Post # 1
I’m feeling BEYOND depressed lately. I have too much on my plate. My husband and I are planning a move across country, but I still have a job here. All my work is contracted out here for the next year so I have to be here weeks/months at a time to complete those gigs. I won’t have any place to live because no one in my family can take me for as long as I need to be here, and we can’t afford a separate rent and a mortgage while we try to sell the house. My mom is an alchoholic and in the worst shape ever. Every day I worry one of my sister’s is going to call and tell me she’s finally gone and accidentally killed herself. I don’t exaggerate when I say this… she recently got so drunk she jumped out a 2nd story window and broke almost every bone in her body and spent the last 3 months recovering only to go out and drink again. Now on top of everything, I just went to a salon and had a terrible experience, where i tried to go back to blonde and ended up with reddish brown completely fried hair. I cant stop crying, and I think the hair was just the last thing that I couldn’t handle 🙁
Post # 3
I don’t really have any advice, but wanted to offer my sympathy. Sounds like everything is hitting the fan all at once.
Has your mom ever been to rehab? Is that something that you and your sister could help her start? Or maybe even AA meetings?
Can you talk to your company about putting you up when you have to work for weeks/months in that area?
I don’t really know what to offer other than *hugs*.
Post # 4
it sounds like you need to talk to a therapist. you have a lot going on right now, and if you’ve been depressed for a long time, you really need to seek professional help.
also, please go to al-anon. it’s a great place for people with alcoholic loved ones, and you will get plenty of the support you need.
Post # 5
I’m sorry I don’t have any true words of wisdom. Just know that we are always here to listen and people do care! Yes, strangers can sometimes care more than our own families, odd huh?
I know you must worry about your mom but sounds like you need to be there as best you can but you need to live your life, do what must be done so you and your hubby can be together to build your new life together.
((hugs)) and best of luck. Try and keep your chin up girl.
Post # 6
I am so sorry that you are going through all this.
Moving in itself is rough and now moving across country is extra tough! Is there anyway you can contract out for the work that you have in your current town? Is there a way you can find a room to rent that would be cheap while you are in town?
I am sorry about your mom. Alcoholism not only hurts the person suffering from it but it hurts everyone who knows the person. I really feel for you because someone close to me is suffering from this. Have you tried to talk to her about AA? Have you thought about going to support groups for the family of those affected my alcoholism. Sometimes talking about it is really the best thing you can do for yourself.
And I am sorry about your hair. I know it seems like such a silly thing to cry about but this happened to me and my eyebrows. I was so stressed about other things that I broke down because the eyebrow lady messed my face up. Did you go back and ask for your money back? Maybe they can offer you a silk treatment to get some moisture back in?
Post # 7
- Wedding: October 2011 - Tre Bella, Mesa, AZ
I’m so sorry. (((hugs))) Just try to breathe and take it one day at a time.
Post # 8
For accommodation, have you looked into the possibility of house-sitting in your area?
Or, living in with a single mom who works nights? nurse, police officer etc. It is so hard to find someone who can be reponsible for children at night.
Post # 9
@julies1949: That’s such a great idea. Here where I live, there are always all kinds of things in the local newspaper for families who live far away/have their own lives looking for someone to live with their aging parent to cook them meals, maybe do light cleaning 1-2x/week and just make sure they’re taken care of should they fall or need to go to the hospital for typical aging stuff.
I’m so sorry for how you are feeling, but I definitely would recommend that you seek some counseling (especially Al-anon) and consider an antidepressant. I’ve seen it work wonders and medication combined with therapy is sooo helpful in conquering depression.
Post # 10
oh hun, that’s horrible, life is so hard and unfair at times. I hope everything falls into place for you and things start looking up for you.
Come on life! give this girl a break! good luck and keep your head up.
Post # 11
Thanks Everyone. My mom has been to AA and just about every fancy rehab clinic within a 100-mile radius. She’s even done six months in jail for drunk driving and that wasn’t bottom. The bottom for her = dead. There is only so much we as friends/family members can do to help someone who clearly doesn’t want to help themselves.
I took one last shot at fixing my hair yesterday. I spent 5 hours in a salon and now I’m golden bleach blonde 🙁 It looks terrible and horribly fake, but at least it’s all one color now I guess. I still want to cry when I think about it, but there is nothing more I can do, the hair is too too damaged. The salon I went to did this weird keratin treatment on it that cost $300 to try to restore it, then I get home and read up only to find out one of the known side effects of this treatment is all your hair falling out!? Are you kidding me?! I washed it all out as much as I could but I’ll be happy if my hair isn’t all falling out three days from now 🙁 I seriously can’t take anymore.
I wish going to stay with someone would completely solve things, but even if I could it would only save us the cost of utilities until we sold the house. I also won’t have time to cook/clean or watch anyone’s kids as my job is very labor intensive and I’ll be working 12-14 hour shifts. My husband keeps talking about how broke we are going to be and I thought he was going to kill me because I spent so much money on the Keratin treatment that I ended up washing out now anyway. I’m going to try to call and get my money back today because they didn’t warn me of the risks at all. For Pete’s sake they put carcinogens on my head and didn’t even tell me 🙁
Post # 12
🙁 I’m so sorry you’re dealing with so much. I just wanted to offer some internet hugs and support.
And the salon should definitely give you your money back if they didn’t tell you about the risks!
Post # 13
I dont have much in the way of a solution for what is going on with you.
I can only say that I am very sorry you are going through this right now. It does sound like there is a lot on your plate at the moment.
Just try to take things one day at a time and try not to focus on everything at once, tackle one issue at a time.
Major hugs coming your way.
Post # 14
I’m so sorry things aren’t going well for you. My mother was an alcoholic too and we always tried to help her, but she didn’t want the help. Life turned her that way and there was nothing we could do. So I feel bad for you, but you have to worry about you. You come first, period. I don’t know enough about hair to offer any advise on that. But for me, I’ve been through hell and back and know my way around hell blindfolded. All I can offer you, is that everything has an ending. No matter what if life you go through, at some point it will end and something new will begin. When I get down or frustrated, I hold onto that and say to myself…this too will pass. Things will pass. I don’t know how religious you are (me so so) but I love to read Eccelsiates, and if you think about it, it’s not really religious, but about life…sooo…but any way it brings life into perpective for me. Try it. My favorite part of it Ecclesiastes 3. Where it says that there is a time for everything. So what ever I’m going through in my life..I say..oh it must be that time..but that time will end, because there are times for other things. If you read the words, and ignore it coming from the bible..it makes a whole lot of sense.
Ecclesiastes 3 is:
There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
You can read Ecclesistes here: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ecclesiastes%201&version=ESV
Sorry if I offended anyone with using the bible…not my intention, but just trying to offer the only advise I can give.
Good Luck, hang in there.
Post # 15
Oh, honey I am so sorry… The only advice I can offer is to compartmentalize… try to breathe and take one thing at a time. Remember that this is all transitional and things will get better…
Post # 16
Great advice above, but speaking from my own experienc, I had reached my breaking point and finally went to therapy. I had so much built up that I didn’t even recognize it. Believe me when I tell you I had no health insurance, limited income and couldn’t afford it but I was desperate.
I would breakdown and cry at work (a big no, no in my book) I had no balance, was just miserable and dealing with close family members that suffered from mental illness. I found a place worked on a sliding scale fee structure. It was a HUGE sacrifce come up that that extra $42 a week (in addition to al my expenses) but I just made cutbacks where I could, because it just came to the point were I couldn’t NOT afford to go. Taking charge of my life in this manner, literally saved my sanity.