (6 votes)
    8 %
    Hold the ceremony in a meaningful location : (5 votes)
    6 %
    Go out for a celabratory meal afterwards : (26 votes)
    33 %
    Other and I'll comment about it : (1 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 3
    3625 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I would just dress nicely (not like a full blown wedding dress, but maybe a cute sundress) so at least it’s not like you are running errands and you fit this in between the grocery store and the hardware store.

    I wouldn’t necessarily invite the whole town to come but if you like, a few close family and friends would be nice too. Then you can go out for a celebratory dinner afterwards. They can snap a few photos. I wouldn’t hire a pro for this event; that seems like overkill since you have a full-blown wedding coming up.

    That’s about all I would do. Otherwise, you definitely will start snowballing into two weddings.


    Post # 4
    1177 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    A lot of photogs do “elopement” packages which are pretty affordable. I would dress up and have some pictures taken, then go out for a nice meal.

    Post # 5
    1106 posts
    Bumble bee

    Doing the paperwork before-hand means that not all venues and/or priests/JOPs will even do a normal ceremony because you are already legally married.  That can cause a lot of problems.  I know it sucks to sign paperwork the day of but having been to many weddings (as a guest and a photographer), it does not really take away from the ceremony.  And, you can even incorporate it in a fun way depending on your theme.  While everyone heads out to cocktail hour or even as they leave the church, that is plenty of time for you to quickly sign the papers.

    Honestly, I don’t think it’s worth it, especially since it sounds like you know it will snowball into a mini-wedding.  If you absolutely MUST, then I would just go with a nice white dress or maybe even your reception dress and then you can go out to a nice dinner after.

    Post # 7
    207 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    We are doing this and it’s hard not to make it meaningful isn’t it? But then you don’t want it to take away from your actual ceremony day. We are planning on dressing up nicely (not bridal wear or anything like that, just like you would on a special occasion) and then going out to a nice restaurant afterwards with our family.

    This will not be our anniversary, however each year I presume we would always remember the date and have a little celebratory toast between the two of us. But the ceremony is the main one and will be our wedding anniversary each year.

    Post # 8
    1784 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I have no idea what we’re going to do.  Someone told me (or I read it somewhere.  Can’t remember) that both of us don’t even need to be physically present to turn in the documents as long as right things are signed and notarized ahead of time.  I’d like it to be a little more special than that at least.

    Post # 9
    7977 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

    How separate do the paperwork and the ceremony have to be? For example, can you do the paperwork the day before? Why do the two events have to be so far apart?

    I ask because I have been to weddings where the legal and religious ceremonies were separate. There are several sets of conditions in which having separate ceremonies could be an advantage; for example, if the couple can’t get a license for a religious wedding (it is harder to get a license for a religious wedding than it is for a non-religious wedding within the UK – there are additional legal constraints). However, I have always seen the two separate ceremonies performed on the same day.

    If you can explain the circumstances more thoroughly, perhaps we could give you better advice?

    Post # 10
    1022 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    dress nice, go to eat.



    Post # 13
    7977 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

    @cbgg:  I think it depends how important the legal aspect of your marriage is to you. Is marriage a legal thing to you, or do you not particularly care if the state recognises it? I would let your attitude towards legality influence your decision. If legal stuff is not important to you at all, I would just turn up in jeans and sign the papers!

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