Post # 1
My husband and I have been seperated for about three weeks now. At first I was coping just fine, but I am now really starting to struggle.
I saw him for the first time since I moved out on Sunday. He asked to get together for lunch and talk. At first we just chit chatted but then we started to talk about the things that went wrong (i.e his steriod use/emotional abuse and my cheating). We were both in tears and he said that although he has forgiven me and misses me we can’t be together.
I know this is the right thing. I was so so unhappy for a long time. He wasn’t treating me right and in turn I didnt treat him right.
I am just not used to being alone. We have been together since I was 14, I am about to turn 22 in the next week. For all those years we spent every birthday, every holiday together. I have all these things coming up.. my birthday, christmas, NYE and I have no idea what to do without him. My office also closes down for a period and I don’t know what to do- sit at home alone and cry?
I don’t want to keep bothering my friends, especially around the holidays but at the same time I am having problems being alone.
I have been meeting new friends via on online website so far i’ve met two people and they seem really nice but i’m not in the best place right now to be my usual happy/bubbly self.
I feel so tempted to crawl back to my husband, begging him to take me back even though I know in my heart we shouldn’t be together.
I also have these fears that I will never find anyone again, that no one will ever love me or accept me.. I just feel miserable.
.. Has anyone been through this before? I could really use some advice/support 🙁
Post # 3
You are very young, time heals most wounds. It took me quite a while to get over my first love. But then, I did…….. Definitely go out and meet people. Even if it’s not to meet “the one”. It is experience you need to have to get on.
Post # 4
I’ve never been through this before, but it sounds like the marriage is ending for good reasons. I know it’s probably really difficult, but I’m sure you’re tough and will get through it. I also think you’ll meet someone and someday you’ll look back and be glad this happened.
Post # 5
I’m sorry this is so hard for you, but I agree that it happened for a reason. It must be difficult to know you guys are beyond repair, but it’s probably for the best that you just make a clean break and not do the on-again off-again thing.
I can imagine it’s very difficult to be experiencing being “alone” for the first time, but you’re not really alone. Your friends won’t be bothered by you, you’d do the same for them. In fact, they’re probably just so happy to see you single and healthy.
Good for you for not going back to what is comfortable, because it is not healthy. You two are doing the smart thing. You will find love again and this time you won’t be taken advantage of by an abuser. Post whenever you need to, you have support here 🙂
Post # 6
I give you SO much credit for knowing in your heart that it’s not right and NOT going back to an unhealthy relationship just because you’re lonely. It is EXTREMELY scary to be on your own again, and I think that’s the reason so many people stay in terrible relationships. I too, was with an emotionally abusive ex. We were college sweethearts, and it was sad and scary to be apart and leaving the person that I was with every day/experienced so much with, etc. But eventually, we both accepted that we were not right for each other. If he’s emotionally abusive, he has severe issues that he has to deal with and overcome. And if you cheated on him, it seems that he didn’t bring out the best in you.
So here’s my advice, from someone who can relate. You’re 22, you should be focusing on yourself right now. Heal. Do what you love. Enjoy time with your friends. In time, you WILL find someone new who is GOOD to you, who will bring out the best in you. I promise.
I think you are very wise, and mature to realize that IF you did go back, you would be going for the wrong reasons. I think you know that it’s not right and you shouldn’t go back. Stay strong. I PROMISE it gets easier. You will move on, and you will find someone wonderful who will cherish you.
Post # 7
aw, its hard when youve been together for so long and did a lot of growing up together. Im also glad to hear you know its not meant to be. It gets SO much easier with time.
Post # 8
Good for you for knowing its not meant to be – I’m sure this is a tough time for you.
Now’s the time to heal and get busy busy busy! I understand not wanting to bug your friends, but see them as often as possible, sign up for all kinds of classes – dancing, art, cooking, books? Whatever seems interesting to you. Don’t even think about meeting new men for dating (which you will, don’t you worry about that) – but maybe you’ll meet some really interesting new chicks and dudes who will expand your circle of friends?
Stay strong, it’s going to be hard but you WILL get through this!