(Closed) Seriously FMIL!

posted 9 years ago in Family
Post # 3
1125 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I don’t know the history behind this text, but to me it just looks like she’s concerned that you have everything you need.  I would just respond with a “No thanks, we’ve got it covered, but thanks for the thought.”

Post # 5
288 posts
Helper bee

She just seems concerned Why so defensive?


I would decline politely and be sure to thank her.

Post # 7
5592 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

@MissMeeksy:  It’s just a parent thing.  My husband’s family lives a ferry ride away.  We walk on for like $13 each, each way.  And EVERY time we go there his parents try to give us $50 bucks for “expenses”. We make more money than they do.  We by no means need them to pay for our visits, but they just like to feel needed.

I was at a comedy club a few weeks ago, and then stand up lady was doing a bit about how as long as your mom’s around, you’ll never be old enough to clean up broken glass.  You probably had to be there, but I laughed so hard, because it’s so true.  A glass gets dropped in my mom’s kitchen and she goes into extreme protective mode telling everybody not to move, and squawking at me when I try to pick up the big pieces with a bare hand, but then she’ll dive right in. 

Just thank her for thinking of you and be glad she loves you guys enough that you’re on her mind 🙂

Post # 8
1466 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1998

@MissMeeksy:  I’ve been in a similar situation with Future Mother-In-Law. Though we’re not rich, Fiance worked/was lucky enough to get a great job. His income is more than double the median where we live (we live in a relatively low-income area). I’m not rolling in dough, but my income’s just a bit below the household median where we live.

My Future Mother-In-Law is also the type to, on various trips, text with, “Stop at a hotel, we’ll pay for it.” 

Really, the only way to handle them is to firmly say, “We can cover it, thanks,” or “We’re fine, thanks for the offer.” 

Do you have to deal with her often? As passive-aggressive as it might seem, I’ve found that taking my time to reply to Future Mother-In-Law and being brief in my messages to her has helped a lot. She’s less likely now to offer unsolicited advice/help as often. The more responsive I am to her…the more she drives me nuts. 

Post # 9
7384 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

My Future Mother-In-Law is the same way; she’s just trying to take care of you. 

Post # 10
2623 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

haha my parents are not into giving us handouts or paying our bills. Interestingly enough the only time they forgo this is if we go out to eat or on vacation or some thing like that  then they revert to parent/child and they pick up the tab for everyone. That is a grand total of fourteen of us five of us “kids”, five grand kids, 3inlaws and 1 . Thankfully it’s very rare that they can wrangle all of us to make a trip or dinner at the same time.

Anyways like others have said it seems harmless and I think you reading way too much into it.Unless there are other issues and instances that make you think so, I don’t think she trying to imply you are broke or anything.

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