(Closed) Seperated and suffering :'(

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1229 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

You are very young, time heals most wounds.  It took me quite a while to get over my first love.  But then, I did…….. Definitely go out and meet people.  Even if it’s not to meet “the one”.  It is experience you need to have to get on. 

Post # 4
Member
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I’ve never been through this before, but it sounds like the marriage is ending for good reasons. I know it’s probably really difficult, but I’m sure you’re tough and will get through it. I also think you’ll meet someone and someday you’ll look back and be glad this happened.

Post # 5
Member
1109 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m sorry this is so hard for you, but I agree that it happened for a reason. It must be difficult to know you guys are beyond repair, but it’s probably for the best that you just make a clean break and not do the on-again off-again thing.

I can imagine it’s very difficult to be experiencing being “alone” for the first time, but you’re not really alone. Your friends won’t be bothered by you, you’d do the same for them. In fact, they’re probably just so happy to see you single and healthy.

Good for you for not going back to what is comfortable, because it is not healthy. You two are doing the smart thing. You will find love again and this time you won’t be taken advantage of by an abuser. Post whenever you need to, you have support here 🙂

Post # 6
Member
324 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I give you SO much credit for knowing in your heart that it’s not right and NOT going back to an unhealthy relationship just because you’re lonely. It is EXTREMELY scary to be on your own again, and I think that’s the reason so many people stay in terrible relationships. I too, was with an emotionally abusive ex. We were college sweethearts, and it was sad and scary to be apart and leaving the person that I was with every day/experienced so much with, etc. But eventually, we both accepted that we were not right for each other. If he’s emotionally abusive, he has severe issues that he has to deal with and overcome. And if you cheated on him, it seems that he didn’t bring out the best in you. 

So here’s my advice, from someone who can relate. You’re 22, you should be focusing on yourself right now. Heal. Do what you love. Enjoy time with your friends. In time, you WILL find someone new who is GOOD to you, who will bring out the best in you. I promise.

I think you are very wise, and mature to realize that IF you did go back, you would be going for the wrong reasons. I think you know that it’s not right and you shouldn’t go back. Stay strong. I PROMISE it gets easier. You will move on, and you will find someone wonderful who will cherish you.

Good luck!

 

Post # 7
Member
1697 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

aw, its hard when youve been together for so long and did a lot of growing up together. Im also glad to hear you know its not meant to be. It gets SO much easier with time.

Post # 8
Member
4884 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Good for you for knowing its not meant to be – I’m sure this is a tough time for you.

Now’s the time to heal and get busy busy busy!  I understand not wanting to bug your friends, but see them as often as possible, sign up for all kinds of classes – dancing, art, cooking, books?  Whatever seems interesting to you.  Don’t even think about meeting new men for dating (which you will, don’t you worry about that) – but maybe you’ll meet some really interesting new chicks and dudes who will expand your circle of friends?

Stay strong, it’s going to be hard but you WILL get through this!

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