- 7 years ago
- Wedding: October 2012
Sorry this is a bit long, but I just had to get it out somewhere. I just got off the phone with my mom, and I am so freaking pissed. Apparently, people in my small hometown have been bashing my engagement status and my ring to my parents.
Some background, traditionally in my culture a couple becomes engaged when an engagement ceremony between the families takes place and afterwards a reception is held usually at a restaurant or the home where you entertain the guests. It’s almost like mini-wedding and reception ceremony. Being that everyone lives so far apart, my family (LA and KS), my fiance and I (AZ and TX), and my fiance’s family (AZ and CA), and the financial aspects with a wedding ten months away, my fiance and I decided to skip this whole elaborate affair. He asked me to marry him; I accepted; in both our minds we are engaged and planning our wedding.
After the proposal, in my excitement, I stupidly decided to post the news about our engagement and a picture of the ring on Facebook (which this whole situation is a reminder why I usually never post personal things on there). Apparently, the pictures and news circulated it my parents’ small community. You would not believe the horrible rude comments people made. People I hardly ever spoke to growing up berated my mom and dad asking why were they not invited to the engagement ceremony. People have told my mom, “You should instruct your daughter to stop telling people that she’s engaged bc she’s really not.” “If her fiance could afford that elaborate ring, they certainly could afford to have an engagement reception.” My absolute “OMG that b!tch did not say that” moment was when one of the member’s of my mom’s congregation implied to her right after MASS that my diamond must be fake that’s why we opted not to hold an engagement reception bc I was probably ashamed and did not want to let anyone see it. My mom was speechless in shock!
WTH people. First, we opted out because we decided it was best for us with work schedules, time, distance (FI and I currently are in two different states for work) and our budget (rather put the money into the actual wedding). Secondly, traditions are nice, but this isn’t the old country! I could care less about entertaining mostly my parents’ friends. Thirdly, my ring isn’t fake you crazy cow! And even if it was, I’d stunt that sucker like nobody’s business, because it isn’t! I can’t believe the nerve of some people. I know old Asian women are blunt but what happened to basic common courtesy?
I’m so upset. I know I shouldn’t let ignorant people and their comments get to me, but I feel this is so personal. How dare anyone put a shadow over my relationship?! The kicker, is my mom won’t tell me exactly who are making these comments, and they may end up attending at my wedding. Makes my blood boil! Just another reason I moved away when I was 18 and hardly ever come back, unless its to visit family.