(Closed) Seperate bank account or Joint accounts?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 16
366 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Have you ever heard the phrase, “what’s yours is mine and what’s mine is mine too.” 

I’m only half kidding here. Prior to baby and my going back to school, Fiance paid the bills and I bought the groceries. It worked out well since I made much less money.

Currently he pays for everything. The costs for my schooling come from a joint rental property that we own. 

While we have separate accounts, we use each others money (I had some savings) interchangeably. Basically it all goes to the same place and for the same end. When I return to work this will mostly continue. 

Whether or not joint accounts work for you may depend on your spending habits. Neither Fiance nor I are frivilous with our money. So there are no questions or interrogations as to what went where.

My Brother and SIL fight all the time about their joint accounts because my SIL uses it for shopping sprees all the time. 

Post # 17
1059 posts
Bumble bee

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olna:  the point of getting married is to signal a legal and spiritual, binding commitment to the love of your life. 

Got nothing to do with finance if you ask me. 

Post # 18
2704 posts
Sugar bee

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GypsieFlower:  It’s really not hard to do 1 transfer each into a JA and have your bills automatically deducted from it. But as you said in your original post you feel the way you do but respect that others may not. Money is strongly tied to emotions so what seems perfectly logical to you may not to someone else and vice versa.

OP I think if you can both afford to split expenses 50/50 you should. Personally I can’t see why someone who earns more should subsidise your electricity etc but I know some couples where the higher earner pays more, or where there is only one earner paying for everything. It really is different for every body.

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 8 months ago by Beegritte.
Post # 19
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

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christabel:  yeah of course i was just wondering about the money guilt and stuff. 

I kike simplifing things so one account made that easier for us 🙂

Post # 20
1752 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

We don’t put all of our money in one account, nor do we transfer money back and forth. Our system is very simple, having seperate accounts does not have to be complicated. We both contribute the same amount to our joint account (I used to earn more, now he does, but we still deposit the same amount). The joint account is where our mortgage, household bills, and car insurance are deducted from. Most of our bills are on auto-pay so very low maintenance account management. The rest of our pay checks are direct deposited to our individual accounts. I’m changing careers so we will likely adjust our amounts that we respectively contribute to the joint account, but the joint household account and seperate accounts for our remaining income works for us. I don’t want to have to check with him or vice Versa before spending due to everything being dumped in one pot, nor do I want judgement for what I choose to spend play money on lol.

Post # 21
35 posts

Joint savings account. ..bills have it’s own account, and lastly, separate spending accounts (it’s still a joint account but he uses one while i use the other) just so we dont overdraft and can keep track of what we swiped our card on. That way,  there’s no need to figure out who’s paying what for bills.

Post # 22
7 posts

We have separate accounts but I have access to his money  because I’m better at managing our money.

He’s responsible for 100% of the household expenses, per our traditional and religious upbringing. I am allowed to contribute, but he makes more than enough for us, so I keep my money separately and put some away in savings and investments. So his money is my money and my money is my money 🙂


Post # 23
1388 posts
Bumble bee

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futuremcm:  We currently earn within a few thousand of each other – so with it all going into a joint account we will just both have the same amount. As I said in my first post that is what will work easiest to get us used to living off one income as well. Again, it’s totally up to the couple but I think it is important to have your own ‘fun money’ and not have to justify your guilty spending pleasures.

Post # 24
737 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

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olna:  What do you mean “it feels like a business relationship so whats the point of being married?”

What does joint vs separate accounts have to do with the marriage? The marriage is about the relationship and you and your future husband. The finances are just a decision on how to deal with money between the two of you.

My husband and I have separate accounts. My money is my money and his is his. We both have very different incomes and very different bills (I have a ton of student loans and he doesn’t). We both have expensive hobbies and like expensive toys. For us it just makes more sense to keep our finances separate.

But neither of us “pinch pennies” and we help out the other when we need to. For example, right now he pays the mortgage and the bills because I still make only a fraction of my potential income (medical fellowship), but in a couple years when I’m making my full income I’ll contribute to half the household bills. Then when he retires in 3 years (military)  his income will be more fluctuant because he’ll own his own business I’ll probably pay the majority of the household bills. We both pay for meals and groceries – we don’t get nitpicky about exactly how much each person is paying or worry about how “even” it is.

We’re both spenders and its easier to just spend our own money on our toys and hobbies and not have to worry how it might affect a purchase the other is planning to make.

It works for us, its not for everyone. 

Post # 25
756 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

We each have our own personal checking account, and we have one joint savings account which we put somewhat equal $$ into each month (I’m in sales so it varies based on commission). This is our emergency stuff/house savings fund, and we don’t take $$ out unless necessary.

If my husband wants to spend $120 on a round of golf, he can use his money from his personal account, just like I can use my money in my personal account when I hit up Nordstrom Rack.

Every 2 months or so, we pick a weeknight and crack a bottle of wine, curl up on the couch & log on to each of our banking sites together to look through statements to get a general sense of where our money is going, where we need to cut back, etc. It lets us have our own financial freedom while still having visibility into each other’s spending – we don’t judge each other, it just keeps us in check. It’s been working well for several years.


Post # 26
8674 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

my SO and I plan on combining finances, but each having a seperate checking account we get $x/month allowence.  That way we can buy each other, or ourselves, gifts and indulgences without having to justify to each other.

Post # 27
10 posts
  • Wedding: February 2015

It really between each individual couple, what work out for one couple might not work out for other couples.. So sit down and talk to your Fiance, I know two couples who have husband that make way more and the husbands pay more of the Bills because their income is like double their wife.

My husband make more income than me. He always offer to pay more but I say No, I don’t let him. I insist the 50/50 evenly split, and I give him the look that he is not listening to me his wife, Lol!.. He doesn’t want to get me mad, so he be like okay, alright, baby anything you want. And go along with what I want so I can be happy, poor guy.

Right now we trying to save up money as fast as we can for a house, so he works 2 jobs. He works for a local Truck company and he works at the Warehouse… I only have 1 job. I work at Retail/Sales (Shoe department) so Split Bills evenlly, it actually more unfair to me because my income is Less than his income. But I don’t mind, he is my husband not a stranger.

Both me and my husband live in bad area neighborhood so the rent is cheap, cheap rent helps alot. Regarding Rent/Mortgage; I pay one month, he pay next month. All Bills are evenly split between us. Pretty much his money is his, I don’t touch it… BUT I do remind him to be responsible for his $$ and save it for rainy days/Emergency use; he very responsible with his money.

For us, we have “Separate” Checking/Saving accounts. In defense of my husband, keeping “Separate” accounts was MY insist. I don’t like drama. I don’t want to argue over money, so the best way for me is to keep it “Separate”… We know each others 4 years already, and we NEVER once had an argument over money, so it works!

Note: The above works for me and my husband only… I can’t speak for other couples, because everyone relationship and circumstances is different. So Ms. OP talk to your Fiance, get to a middle ground where you BOTH happy and agree on how to handle Financial. Always, always get this talk done before married.


No offense but I personally do not, DO NOT agree with one Bee theory saying: “His money is my money, and my money is my money” —- That is very very selfish thinking.. If you see how hard your husband works to get pay, then you will not have the heart to say something like that.. Perhaps that one Bee married a rich rich man, lol

I can’t speak for others, but I speak for myself. I do not tollerate this kind of attitude in ‘my’ marriage… My husband works hard for his paycheck, both of his jobs are labor physical work. Everyday he Loading/Unloading, lifting, carrying heavy stuff. Physically he is tired from his jobs, his money doesn’t come easy. His paycheck come from his own sweats.. He doesn’t mind that his wife touch his money, but I refused. His money will always be his, I ‘choose’ not to touch his $$

I’m poor, I’m a college dropped out, I only have a High school degree. I live in a bad area neigborhood, my job doesn’t make much. But I have nothing to be ashamed of myself because I am Financially independent. My theory is very simple: I spend what I myself make. I make less, I spend less.

Post # 28
111 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015





My Fiance is totally against joint accounts! He earns more than me and we split the bills equally, pay half each for holidays etc but he pays when we go for dinner, grocery shopping, etc!

Post # 29
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Both.  We’re older Bees so our banking ways were pretty well established by the time we got together.  We’ve had a joint account forever, we originally opened it when we bought investment property together.  And we both maintain our own personal accounts.

Dh has most of the bill paying set up online, so bill paying is his job right now.

It all works for us.  Just keep an eye on what you’re spending each month on service charges when you have multiple accounts.

Post # 30
121 posts
Blushing bee

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smarie314:  This is so interesting to me.  Since you and your Fiance treat your money interchangeably what benefits do you find from keeping separate accounts?  Sounds like mentally your money is joint but physically separate. 

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