Post # 1
My fiance and I set September 11th as our wedding date. We are about to get married in 6 months.
I was talking to my coworker’s girlfriend and I got the feeling that she thought I was crazy and I think she was also offended by me choosing that date. Now, I do not know her that well; only hi and goodbye couple of times.
I came from overseas and I got here a week after September 11th had happened, so I am not oblivious to it. Believe me. I put a lot of thoughts into choosing this date.
I chose this date because of my family beliefs (mine is Chinese and we believe in auspicious date). With the wedding getting closer, this issue seems to be getting bigger.
I am trying to make something good out of that date and hopefully not stepping on anybody’s toes. We will have a rememberance and offer prayers during mass (we are Catholics).
What should I do when I get this kind of treatment again? I feel like not answering when someone asked me when my wedding date is. Usually people are giving me the “Umm… that’s cool…” answer and let it go.
I feel bummed now.
Thanks for letting me pour my heart out.
Post # 3
I wouldn’t let you get it down – explain your reasons.
Life must go on. My brother’s 13th birthday was September 11, 2001. It was a horrible birthday for him. If we just shut down and never let any happy occasions fall on 9/11, then my brother would never be able to have another birthday.
FWIW, I don’t think you’re doing anything wrong.
Post # 4
We got married September 11th last year. Here’s my two cents on it: It’s the perfect day to spend time with the people you love and not take it for granted. Yes, you are going to get a MILLION comments and they will be obnoxious and freaking annoying. After a while when people would say something like “Oh wow! That’s quite a date!” I would just say “Yes I know, it’s coming up so soon isn’t it?!” and blow them off. Every now and then if someone really got under my skin I would give them what for, but I found that purposefully misinterpretting what they were saying worked best.
Just do what you want to do. Ignore the naysayers 🙂 It’s a day in history. Something bad has happened on every day of the year, not only that one. It’s tragic and horrible, but it doesn’t mean that we all have to stop everything, we have to keep on living life.
Post # 5
- Wedding: August 2011 - St. Joseph's Parish, Seattle Tennis Club
I honestly don’t understand why people seem to have such an issue with this as a wedding date. I realize that this was a horrific national tragedy, and should be treated with respect, but at the same time, life goes on. Weddings will happen on that date. Births will happen on that date. Deaths will happen on that date. New beginnings, new endings.
It sounds to me like you’re doing a good job of acknowledging the events that took place in 2001 by including the remembrance and the prayers during the ceremony.
Don’t let people get you down about this; follow bakerella’s advice and keep your chin up about it.
Post # 6
I think having a wedding on this date is a beautiful thing! Something ugly has happened in the past on this date and now something great will!
Post # 7
At the risk of sounding dramatic. . . . if we cease planning all celebratory events on that day, the terrorists win.
Post # 8
I got married on September 11th last year.
I really don’t see the issue. Why not have a celebration of love on a day that otherwise would only be known for sadness? People get married on D-day, Pearl Harbor, etc etc. Every day has something bad that happened on it. Does it stop us from moving on with our lives? No.
It’s just another day.
Post # 9
Thanks so much for the advice. I felt much better after reading your postings.
Knowing that there are people out there who has the same opinion/ thinking as I am, is really a great great relief.
@bakerella: I will totally try your trick 🙂
Thanks again, bees.
Post # 10
I totally agree with @crayfish. People get married on other days that had horrid tragedies and nobody makes a fuss. My nephew’s birthday is Sept. 11th and I would hate to think of anyone telling him not to celebrate on that day.
Next time someone makes a remark maybe be prepared with some other dates like Pearl Harbor and D Day and say, “well people get married on those dates and it’s not a scandal and I’m sure when I’m celebrating my 50th wedding anniversary on 9/11/61, no one’s going to really give a rat’s bottom that it’s another anniversary as well.” You can always also retort “it’s not like I’m throwing a party with any relation to what happened… I’m making a promise to love someone and become their partner.” If anything, that’s a great way to grow from the tragedy that occurred.