(Closed) Serious Post-Wedding Depression & Regrets

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

View original reply
brigk:  

I am sorry that you’re sad. We all handle things differently but don’t take much longer to dwell on this,  seriously. You can have one more sad day (or whatever is needed) then please move on.

I won’t get too into my wedding day but… the groom had to sprint 5 miles to the chapel and I hiked through the forest in wedding dress and heels which were all FILTHY by the time I arrived to the chapel. My own father, grandmother,  and most family couldn’t attend due to all the roadblocks.

The venue gave our guestbook to another bride (half of our guests signed and half of theirs). And venue forgot to set up a paid for Smores station and misplaced our gifts! Gifts were found.  

It was truly THE BEST DAY OF OUR LIVES hilarious and filled with memories! It’s a Crack up. Our pictures are crazy! But we made a pact to get in even better shape and take more pictures on our future adventures.

See don’t be sad too much longer… at least our men showed up! Get sad, it’s ok… but then please get over it! 

Post # 3
Member
620 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2019

That sounds terrible.  I have had zero experiences with something of this magnitude, but then again I have not had my wedding yet.  I see only one solution:

Time

Not what many would like to hear, but time puts many things in perspective.  You might not be able to see it from where you currently stand, but it would slowly get better.  Your disappointment might last forever, but the post-wedding pain will lessen.  Time would go on, life would move forward, and you will have more pressing attentions/problems than this.  You will be better.  Just have to give it time.

Post # 4
Member
1296 posts
Bumble bee

Why were you late getting to your venue? 

It sounds like a lot of your issues could be solved by getting dressed up again and staging a photo shoot. Maybe it will even be raining and you can wear your boots.

Post # 5
Member
1296 posts
Bumble bee

Also – did your ceremony start on time? Did your guests have a good time? Did you get married? All the rest is just extra…I would just focus on your marriage, and not the fact that you didn’t get to see the details or some photos you wanted. Try to step back and have a little perspective.

Post # 6
Member
2403 posts
Buzzing bee

These honestly don’t sound like terrible problems to have. It seems like you would feel a lot better if you got your wedding party together, dressed up again, and re-took some of the photos you feel like you’re missing. 

The other things? Try to let them go. The important thing is that you’re married. 

My wedding? It rained for my outdoor ceremony, they forgot to put down the aisle runner, we forgot to afix my veil and my mom had to tuck it under my hairpiece at the last second, all of the flowers were COMPLETELY wrong (we ordered cream colored, they were hot pink), the venue ran out of appetizers, the DJ was the last person to get his meal and he decided to interrupt my husband and I as we ate our dinner to complain about it, my dress didn’t look nearly as nice as I had hoped, my makeup looked wrong, my hair fell out (because of the rain)… I can go on and on. These things happen. Try to look back on them and laugh! You’re married to the love of your life. Enjoy it, and move on to the next big thing. 🙂

Good luck! 

Post # 7
Member
374 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

You truly did have alot that happened. and that sucks. so much time we spend on all those little details that really only mean alot to us and maybe our mom. right now its hard to focus on the positive but for your own mental health and the sanity of your NEW HUSBAND (woohoo and congrats) you are going to have to find a way to push past this. maybe call an aunt or friend who did not know about these issues and talk to them about the good stuff at your wedding and do not even mention the crappy stuff. as hard as it sounds, dont talk about all that went wrong and let them tell you about what they enjoyed at your wedding. Or maybe think about your vows, about what the minister said, the look of your husband when he said i do. Good luck hunny. 

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 6 months ago by  lknatbrghtsde. Reason: forgot a word
Post # 8
Member
4251 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2009

While not ideal, you can dress up in your dress again and so your make up and ask your photog  spend an hour with you to get some of these pics.  I would ask her what kind of fee she would charge for just an hour or so of extra time.  If you explain this to her and your venue they may all just work with you to have a redo of some pics. 

Post # 9
Member
5152 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

I can tell you right now, in a year, none of this will matter. I guarantee you won’t care about the socks, the arch, etc. I suggest planning something fun for you and your hubby to look forward to – are you going on a honeymoon? If not, plan a weekend away, etc.

 

Also, please don’t make your wedding party dress up again and retake pictures.  I would honestly think it was weird if you and your groom retook pictures. Two years later, I rarely look at our wedding pictures, other than the ones we have on display. 

Post # 10
Member
1799 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

My reception ended witH a domestic violence incident with my moh and her husband where the police were called bad it ended the night early. I hear that you are disappointed but there is absolutely nothing you can do to change it. Remember the positives and move on with life.

Post # 11
Member
3324 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Girl, you are stressing about what socks the gms wore! so not something to bring you down! 

You got to marry the love of your life, and start you adventure together! focus on the good things That happened, and eventually the negative ones will fade. If you only focus on the bad things, eventually the good will fade, and I’m sure you don’t want that!

Post # 12
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I don’t have any advice to give you, but this has taught me not to get too hung up on the details. Everyone who has ever been married has told me that the day will not go 100% perfect. Here I am stressing about the what colours to make the table setting and how to make the ceremony programs, but at the end of the day, the only thing people remember is the good time and good company they had. These items you keep thinking about are not worth your mental health. Be happy that your guests had a great time, you and your husband are healthy, and keep your head up for the next adventure you embark on. 

Post # 13
Member
6240 posts
Bee Keeper

Here’s something that might help you. 

I got married on Saturday. There’s a ton of things that went wrong – hair was a mess, we over ran on speeches, I missed out on some of the entertainment I was looking forward to because of photos, there’s some photos I know we missed etc etc. 

I was having a little moan to a friend and she reeled off the list of things about their day that she regretted too. She then said though that when the photos came she realised there was a ton of brilliant stuff that happened that she had no idea about and there were loads of extra great things. So when do you get your pics back? 

 

Post # 14
Member
769 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: Saint Domingue

View original reply
brigk:  I’ll answer you’re question for you; Yes, yes you most definitely should be happy you’re married.  Also, you’re very lucky it seems your husband is taking this as well as he is.  He must be very, very hurt or very, very frightened or some combination thereof. 

Here’s the thing:

1. Pinterest is not a manual

2. A box of socks

3. Rainboots

4. Upset you didn’t lie on the “totally soaking ground” in your wedding gown 

5. Dip pic.  (Oh, you read it right: dip pic.) 

6. See #1 and refer back to it whenever you’re feeling bad about how your day was a disaster.  

I read nothing in your post about guests keeling over, close family members missing flights and missing your ceremony, herds of rabid muskrat attacking your guests by clawing out their eyes or any other like calamity, so, seeing as you’re married, I’d call the day a success.  It seems congratulations are in order, right?    

Post # 15
Member
380 posts
Helper bee

There are many things I also regret from my wedding, starting with the fact that most of it was planned by my mother given that my ideas were not “bridal” enough. Somedays I look back at it and feel it was more of a party my parents hosted than our wedding. There was also a lot that happened that didn’t allow DH and I to really enjoy our wedding: a wasted friend, my in-laws fight, no music to dance to, etc. I never hoped for the perfect wedding, but I wanted to at least enjoy it…yet, it didn’t feel that way.

DH helped me get past it. He reminded me of the nice moments we had and jokes about the bad things that happened. He shares his favorite parts and recalls our honeymoon and minimoon (which I enjoyed more than the wedding). He sometimes hears me fantasizing about our “second wedding” (aka 25th anniversary) and my dream-wedding which has fade away with time.

Eventually, you will discover that your marriage is way more exciting than your wedding. Eventually, you’ll look at your photos and smile because it was a great day. Eventually, you’ll realize there are some things you can redo either now or later.

And in the end, you will realize it will all be okay because at the end of the day, no matter how awful the wedding, you have a wonderful man by your side to remind you that it was the most special day.

Also, following Carrie’s advice: the worst the wedding the better the marriage? Hehehe 😉

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