Post # 1
Bees…I feel like such a loser writing this, but am hoping someone has some advice.
A year ago I was on practicum for school and away from Fiance (then bf) for about 3 weeks. I was waaaay more than homesick…hard to describe but I would just get this “bad” feeling and would cry alot. I did some google searching and came across “adult separation anxiety” (apparently it’s more common in puppies and children…). I have been previously told that I do have anxiety, but nothing’s been done for that.
So…nowadays…when I work when Fiance doesn’t (or vice versa), I get anxious. Not terrible, I can power through it, but I can definitely feel it. Or when I’m already stressed it’s much worse. WELL…ever since I was little, whenever it’s light out later (late spring is especially bad) I get especially anxious. Why? I don’t know. So now Fiance is out for a guy’s night while I’m home sick and I’m on the verge of tears because he’s not here. How retarded is that.
I haven’t told Fiance about this or gone to see anyone because it’s so lame! “Ya…I get upset when I’m away from him.” How old am I, 2!? Sheesh. Has anyone else experienced this and how did you deal with it??
Post # 3
Are you taking any steps for these issues? If you were told you suffer from anxiety why are you not seeking help? I’d recommend checking into some counseling first and foremost. It’s not your fault you feel like this, so don’t be so hard on yourself.
Post # 4
@KatyElle: I was in counselling for other things before but it was useless. Didn’t help at all (ie. techniques to cope, etc.)
Post # 5
Don’t feel lame, I think a lot of people feel like this sometimes!
This summer I was abroad for work for about 10 weeks, and I was really shocked by what a hard time I had being away from my fiance. It was a huge adjustment and I had a really hard time, I was incredibly lonely and depressed the first few weeks. I was so stressed out and had so much anxiety leading up to the trip that I almost backed out despite what a great opportunity it was.
I think you should definitely talk to someone about it, I have and it helped. It helped me realize a lot about how I deal with stress and anxiety, and why I worry so much. When I was younger I had massive separation anxiety from my mom, and now that I’m adult I get that way about my fiance. Recognizing it and talking about it definitely helps. You are not alone!
Now go call a girlfriend who will make you feel better, and then put on a cheesy romantic comedy and enjoy your personal time! I’m sure your emotions are heightened right now too because you are not feeling well.
Post # 6
I have been diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and take Lexapro daily. I know when I decided I ” Just didn’t need it” I would have panic attacks for no reason. I had one once where I was just sitting at work going through email or something and I became really flushed and felt like I was going to pass out and my heart was pounding out of my chest. Lasted about 20min and I have no clue why. I would also get really anxious if I didn’t know where Fiance was or if he didn’t text me right back or something. But, I’m not a jealous or spazy person. So, once I got back on my medss I didn’t have those attacks anymore and don’t spaz about stuff that just isn’t a big deal.
Meds, IMO, are a really good idea for issues like that.
Post # 7
What do you do when he is busy and you are home alone? I find that sitting around by myself when my husband is gone makes it worse. Maybe find a hobby or little activity that you like to do when he isn’t around. That way you have something to look forward to when he is gone. I understand wanting to be together, but not having anything without him isn’t good for a relationship.
Post # 8
@MrsSaltWaterTaffy: Good advice!
I definitely second the idea to try to distract yourself and find something to do for just you. Join a gym, maybe try a zumba class with someone you work with or a friend? Do you like to scrapbook, make crafty stuff, cook, read, etc? Try to find something that you LOVE and pour yourself into it whenever you want/need to.
Also, maybe try journaling when you feel anxious to process through it on paper. Sometimes that helps me figure out what I am feeling/thinking in a very constructive, de-stressing way.
Post # 9
Have you tried a different therapist? Sometimes you just don’t click with one particular person. I had to switch a few times to find the right fit. Please don’t feel bad about feeling this way. It is obviously more than just missing your FI; it is anxiety which is very real. Maybe talk to your Fiance about it and let him know how your are feeling. See if there is something the two of you can work out to help ease this and if that doesn’t work think about returning to therapy.
Post # 10
I totally understand this. I agree with MissAsB – sitting around does not help! If I am home alone I will always put on music so that I dont feel alone in our house. THen I will clean because it is distracting to me and takes a while. Then I will do something productive like cook or bake something or like right now I am working on our wedding album. I’m sorry you feel this way – it is not a fun feeling to have!
Post # 11
i get a lilttle bit of sepration anxiety when im away from so or i when i dont see him often, but i try to control myself becuase i have TOO MUCH PRIDE.
i kno lame but thats Cheesplease for ya ! weirdo
Post # 12
I don’t go through that with my husband thank god but I have anxiety in general sometimes about other things. You just need to go to a counseler and drink some wine or something when he has a guys night out or get some xanax. Xanax is AMAZING and everyone should have a few in the medicine cabinet lol it really calms you down. Try breathing exercises and talk to yourself (tell yourself it’s silly, etc..) and put a movie on.
But most importantly, GO TO A THERAPIST. It’s not gonna go away on its own, you have to deal with this or it will get worse.