(Closed) serious question: do you think it takes a man to teach how to be a man?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: does it take a man to raise a man?
    yes, someone needs to teach them how : (30 votes)
    32 %
    no, a woman can do the same : (63 votes)
    68 %
  • Post # 3
    6355 posts
    Bee Keeper

    It’s not absolutely necessary, but a strong male role model really helps.

    Ideally every boy and girl shoud have at least one strong role model from either gender.

    If a child has at least one strong role model though, that’s all he/she truly needs.

    Post # 4
    74 posts
    Worker bee

    I agree to a certain extent, but the long answer to this question is very spiritual and religious in nature and I’m not sure you’re looking for that type of answer. So, in short, I think a boy needs a man to teach him to be a man. Hope I don’t sound like a crazy person with those answers, lol

    Post # 5
    1710 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World

    I don’t necessarily think a man can teach someone how to be a man.  FI is a perfect example. He is a great man and provider, but he certainly didn’t get that from his dad (and didn’t have any other male role model).  

    ETA: Or, his dad taught him how NOT to act…

    Post # 6
    524 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    @joya_aspera:  I agree with this. Though, ideally, every child would have multiple role models from both genders, both their own and the opposite gender, I have seen amazing men grow up by being raised by women with absent fathers or no male role models, and poor men grow up having male role models (usually poor role models, but still). My fiance’s father was largely absent in his life and his main role model was always his mother. She taught him to be strong, to treat women very well, and to be the man he is to me: no main male role model required (though he did have some secondary male role models and positive male friendships that definitely helped!). 

    So I guess in long-form, my answer is no, not always. 

    Post # 7
    3769 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

    I don’t think so at all.  If what “being a man” boils down to is learning right from wrong, courtesy, respect, and responsibility, then anyone, man or woman, can teach that, and I don’t think it matters if two parents or just one are involved.

    Post # 8
    933 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Nope. But I’d love to see a poll.

    Post # 9
    1042 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    My fiance was raised by a single mom essentially, and he is the manliest person I know, as is his brother. Both Fiance and his brother are incredibly intelligent, responsible, and kind people. They rarely skirt their responsibilities or take the easy way out.

    So, to me, that seems like an excuse, or bad parenting from the female in his life

    Post # 10
    9954 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    I don’t think it necessarily takes living with a man to teach a boy how to be a man (appropriately)

    As I do think that some single Moms, Grandmas, Aunts, Older Sisters etc… have taken on this role in many a man-child’s life and done an good job

    It is especially an honour when one meets a well-adjusted man who in particular treats women with the LOVE & RESPECT they deserve… and says… “I attribute it all to my mom” and genuinely means it.

    WHAT I do think is lacking is MALE ROLE MODELS in our society that truly show young men (teens & 20 somethings) that women are to be valued and are not “just one of the guys”… or worse.

    I think of some of the stuff I’ve seen in recent years in the media (RAP music industry in particular) where it seems apparent that treating women as objects (beyond anything even I ever imagined) is now more rampent than ever

    And “some” young men, are taking away from that that it is OK to treat women poorly.  I’m sorry but women are the future of mankind, as we are the ones who are the mothers of the future.  Men who don’t respect women, are doing ALL of us a disservice as a society IMO


    Post # 11
    1120 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2010

    We do a great deal of learning through imitating models. Boys will need men to learn how to become one, and the same goes for girls becoming women.

    Ideally that would be their parents. If that’s not possible, they need someone in their life to be a rolemodel, someone who is constantly there.

    So yeah, absolutely.


    Post # 13
    3942 posts
    Honey bee

    No. I know plenty of people (male and female) that are useless as adults. It’s not whether they were raised by just a mom, just a dad, both, etc. Its HOW they were raised.

    Post # 15
    8041 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2013

    @oneovakind:  I think a strong male role model is helpful, but not necessary. I would think that a boy raised by his mom would have the benefit of being more attuned to women’s needs vs. being weak or less manly, but I think it probably depends on specific circumstances.

    How a kid ends up is part nature and part nurture. Not all kids with bad parents (or no parents) end up badly, and not every kid with friendly middle class parents end up being a productive member of society.


    Post # 16
    979 posts
    Busy bee

    @Bostongrl25  I agree and also think its a path they take with friends they choose and hang out with. Friends have a lot of influence on an individual.

    The topic ‘serious question: do you think it takes a man to teach how to be a man?’ is closed to new replies.

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