- 11 years ago
- Wedding: October 2011
Warning: really long post, but please bear with me because I need help and my dress drama is making me depressed and stressed 🙁
As a preface, I’m embarrassed to be in this situation because I never thought I was the kind of girl who would freak out over the dress. There were/are so many other things that are more important to me (like I don’t know…getting to marry the love of my life…making sure my guests have a great time….spending quality time with all my favorite people) that I thought as long as I liked the dress, I would be fine with that. I am very embarrassed that I am now on my way to becoming a two dress bride and wasting so much money.
Anyway, I made the classic mistake of buying a dress too soon. The very first time I went dress shopping, I found a dress that I liked. My mom LOVED it, my friends appeared to love it, and it was within my price range. I wouldn’t say that I was pressured into buying it, but I was definitely talked into buying it. I know if I was alone there was no way I would have purchased it, but my friends and Mom kept saying that it was perfect and “so you” and that now that the dress was done I would have all this time to focus on other things, and that it would be a huge relief. These were all really valid points, so, I bought it.
While I did like it, I never loved it. The dress was nothing like what I had come in wanting, but the salon didn’t have any of the dresses that I had hoped to try on. I went from trying on about 10 dresses that I pretty much hated, to finding one dress that I really liked, and going from those two extremes swayed me. I have now realized that if the salon had more of the dresses I was actually interested in, I would have quickly realized that my current dress wasn’t what I wanted. I have known from the beginning that I wanted lace, and I ended up with this flowy silk chiffon dress. Pretty, yes, but not what I had ever pictured myself in.
Pretty much the day after I bought it I started regretting it. My friends told me that I was being stupid and that this is common and that once it comes in I will love it, so I tried to just chill out and wait. The dress isn’t supposed to arrive until May, so maybe they are right and once it comes in my size I will love it, but I look at pictures of me in it and I just hate the way I look. It’s just not what I want or how i want to look on my wedding day.
After failing miserably in my goal to “chill out and wait,” I finally decided to try on more dresses just to see, and a few weeks ago I found a dress I loved. While I didn’t have the “oh my god this is THE ONE” moment, I loved it immediately and knew it was what I had pictured myself in. Full lace, romantic, form fitting but still flowy, deep sweetheart neckline…. it just felt like me. You can see it here: http://www.legendsbyromonakeveza.com/legends/runway/current3/pages/spring2011/05a.html.
The dress was more than I wanted to spend (I didn’t want to spend over 2k, especially since I already bought a dress, and this was over 3k), so I immediately started scouring the used wedding dress sites. I found the sister dress – same designer, same lace, same neckline, just a different silhouette (a-line instead of trumpet). I emailed the seller and we have been corresponding. She sounds awesome (she was also a multiple dress bride, which made me feel better) and I love the idea of purchasing it from another bride, one that seems so great and understands my wedding dress agony. She is also a frequent WeddingBee user, which makes me feel confident in the purchase and not like I would be buying from a total stranger.
However, though the dress is very very similar, it’s not the same dress. I am pretty sure I could have it taken it to give it more of a fit and flare look, but because it is an all lace dress the alterations are probably going to be quite costly. It is also white and I had wanted ivory, but I can deal with that. Pictures of both dresses are below.
I tried on both dresses again this weekend, and while I liked the sister dress, I still liked the L216 best. But… the L216 is 3k, and part of me just feels crazy spending that much money on a dress, especially when I have one already. But I want to love my dress, and right now, I just don’t.
So… I don’t know what to do. Should I wait and hope that the one I love (Romona Keveza L216) comes up used, or should I buy the sister dress (Romona Keveza L195) and just spend the extra money altering it? However, if I do that, I’m really not saving that much money. Is it worth it to just suck it up and purchase the one I really want new?
My wedding is still far away but I am feeling a lot of pressure because if I do want to get a new dress, I need to do so really soon, and if I don’t, I don’t want to miss out on the used dress because I waited too long. I also just want my dress drama to be over. I am so sick of obsessing over dresses and thinking about how much I don’t like mine.
Needless to say, I am really confused. I am so mad at myself and embarrassed that I am even in this situation.
So, what should I do?
1 – Buy the dress I love brand new and spend more $$ than I had wanted to.
2 – Take advantage of the fact that I found a similar dress used AND in my size, and get the sister dress. When you buy pre-owned, you have to make compromises.
3 – Hold off on purchasing a used dress and hope that the one I really want eventually comes up used.
I realize I sound like a crazy person, but I really need the hive’s advice. My friends just don’t get it and think that I am insane obsessing so much over a dress I will wear once. Help!
Dress i want: Romona Keveza L216
Sister dress I found used: Romona Keveza L195