Post # 46
We’re going to open a joint account, where we’ll each deposit a set amount per month for bills and other joint expenses. The rest will remain in our separate accounts to do with what we please. I wouldn’t be comfortable pooling all our money together.
Post # 47
I kind of see the OPs point. If one partner is definitely the breadwinner then it seems unfair for them to be living 2 different lifestyles.
When Fiance and I started dating we were both dirt poor. Since then he has landed a very good job while I have continued making about the same. We are just about to go joint next month. We’re not getting married for almost another year but my Fiance makes a LOT more than me (his take home more than quadruple my income before taxes). He has been paying most of the bills for months and months and it just feels odd to both of us for him to be living a very comfortable lifestyle while I’m struggling.
It’s awkward for both of us that I can never go do anything fun with him unless he offers to pay (which he always does) while I’m really poor. It creates situations that feel out of balance. I’m still not sure I’ll ever feel comfortable spending his money, but hopefully that while change once we’re married. At this point I think that watching me constantly stress about money is too uncomfortable for him.
Post # 48
My husband and I have exactly the same salary and we split every expenses as well, just like you two.
We have separate accounts. It was my request. He is very good with money, but I feel that since I make my own money, I like to know how much I have and what I can do with it. For example, I am planning to take a few months off without pay (of course, I will keep paying half of all the bills). Knowing that, I can start saving (less bought lunches, less coffees, less night out with the girls, etc). My husband is not planning to take time off, so he can still enjoy his money as he sees fit (as long as he pays half of everything lol).
So for me, it is a valid choice to have separate accounts, and I don’t see it as a lack of trust or anything, just that I can pay for some things that my husband is less interested in, and vice versa. I would not change it for the world.
Hope you figure out a way that will make you feel comfortable!
Post # 49
In your situation, yes, I would say it is better to have a joint account. My husband and I make the same salary, so it is easier to have separate accounts. But think of it this way: If you were making four time his salary, you would be happy to pay some things for him, right? I’m sure he is more than happy to do it for you 🙂
Post # 50
We will have joint accounts.
We make very similar salaries at the moment, but there will come a time when I will likely make over double what he does. Every cent I make, I view as ours. He is better with cooking, cleaning, etc so I view our partnership as very equal. I obviously still help with cleaning- otherwise dust would cover every inch of our condo.
Luckily, we are very like-minded financially. Neither of us have expensive hobbies or severe shopping addictions.
I’m more crazy about saving than he is, but I would never expect anyone to save to the extent that I do. We aren’t married right now, but as long as he pays all of his bills, saves for retirement and puts something in investments every month, spend as you please.
Post # 51
My SO and I were just talking about this/planning for this. I think it’s important that every couple take a look at what works for THEM because it’s not going to be the same across the board. I work full time and have great benefits. My SO works for himself and has tax breaks related to that. I make about 40% more than him, but his income is likely to increase over the next few years while I will likely get smallish merit and COLA raises.
What we came up with:
- Monthly contribution to joint checking to cover mortgage, property taxes, utilities, and incidentals (amounts proportional to income)
- He will cover phones (business write off)
- I will buy groceries
- He usually pays for dinners out (often we take his clients out, and when we don’t we usually talk about business so this is a tax write-off for him)
- I will cover health insurance for both of us once we are married and the first portion of each year’s health insurance expenses because my employer reimburses this
- I will likely buy clothing for both of us because if left up to him he will have holes in his socks and underwear…
- I will max out my retirement every year. He will contribute whatever he can to his.
- My student loans are my responsibility until we are married. After that, we’ll make a joint effort to pay them down as quickly as possible.
- He works in finance, so long term planning will be his job. I anticipate this will be hard for me to give up, as I have been aggressive and active in my own planning/management for the last 10 years.
Post # 52
We have separate accounts (but both our names are on all the accounts in case one of gets sick or hurt and we need to have access). When we both had steady work (I work freelance now), we sort of split it so he paid more, since he made more. But I took care of the groceries and stuff.
So we would both pay half of the rent/mortgage. But, for example, he would pay for electricity, gas, water, his student loans, cable/internet. I paid for the cell phones and my student loans. It just made sense.
I found that couples that have joint accounts to pay for joint bills tend to fight more over money since you have to be in continual communication about what you’ve spent. Every time you go to the grocery store you have to let your DH know. He has to tell you when he goes out to lunch. Ugh–just too much administrative hassle
Post # 53
Not married yet but we’ve discussed what will work for us. Both of us grew up with parents who had completely combined money with the “it’s our money” mentality so this felt natural for both of us.
We have a very ambitious plan and the idea came from the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University class we just graduated from. We want to as close to pay cash for a house as we can when we buy. I say as close to because the plan is to buy a house before babies. We want to be married for about 2-3 years before we have kids so that will be crunch time for us. Our plan is to live off as little as possible for those years. Ideally, we will live off of just his income (or maybe less if possible) and put my income straight to saving for a house for those 2-3 years. We can have a REALLY good chunk of a house paid off…maybe even fully paid for if we can stick to this.
After we purchase a house I think we will probably keep our one joint savings and one joint checking accounts…but then add a personal account for each of us to put a couple hundred into each month for our own “fun money” that we don’t need justification with eachother for spending.
Post # 54
I replied earlier but I want to add, regarding our separate account system: If we had a joint account I think it would cause some bickering not regarding spending habits but regarding banking habits. For example I don’t have direct deposit and I can be very lazy about going to the bank to deposit checks. I will let my balance dip pretty low before finally going & depositing my last 9 checks from work. That is something that would drive my husband completely BONKERS. For us it is best to avoid subjecting each other to each of our our personal banking habits.
Post # 55
We have joint accounts. My DH makes more money than I do. He pays all the bills and keeps tabs on our finances. I look at our bank accounts ever so often to check in and know what our money situation looks like.
I never ask DH if I could buy something or vice versa just because it’s all one bank account– unless it’s a very large purchase and we make those decisions together.
It would be too complicated if we split our finances up, this is just easier for us. We have credit cards we pay in full every month– one card we just put gas on, one just for groceries so we get an idea of how much we spend in those areas. Plus we get rewards points doing it that way lol.
DH and I never communicate every dollar we spend to each other. It’s obvious that he’s going to buy lunch at work, and that groceries are to be bought every week. We can both log in to our bank account and see what’s going on in there without having to call and say “honey, i’m putting $100 on the account for groceries”. What do you say to that anyway? Seriously, groceries again?!! LOL.
I would actually think we would argue more if we split our finances. I make less than DH. I might be envious that he could spend more on himself bc I have less money in my account, no? Or him saying, honey, will you have enough money to contribue to our mortgage if you buy those clothes next month?
But everyone finds their comfort zone, no way is right or wrong!
Post # 56
We never argue about our joint account expenses. We keep a buffer in the checking account, and if we’re making a big purchase we’ll discuss it with each other first. Online banking is updated within minutes if we really need to see the EXACT amount in our account, which is like…never.
I personally can’t imagine splitting grocery costs, electric bills, insurance, etc piece by piece with my HUSBAND. That to me seems like a crazy amount of unnecessary work when all our money is “ours” anyway.
Post # 57
We have a joint account where all our income has gone since the wedding day. He has multiple other accounts with his pre-marital assets that I don’t have access to, and I have my own savings that he doesn’t have access to as well. All our bills get paid from the joint.
We initially were going to have a set “fun” money each month but we haven’t done that. We both just buy whatever we want but discuss something expensive first. We have separate credit cards and just pay them out of joint each month.
Post # 58
We’re not married yet so right now we still have separate accounts, although we very fluidly transfer money between us. Once we’re married, all of our money will go into joint chequing/savings accounts and we’ll each transfer the same amount of “fun money” into our own accounts depending on what the situation is each month. We’ve agreed that money is what we’ll use for anything that’s not a necessity – namely her daily Starbucks trips and my obsession with kitchen gadgets. That way all the bills, savings, etc. are taken care of before either of us is spending for fun… And we can still surprise each other on holidays 🙂
Post # 59
We aren’t married just yet, but our plan is to keep our separate checking/savings accounts, and then we will add a joint checking and savings account for family and household things.
Our incomes are similar, but he makes just slightly more right now so things are more or less even. We don’t really see our money as separate even if they are in differen’t accounts. Where it comes from isn’t important.
But if the differences in our income grows, this is the guideline we plan on following using even round numbers…
- Say your combined household income is $100,000. He makes $60,000 and I make $40,000. So he provides 60% of the income and I provide the remaining 40%.
- We will figure out how much we need to contribute to our checking account each month to cover bills and normal expenses like groceries.
- Then we will determine how much money we want to put into our family savings account each month.
- After we reach that total, let’s just call it $2,000 a month. He will contribute 60% of that and I will contribute 40% of that ($1,200 for him and $800 for me).
This way we are both left with disposable income for our personal accounts for gifts, shopping, etc. If we ever want to make additional contributions to the family account for a vacation or big purchase we can. And with online banking we can always adjust the amount that goes into the different accounts each month if our incomes adjust.
Post # 60
We have joint everything! Bank account, savings account, credit card accounts..both our names are on all our bills and our lease. We are married, therefore we are a team. Roommates split things, husband and wife don’t!