Post # 1
When I first joined the ‘Bee I was a compulsively active poster. Then things got crazy with a few posts (remember “Hate on Stripper” month?) and the general sense I got from the mods was that if you’re too blunt/harsh you could be kicked off the site, because people had gotten “too good” at being rude without actually personally attacking any of the other members.
I’m a blunt person by nature. I’m also incredibly sarcastic in real life and I have to make an effort to not be sarcastic (and thus misunderstood) when posting since, you know, you can’t hear me, haha. So after people started getting banned (or the threat of being banned) I basically stopped posting. I was legitimately afraid that if I said something that someone didn’t agree with I would be banned.
Lately, I’ve started posting more. But I’m still concerned that one day I’ll say the wrong thing in a thread, get a message from a mod, and never be allowed back again.
So can someone please explain at what point a user will be banned? I love the site, but I really hate when you’re in the middle of a thread and a hostess pops in to be like “now, now children, play nice” and everyone shuts up because they’re afraid they’ll be banned (or at least I feel like I need to).
Post # 3
@MandaMack: I wouldn’t worry about it. Go about your normal posts and if you get banned, cross that bridge when you get there. It’s not that big of a deal to you, is it?
Post # 4
@MandaMack: I think if there are multiple personal attacks (or maybe just one really bad one). Probably also if the user has received multiple warning about inappropriate behavior and has ignored them.
Post # 5
@MandaMack: I absolutely agree. I got my first warning yesterday and I seriously felt like I was being sent to the principals office. While I do agree that what I posted was not the nicest, the Bee it was directed towards, in my opinion, deserved it. The mod was very nice about it though. I apologized and all’s well but it definitely did worry me that now I’m on some “WB terrorist watch list” or something.
But as for your question, I think I read somewhere that theres a 3 strikes and your out policy in affect (could be wrong).
Post # 6
Why would I want to stay here, and in turn “get to know” other posters here, if I could just be banned for commenting on a thread? The hive as a whole is seriously divided between those who think it should be all rainbows all the time and those who think we should be able to be realistic. If me being realistic by my standards will end up getting me kicked off maybe I should find a new wedding website…
Post # 7
I don’t think they ever ban someone after one post that they deem inappropriate. You’d have to say something pretty vile (well beyond anything you’d ever think to say I’m sure) for that to happen. If you cross the line you’ll get a pm from a mod who will tell you and you’ll get to continue on. So you can probably just use your judgment and post what you want to and if you start getting pms then you’ll know to pull back.
Post # 8
I noticed you stopped posting as much, I was wondering why and now it makes sense. I am not sure if the 3 strikes policy is in effect but I think it’s 3 warnings and you are out.
Post # 9
I think it’s okay to be blunt with tact.
“No, I don’t think that dress is flattering at all on you.” vs “My god you look terrible!” ^_^
Post # 10
But what is a strike? You could call me the “c word” for my actions that I posted about and it wouldn’t phase me, if you said that to someone else they might actually cry (this is a very extreme example, obviously we all shouldn’t run around swearing at eachother). Because I have a “thick skin” I’m afraid I’m going to say something that I find completely normal and get a “strike” and then be terrified to say anything
at which point, why be a member of the site if I’m afraid to contribute?
Post # 11
But some people (including some mods) think that saying “I don’t think that is the most flattering dress on you” is the equivalent of saying “go kill yourself” (again, and exageration to get my point across)
Post # 12
I hid on the fitness boards, hahahahaha. The fitness boards (at least the threads I enjoy) don’t ever get controversial!
Post # 13
Hopefully Mr. Bee will jump in here and explain how all this works.
The Flag system just alerts the monitors that users feel something is inappropriate. If the moderators review and they agree usually they either will step in, remove the post, close the thread, or PM the user.
Continue to use your best judgement, but remember this site is meant to be supportive. I’m not saying don’t be honest, but there is a way to be honest without coming across as rude/snarky. Its a really tough to say things on the web that would normally be just blunt IRL, but because there are just words on a page, it can come across very differently.
Post # 14
This… Agreed. Its how its said, not what you are saying.
Post # 16
Also, I know I have posted this over and over, but for example, if you don’t like someones dress, do what Miss Tattoo:
suggests and state it nicely. However, I would also suggest offering some support. This means something like, “No, I don’t think the dress isn’t flattering on you but maybe try this style or designer
I think its the second part of that statement that makes WB so great. Not only do I come here for support, but I also get ideas. If you don’t agree with me thats fine, but offer up some other ideas for me!