September 2019 POAS

posted 3 months ago in TTC
Post # 571
Member
684 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

browneyedgirl24 :  Blerg, so sorry about AF! I’m only on my second cycle, but I had really similar feelings- I had worked so hard to track everything and our timing was awesome and I just really thought it might work on the first shot. Hoping for an Oct BFP for you!

Post # 572
Member
310 posts
Helper bee

caitlinbee :  It’s so hard to be patient! It depends on the doctor though, if they will test, and whether you or your husband have any underlying health issues. My Darling Husband is 35 as well and he got a SA about 8 months in. He has diabetes, which may have made his doc more willing to test. But a SA is easy and not expensive to do; my doctor said that’s usually the first step, before testing the woman. She ordered tests for me the following month, when the SA came back with good results. I got them done this past weekend, just past the 10 month mark TTC. I’m 31. The requisition forms were for CD3 and 21 hormone levels, as well as routine tests (thyroid, blood sugar, etc.) and immunology to get a complete picture. I had one ultrasound already (normal) and will get another for antral count. FX you don’t need any of this and you get your BFP soon! Testing can be good if there is something going on so you can get treatment right away. Since you are close to 35 I think it wouldn’t hurt to mention it to your doctor, for sure! Getting normal test results back can be reassuring but also frustrating that there’s nothing wrong but still no baby. If you would consider something like IVF right away if you do need help, then getting started with testing could be good so you can get a referral to a RE as soon as possible. We’re hoping to try on our own longer and/or with meds before going for something more intensive like IUI or IVF. 

Post # 573
Member
684 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Ok friends, I need your stories. How do you let your partner know it’s game time? Do you just tell him when you see EWCM or get a positive OPK? My husband and I are very open with eachother but I feel sort of like I’m nagging him when I tell him “ok, I got a blinking smiley so make some time later.” It’s weird, we both initiate sex pretty equally usually but so far I feel like it’s totally up to me during my FW, and that just feels kind of awkward. I know this process isn’t always sexy but it feels so weird to be wanting sex for another reason than just “you’re hot and I want you.” We do have a joined calendar app and I’m thinking about just adding my ovulation test results in it so he can have it on his mind throughout the day and then sex can feel more natural when we both have a minute and less like I’m announcing “fornication time”. I don’t know… Should I just get over it and just be blunt? My anxiety (clinical and otherwise) is high today. Any thoughts are much appreciated!   

Post # 574
Member
684 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

stellate23 :  ohhh that would stress me out too!! Hopefully you’ll get a wonderful surprise when you return home from the retreat!

Post # 575
Member
2513 posts
Sugar bee

Jazzylove :  Aww thank you! Wishing you baby dust as well. 

It’s funny, I promised myself I wouldn’t get my hopes up and I was gonna be so chill during the TTC process, but that went out the window immediately. It’s hard not to get your hopes up even when you rationally know there’s only a ~20% chance even under the best conditions. But there’s always next month! 

Post # 576
Member
6372 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Jazzylove :  I don’t know if there’s a good answer for that.  Whatever works for you guys. You could talk to him about what he would prefer.  Sometimes I tell my husband days in advance, sometimes I just try to initiate without saying anything, and sometimes I just send him texts earlier in the day like, “hey, wanna get busy later? ;)”  My husband has a super low sex drive due to his anxiety medication.  I’ve begged him to initiate more this time around TTC, because it honestly made the 9 cycles for TTC so much harder on me… especially because he also turns me down a lot, but there’s no progress with that.  I’ve done things like bought special bubble baths with aphrodisiac scents, and candles, massage oils, etc.  I try to keep it interesting, but it’s really hard.

Post # 577
Member
327 posts
Helper bee

browneyedgirl24 :  girl I am the same way! Totally thought I would be relaxed, but nope.  I totally was like, we’re going to just NTNP and see what happens for the first few months but that chill is totally gone! It doesn’t help that my husband isn’t thrilled over the idea of having a baby with a birthday close to Thanksgiving/Christmas, so I know he won’t be as into TTC come Feb/March… annoying, but I told him I’m ok with it but only in the first year of trying. I really want to get pregnant before then, so trying to be as familiar with my cycle as possible. I’ve already bought OPK strips and I used my first one this AM! Also waiting for my BBT thermometer to come in from Amazon today. Who knows, I may ovulate later in my cycle so I’m keeping my hopes up that I might still have a shot for this month depending on how ovulation aligns with my vacation. If not, I’ll be prepared for October! 🙂 Also trying to work out/eat right to prepare my body. I hope that October will be your month girl!!

P.S. thank you to those who shared their tips on temping 🙂 I appreciate it!

Has anyone come across any good reading material for TTC? I read Taking Charge of Your Fertility which was pretty informative. Someone recently recommended The Babydust Method, which I bought on Kindle, but it turns out it’s all about sex selection lol soooo not really what I expected given I would be thrilled with a boy or a girl. Still an interesting read though

Post # 578
Member
2229 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

Jazzylove :  do you two go to bed at the same time?  My husband is *very* open to the slightest bit of initiation from me no matter how tired he might have been a minute earlier, lol.  So when it was go time, I’d make sure to go to bed naked and start touching and kissing him, and that did the trick.  I wanted to avoid the “It’s our scheduled time to have sex so we can make a baby” thing as much as possible. (Obviously this advice only works if your husband has a relatively high sex drive and doesn’t need advance notice.)  Good luck!

Post # 579
Member
684 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

KittyYogi :  That is such a good point! I think the fact that we often don’t go to bed at the same time because he works late often is part of what is taking away the natural flow of things. I love having sex in the morning/daytime, but he defnitley prefers night, so I’m trying to stay awake for him to come home because that’s when he’ll naturally be in the mood, but then I find myself really tired and a little frustrated that I’m waiting naked in the bed at 1:30 am to have sex when I need to be up in the morning! lol. He often will initiate sex in the middle of the night while half asleep which I usually turn down, but I told him during the FW he can wake me up as often as he wants! lol. 

Post # 580
Member
2229 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

Jazzylove :  yeah that is tough when your schedules are different! My exH and I were that way.  Who’s got time to stay up to 1:30 though?! 

Post # 581
Member
684 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

SeaOfLove :  Good call. I’m going to chat with him tonight about what he would prefer. It is so tough for us all that no matter how supportive and loving you partner is, a lot of the thinking/planning about this really falls on the woman. xoxo

Post # 582
Member
680 posts
Busy bee

Jazzylove :  I honestly didn’t ever tell him but would just initiate myself. Since you share a calendar you could even just put a winky face in there to peak his interest. Or you could be bold and text him “super into a middle of the night wake up from you”. I would likely do the latter since your schedules are different and then the next day I would wake him up with sex. Two BDs no real “hey. I’m ovulating and we have to now sooo” 

Post # 583
Member
6372 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Jazzylove :  It’s so true! After my CP, Darling Husband and I had a conversation about TTC again. We were planning on seriously TTC again this month anyways, but I did ask him to initiate more this time around. He asked me not to be so depressed when AF shows, which happened often last time… But I don’t think he realized everything I did to TTC for those 9 cycles between all the temping, charting, and OPKs, but also finding ways to make him want to BD while also not knowing when I’ll get turned down… Plus helping him through all his med changes and withdrawals/navigating his anxiety, and the symptom spotting for AF to show… it was exhausting 😩

I basically told him, “well, that was the goal with NTNP… So we don’t get burned out so quickly… But we just had a loss, so I really can’t guarantee anything. If anything, I think this makes it worse than last time.” 

Post # 584
Member
6372 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

I think I’m finally getting fertile CM!!! 😭🥳🥳🥳 Let the BDing commence!

Post # 585
Member
5564 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

SeaOfLove :  I just told him. It wasn’t very sexy but I was like… so if we want to get pregnant this cycle, we need to start every other day. Then when I finally had a positive opk, I told him that tonight is probably THE most important day. He turned me down once though, that was a bit hard but I was able to keep my anxiousness about it at bay, I don’t want to stress him out. Our libidos are pretty low so fertile window bd is a lot for us

Leave a comment


Find Amazing Vendors