(Closed) Serious dress regret :( Really confused, need advice.

posted 11 years ago in Dress
Post # 3
23 posts

Get the one you love!  If the alterations on the sister dress might end up costing the same anyways, you might as well get something that you love.  Plus, if you got the sister dress there is a chance the alterations would not work out and you would end up with yet another dress that you do not love.

While its important for guests to have a great time etc, its YOUR day and you should feel the most beautiful you have ever felt, and not be thinking about the dress you wish you could wear.  Try and take some money away from something else in the wedding, and go for it!

Post # 4
2166 posts
Buzzing bee

Can you return the dress you’ve already ordered or will you have to resell it?

Post # 5
3423 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

They look the same to me πŸ™  but I say get what you want, you need to feel good.

Post # 6
313 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

HA!  Welcome!  I did the same thing, and let me tell you what, I felt the same way. Embarassed!  You get over it when you find the dress that you love!

What I did: put the other dress up for sale and found the one I loved.  I AM SO HAPPY!  I found my dream dress and I love it, I can’t wait to wear it on my wedding day!  I defenatily spent over my dress budget on two dresses (and alterations on the second one) but I do not regret it at all.  Good luck!

Get the one that you want most!  Congratulations and happy planning!


Post # 7
3968 posts
Honey bee

I was in a similar boat with my dress.  It was the one I liked out of all the ones I hated.  I had serious dress second guesses and even went out shopping to see if I could find other dresses but never found anything I liked (except for one that was 6K without alterations – which I wasn’t going to do).  

Since you DID find a dress you love – you are going to be thinking about that dress vs. the one you have.

btw, can you post a pic of the dress you have?  

I know that if I found a dress I could afford after my 1st dress, it’s all I would think about.  On the wedding day, however, I felt amazing and everyone raved over my original dress and I how good I looked and I wondered why I nitpicked it so much.  No one else saw the other dresses in my head, they only saw me – glowing because I was getting married.  I didn’t even LOOK in the mirror after putting on my dress (haha) because it didn’t really matter what I wore – I was just excited to marry FI!  And, now the dress sits in my closet… and I’d love to resell it, so it can be used by someone else.  (Just pointing out, that I’m not super emotionally attached to it.)

I think the most important thing is that you should feel amazing on the wedding day.  If that means getting another dress, then so be it.

My rec to you is to talk to whomever you are going to hire to do alterations and talk to them about how much it will cost.  I did not anticipate how much alterations would really cost (I figured around $400 and mine cost MUCH more w/ the bustle).  That way, you have a full picture of costs in your head and can move forward.  Plus, you can always recoup some of the costs of your 1st dress by selling it.

Also – the 2 dresses you posted look very similar – although, I see what you mean with the fit and flare.  If that’s what you love most about that dress – I’d get the original (or talk to a seamstress to find out what it would take to mimic that look).

Good luck!  Keep us posted!

Post # 8
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I’m in the same boat.  Bought the dress on my first trip out with my family,and my grandma and cousin started crying when I came out with it on.  It looks great on me, but I was never in love with it.  I figured if everyone else loved it, it had to be great.

I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately, but I don’t think I can afford to buy a different dress.  I don’t even want to go out looking, because I know I’ll find something I like better.

I think if you can afford another dress, go for it.  You should be in love with your dress…

Oh – I can’t notice a difference between the two Ramona dresses at all.

Post # 9
1316 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I can’t really tell the difference between the two Romona dresses and if it’s a difference of several hundred (or thousand) dollars, I’d go with the one that you have already found pre-owned.  It is an absolutely stunning dress and I can see why you fell in love with it! 

I’m not a two dress bride but like you, I bought my dress early on (more than a year before my wedding) and have frequently seen dresses here or in magazines that have made me question whether or not I bought too early.  I wouldn’t be embarrassed about buying a second dress though – really, whose business is it anyway!  Unless someone else is paying for the dress, no one has a right to judge on how much you spend on your dress(es)!  If I wasn’t such a tight wad with my money, I probably would have gone out and bought the Sottero and Midgley Toni dress as I am obsessed with it!  That being said though, I do like my dress an awful lot and am quite happy wearing it…which is a different situation from what you’re in. 

I think you should go with one of the Romona dresses – you definitely want a dress that is going to make you feel beautiful and like a bride!  Don’t settle for something that you’re going to be unhappy with….. this is the one time in your life you can wear a long, formal white dress and it should be something you love!  Good luck!

Post # 11
3968 posts
Honey bee

@SerenaSF: that is a pretty dress (your original) but I could see how it’s SO different than the fit & flare.  Sorry if you posted it earlier – but what’s the price difference between the one you like and the one you’d need altered?  a $400 minimum quote on alterations makes me think it’s more like $800.  I swear – alterations is like working with contractors – always double up the price and estimated time for completion.

Post # 12
2166 posts
Buzzing bee

I love the dress you’ve already bought and think that you could sell it pretty easily.

I think because of all the uncertainy with the costs of alterations, you should wait and try to find your dress in the shape you want it.  It’s a strapless, perhaps more will be up for sale in late spring due to lots of destination weddings taking place over the winter?  *shrugs*

Post # 14
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Well, I didn’t have this problem, but I assure you I would raise hell if at some point I didn’t like my dress and found one I feel in love with. Why? Its OUR day, the BRIDES day.  Do what your heart says.  Don’t listen to family and friends (as women we let them cloud our vision).  You have to be happy, after all, you only get one day.  You can’t re-do it. I really love the original dress.  I think it could be really stunning, but that doesn’t mean you have to be the one to make it stunning. I have seen so many sales online you could easily sell. It may not be immediately, but eventually.  I hope this helps. 

Post # 15
3 posts
  • Wedding: April 2011

I am a firm believer in the “you only live once” motto. This is your wedding day! While I do agree that not every penny should be spent on a dress or even the wedding itself, you have to love every piece of your day… from your dress to your vows to your pictures after. The dress is especially important because when you look back at pictures, its all you’ll see. And after all is said and done, the pictures are all you have left! Go for the dream dress and recoup the costs where you can or cut back in other areas! I myself am a two dress bride and I can tell you that I am unbelievably happy I followed my heart (or in this case my regret) and found a dress I loved. I cannot imagine walking down the aisle and marrying my best friend in any other dress!

Post # 16
3968 posts
Honey bee

@SerenaSF: I totally understand.  I’d be nervous spending $2200-2500 on the 2nd dress, not being 100% how it would turn out.  And, if you buy the new $2900 – you are still probably going to need minor alterations for fit.  BUT – if you do buy a second dress, I’d honestly go for the dress you want (the $2900).  You are talking less than a 1K difference, and hoping you’d be able to sell your original dress would offset some of that cost.  Only you know your budget situation, though!  And, I agree with you – I don’t think you’d find a similar dress.  Although, it’s worth a post on the dress board to see if anyone has any ideas!! πŸ™‚

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