(Closed) Serious Problem – VENT!

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I was in your same boat, girlie! So I totally know how you feel. The best thing to do is to stop thinking about it. I know, easier said than done. Best thing to do is to try and keep busy until the time comes. Volunteer, focus on your job, etc. Another thing you can do is to start to outline your wedding plans. It will make you realize how much time and money everything is going to take and you will just end up being super prepared when the time does come! Good luck!!!

Post # 4
Member
445 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I would say start a hobby..find something fun to do and spend time doing that.  Maybe there’s a class you wanted to take or spend time learning a new skills…like letter press or calligraphy (which you can use when you do become engaged and start the planning!! :p) Regardless of what it is..do something for yourself and put your heart into it so that you can take your mind off wedding and let your Boyfriend or Best Friend do the proposal planning. =) Good luck

Post # 5
Member
1670 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

It is the season!!  You just can not get away from all the commercials and engagement announcements!  Maybe you should find a new hobby to help you not go crazy.  I think that the more you are able to not mention it the happier he will be and maybe he will push up the date.  I know that when I keep bringing it up to my SO he kinda clams up and I’m sure that does not help my cause.  Hopefully once the holidays are over it will be easier.  I sure hope so cause I’m going crazy too!! 

Post # 6
Member
11 posts
Newbee

I am in your boat! I have nobody to talk to about this since all of my friends are already married, have children or are just not interested in marriage. It seems so trivial in the grand scheme of things, but when you feel like your life is on pause and just waiting on a man to hit the play button, it makes it feel like the end of the world.

I was on the phone with my Boyfriend or Best Friend yesterday when he told me that he will be taking a summer class this year. Earlier this year we discussed a summer 11 wedding, but that is as far as it went. And now with a summer class, it looks like another excuse to put it off.

The thought of “a person knows after a year and a half if they want to marry the person they are with, if they don’t know, they don’t want to marry you” rolls through my head and I become an emotional wreck.

The other thing is, if you live together (as we are now) it almost seems like they are comfortable enough and see no reason to get married. I know all of this probably doesn’t help, but just knowing that people understand you sometimes helps a little.

Post # 7
Member
797 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I feel your pain… but hey, at least he has a timeline!!  And make sure that he understands that you’re excited about the marriage.  I’ve heard on the boards a lot of guys think that women are only excited about the rings and wedding, but don’t put much thought into the marriage.

And I agree with what PP’s have said, get a hobby.  When I’m bored or have to much thinking time I do some excercizes.  That way, with all the waiting and thinking about it I’m doing, by the time he proposes I’ll look frickin’ awesome!!!

Post # 8
Member
34 posts
Newbee

I totally understand the hoping that it might be sooner than his timeline and possibly even tricking yourself into thinking it might be just around the corner. I know how hard it is not to bring it up every day and it doesn’t even seem fair that you should have to I mean you are involved too aren’t you? Anyways *hugs* and good luck 

Post # 9
Member
148 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

haha you sound EXACTLY like me!!  

I also have to convince myself that HE IS NOT THROWING ME OFF!!

My SO and I just moved in together a month ago.  I try sooo hard not to bring it up but it always comes up LOL.  It has been a lot easier not to mention it because we have been focusing on our new place and getting things all set, buying things, etc.

I feel the same way about facebook too…everytime I see someone get engaged I just want to cry. 

A timeline is nice!!  The only one I got is that we plan to get married in 2012 and he thinks longer than a year engagement is stupid.  And I have been waiting THIS long so I guess I have less than a year to go…not that bad right!?

Anyway, I actually kind of tricked him into talking about it the other day.  We were watching “He’s just not that into you” and I was telling him how I love the part where Ben Affleck proposes and hes like I love that part too, I love how its when she least expects it, thats how it should be.  Hmmm so now I will be expecting it when I should be least expecting it…haha

Good luck!  I feel your pain!!

Post # 10
Member
1325 posts
Bumble bee

Wow! I’m so jealous you have a timeline from him! That is so much more than a lot of girls get. 10 months.. really isn’t that long! You can do it. Hmmm.. would it help to set up some mini goals for yourself to help pass the time? Like.. mmm.. accomplish something withing 3 months and give yourself a small reward? You know, something wonderful to look forward to that you give to yourself? For me.. it’s shoes. lol

Post # 11
Member
1667 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Well you can talk about wedding stuff all you want on here, so that’s a plus!

Bury yourself in work or doing what you love, having distractions will be the best thing. I can’t tell you not to think about it, because I was a “waiting” girl once, and I know not thinking about it pretty much impossible.

Looking back on it though, I wished I had enjoyed the waiting period more, I know that sounds crazy. But it’s special, just like being engaged is special and there is a sense of exciting anticipation. Try as much as you can to just breath and enjoy it 🙂

Post # 12
Member
630 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

“Realistically, we can’t live together til my lease is up in August and an engagement will be shortly before or shortly after,”

You wont see him any sooner if you get engaged so just keep that in mind. In my opinion, theres not really anything wrong with thinging about your future wedding and starting to get ideas for it now. It takes a long time to plan… so give in to your temptations and start looking at magazines! maybe this is bad advice? lol i dunno.

Post # 13
Member
15 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I agree with Ktisthatbees…waiting is so exciting (in retrospect lol). While I waited I too was impatient and dont think i FULLY enjoyed the experience. Being engaged is awesome but also the time leading up to it is special all on its own. Think about it this way….Once you are his Fiance you will never be his Girlfriend again so that is a part of your life that will end, so enjoy it while its still there

When you do get engaged you can fully enjoy the new experience and you’ll realize just how fast time flew by!!!…until then…Vent here =)

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