(Closed) Seriously… Mother in law drama..?

posted 10 years ago in Family
Post # 32
Member
93 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Hi,

As you mentioned you are only having both sets of parents there and her husband has passed away she’d probably going to be by herself most of the time if she is not with you so maybe this is why she wants to arrange things so she is not alone all of the time. Maybe you could ask her if she would like to bring a friend or a member of the family if maybe she has a sister or something. I know you may only want parents at the wedding but it could make it a lot easier for you if she has someone with her.

Post # 33
Member
6014 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

i would suggest to her that she should bring a friend, or a sister or someone. 5days alone in vegas sounds a little boring, unless she’s gambling the whole time.

Post # 34
Member
2319 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

There’s several reasons she may have booked it and they have absolutely NOTHING to do with pissing you off:

1) She doesn’t want to be too far from you two. She is coming alone. She could keep company the same way with your parents, but she is closer and feels more comfortable with her own son obviously.

2) She wants to bond with you two as a couple. Especially with you, her new DIL.

3) She is giving herself a mini-vacation and using your wedding as an excuse for doing that. She knows that this mini vacation might get lonely so she has you two as a buffer to spend a day or two with.

4) She is honouring your wishes by NOT bringing a friend with her. Because then this friend will also accompany her to your wedding and you will end up having to feed them. Mother-In-Law doesn’t want to burden you financially like that.

5) She wants to be there incase you two need her help with anything wedding related. (I.e. coordinating with chapel, reconfirming dinner reservations, or just about any other administrative task.) Some women go about helping in unconventional ways. Trust me.

Post # 35
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’m sorry you’re upset. I actually understand. You specifically told us that she told you guys to make sure you had alone time and then she ups and books in the same hotel as you when there were countless other choices that could have been close to you, yet far enough away. I totally get that !

This is your once-in-a-lifetime wedding and you stated too that her son is upset as well.

Well then hon, there is nothing left to do but make sure your fiance tells her that you and him are looking forward to the “private time” that she herself suggested !

Good luck hon !

Post # 36
Member
2702 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

i completely understand how you are feeling and why you are irritated over something that seems petty. you’ve probably had issues with your Future Mother-In-Law being passive/aggressive and overbearing. one word of advice, BE THE BIGGER PERSON.

there are situations where it is your hubby’s job to step up and say the right thing (which i think he has in this situation). and there are other times where it’s not even worth your time to waste your energy on being upset. no matter what, nothing will make you feel better unless she books a room elsewhere, and it doesn’t look that’s a possibility at this point.

take yourself out of the situation and look from a 3rd party perspective… you don’t want to ruin your Destination Wedding weekend over something as minor as this right? don’t let her get in the way of what will be an amazing weekend…

as far as her games and tactics and sly moves… they won’t ever go away, all you can control is how to communicate with her about it and also how you will react to it.

 

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