(Closed) Seriously, am I not making myself clear?

posted 10 years ago in Beehive
Post # 3
Member
179 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Relax.  Call the bridal shop and see if they can place the order over the phone.  Sounds like you’ve already picked out their gown.  They bear the burden of picking the right size and working on alterations.  See if you can set a date that they need to have the order called in by – and still have the bridal place one order on the same day.

Then – try to lay a guilt trip on them.  You’re disappointed you thought this would be a fun girls day out and a good chance for the BM’s to hang out together.  See if that works – I think the Bridezilla way is going to make them "lean" the other way.

Remember – Its not that they don’t like you – they’re just not into the wedding thing. You can’t make them interested in it.  They agreed to do it because they like you – but the details aren’t for everyone.  I was never that into it until this recent brideness.

My mom also bought my sister’s dresses (22 and 25).  I don’t think it was necessary, but since she bought mine for younger sis I guess its fair.  Must be some mom etiquette I’ve never read about. 

Post # 4
Member
629 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2005

Try a Miss Lovebug. 😀

1. Show up = hired

2. Don’t show up = fired

Post # 6
Member
1 posts
Wannabee

I totally understand.  You need to ask yourself though why you chose them to be your bridesmaids and be honest about their personalities.  Something tells me that you know your folks better, but are putting upon them how you would respond to the situation.  Realize that they are who they are and roll with it.  Be honest with yourself as well and pick those to be your BMs who will make your day and the whole wedding planning process go as smoothly as possible.  I started out wanting 5 BMs, but quickly settled on the 2 who were the least fussiest and most onboard.  I’m very happy with my decision b/c it helped me eliminate a lot of un-needed stress.  I love my friends and they’re great people, but I had to be honest about their qualities and what i needed most from my BMs.  Good luck!! 

Post # 7
Member
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2008

Yes Sweeney, you were likely very detailed. And those people probably just saw the email and were like ohhh… get to that later. PITA dealing with all of those people if you ask me. Although the people in our lives care for us and want to support us, our weddings are just not as important to them right now because either a. it just isn’t that big of a deal to them, b. it isn’t that close up so people are just kind of like uhhhh… yeah that’s like a few months away, or c. it just means more to us than them. (My personal guess is all of the above).

I decided not to have bridesmaids for many reasons and honestly, I would have done without the Maid/Matron of Honor and Bridesmaid or Best Man if I had the balls to stand up to my family (they are such damn traditionalists that I HAVE to have the Bridesmaid or Best Man and Maid/Matron of Honor sign the f-in marriage certificate, when I wanted our mothers to do it). See I have 3 sisters and 1 brother and FH is an only child. But I’ve got tons of girlfriends from all parts of my life I would love to include, but it would be hard to choose who to honor bc they all mean different things to me in different ways. Also, my family and (some) friends LOVE drama. LOVE it. And honestly, that is just one thing I am sooo not wanting to deal with when it comes to my wedding day. I say you should make the decision that feels best for you. Your friends can still party (bachelorette/bachelor, rehearsal, whatever) with you but they just don’t have to wear matching dresses 😉
Maybe have a talk with them and see whats going on… No offense here… so please take what I say, digest it, and think it over before you react. Think about the last 10 conversations you have had with those people you have in your wedding party… how many of those conversations/discussions and what percentage of those revolved around something for the wedding? Personally, I realized I was talking about me and my wedding with my sister and forgot it was her son’s (my sweet sweet nephew and GODSON!) birthday because I was excited about getting a deal on something for the wedding (because I’m the super deal hunter in my fam). Our weddings are the BIG things going on in our lives and I don’t know about you, but I have a severe case of wedding brain. I’m about to start the hardest semester in Occupational Therapy school (2 yr masters program) and my wedding is smack dab two weekends before finals. Yes BEFORE. But I honestly care less about school and am sitting here at 8pm on my computer doing more wedding stuff, rather than chilling out and getting my things together for my 10 hour day tomorrow. (Boo). When I talk to girlfriends at school about school stuff, oh somehow we get on the subject of weddings and it is like two hours later. (BTW-I’m still trying to figure out how these conversations go this way).

But I believe Angel said what I’m trying to say here is if they are a PITA, then pull a Miss Lovebug. Get rid of them all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Post # 8
Member
311 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

Are you also doing lunch or something with them that day or just going to get measured?  If it’s just going to get measured, they may feel like it’s taking away time to do something else. The last wedding I was in, the bride just asked us to all go to the store to get measured some time during a two week period and then she ordered all of the dresses at the same time to ensure same dye lot, etc… (we all reimbursed her).  Know each of your bridesmaids and know what to expect.  Some will definitely show more interest in details than others.

Post # 9
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee

Can they not just phone their order in? I’m not sure why they all have to go together – the dresses have to be ordered *by the store* at the same time, and the store you are ordering from should have a system for dealing with it, other than everyone coming in at once.

 

It doesn’t have to be this complicated 🙂 

Post # 11
Member
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2008

check your PM I replied to u! I hope u feel better!

And hey I’ll have a margarita in your honor on Sat!

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