(Closed) seriously brides, why do you do it?

posted 13 years ago in Elopement
Post # 48
Member
1581 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I love planning weddings!  I’m planning 2 showers right now one for my cousin one for my bestfriend. I’m also helping my cousin plan her entire wedding.  She wants to have the family get together to celebrate but doesn’t want to plan it.  They are moving into their house the same month and she’s more focused on that.  Fine with me! I’ll handle the wedding part and it will be a fun surprise for her.

 I’m also planning my wedding and having fun looking at possible decorations and places! I’m a year out so I’m not too involved yet with my own!  Their’s come this summer.

btw.. people who elope always come home and do a get together.  You said you are having a catered event for family/friends with 150 people!

I hate to tell you this… but that’s a wedding.  Because what is hard to plan and stressful is the reception! Not the ceremony! The preacher does the planning and tells you what to say and where to stand for the ceremony.  You have to figure out everything else i.e. food, drinks, tables, chairs, cake, entertainment!  Just keep that in mind. 

Plus, are you’re families going to be happy missing you exchange your vows.  Get ready for the drama there!

 Either way, good luck.  And have fun! This should be a time to have fun and celebrate the day and your future together!

Post # 49
Member
86 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I thought about throwing in the towel several times. But now that’s over, I’m so glad we did it — simply for the fact of having so many friends and family members there to support us. It was an amazing feeling.

I’d do it again in a heartbeat, even with all the snafus (caterer ran out of food, maids had to throw together lilacs because we forgot their bouquets, the extra cleanup charge at the venue for a major spill, the last-minute venue change, etc).

Post # 50
Member
5 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2009

We considered eloping (or having a tiny, tiny wedding) in St. Kitts. Then it snowballed as they generally do into a full-fledged event. Planning a wedding is a crazy experience… seriously, I’m not qualified to organized a party for 200 people. And I am a bit on the shy side and don’t love the spotlight or having all eyes on me. Plus, the cost of a wedding is ridiculous.

So why are we doing it? Our wedding is the one day of our lives when we will have all our closest friends and family in the same place at the same time celebrating our happiness. And that is just too wonderful to miss out on. 🙂

Post # 51
Member
1387 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

To me, it’s not a hassle at all.  It’s a wedding, but I almost see it as a huge family reunion (with my closest friends there too).  I can’t wait to share the special day with all my loved ones.  I don’t get to see many of my guests very often, so it’ll be a real treat for the Fiance and I.  I’m only planning on doing this once in my lifetime, so why not do it with a bang?  Also, I get to wear a kick-ass dress, haha!

Post # 52
Member
30 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2008

I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. I thoroughly enjoyed the wedding planning process, giving us the opportunity to be creative and have a blast with our family and friends. There are so few reasons to be able to invite our loved ones (who are spread all over North America) to come visit with us and actually have them come and we weren’t about to miss out on it.

Also, I think if we had eloped it would have broken my mother’s heart. I know she wanted to be there for my wedding day. So as important as it was to my husband and I, it was just as important for some of our family.

Post # 53
Bee
716 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009 - City Hall

Amen, sista! I’m only sort of eloping. We had to invite the parents. I’m an only child and he’s the oldest. But yeah. All those headaches and all that money. It just wasn’t for me. And neither Mr. Mary Jane nor I want the ceremony of it all. It makes us uncomfortable. To each her own!

Post # 54
Member
735 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Fiance would be fine with eloping…and recently it’s been very appealing to me too;)

But to me, the difference between married and what we are now (living together) is making the commitment in front of everyone we care about.  I think marriage is hard, and building a strong marriage even harder.  It’s nice to have all the support you can get.  I do think that the institution helps lend some legitimacy to your relaitonship (whether or not it should).   And I think when times are hard that can help strengthen your relationship.  But to me, I need to do that in front of other people.  Not everyone does, though, and I respect that.

Beyond that, it would have devastated my parents if we did not have a proper ceremony (even though ours will not be religious at all).  I don’t think that alone made the decision, but obviously it contributes.

Post # 55
Member
360 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2010 - Mr. P's Grandparents’ Ranch

Idk if it just because I’m at the beginning of the planning but I’m having sooo much fun with all the planning, that the only thing that i think can stress me later would be the " not having enough time" to do everything i want to do, or money hehe

I’ve seen people stressing over B-day parties, so yeah maybe for some is just something they just don’t want to and its very valid 🙂

Hope you have a great day!! and yeah what matter at the end is that what your doing is what you both want to Good Luck

Post # 56
Member
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2010 - Amy's Manor

I can’t imagine getting married without my family and close friends there with me. I wouldn’t be the person I am without them and wouldn’t want to miss sharing such a special moment in my life with them. It probably doesn’t hurt that I enjoy planning, I like being crafty and have found everything to be very fun so far. But either way, I would never be happy without these important people there with me – it just wouldn’t feel complete.

Post # 57
Member
517 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

When it came down to it, Fiance and I talked about what we wanted and if we would regret a destination wedding/eloping. It turned out after a few conversations we would miss the fun of having our friends and family share a special day with us. Yes it’s stressful, but it’s also a wonderful bonding experience for everyone involved. I have more fun days than stress days. We get to plan an amazing party that is a reflection of who we are as a couple and share that with the people we love. I agree that each person needs to do what is best for them, this is what is right for us.

Post # 58
Member
143 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

@eloping: We had a small ceremony at a family home, with just our closest family there, and then we invited a larger circle of extended family and friends to come for dinner and dancing later that evening.  I think it’s really sad when people get totally sucked into the drama of other people’s expectations or their family’s constant unsolicited feedback.  Planning a wedding is a whilrwind experience with lots of potential ups and downs no matter how you choose to do it, including eloping.  I don’t think any of us can see into the future and know the impact of our wedding decisions, but most of us try to follow our hearts the whole way through? I hope you and your Fiance end up happy with your decision to elope when it’s all over.  

Post # 59
Member
19 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2009

As soon as I got engaged, eloping was the first thing on my mind.  I just wanted the wedding day for the two of us to cherish; however, I also wanted to walk down the isle with my parents.  The road to our wedding day did come with a few fights and family dramas, but I’m really glad that we had the wedding with our family and friends.  Even the husband raves about the wedding still, so we’re both glad. 

I really think it is important for you to do what you want, not what the others would like you to do. So, good luck and have a great time on your wedding trip!

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