(Closed) Seriously!?!?! (sorry I need to vent)

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

We had a couple of these (my husbands friends who have no idea what etiquette is or how much it costs to host a wedding).. we just had to call them and politely let them know that we would be unable to accomodate their date but we still hoped they would attend alone.  Do NOT give in and let these people bring guests.. it’s not fair to you, and it’s not fair to the people who respected your wishes that they not invite a date.

Post # 4
Member
1752 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

They’ll understand should they ever have to plan and pay for a wedding, and not any other way.  Luckily so far, everyone has been calling and asking questions, and we aren’t just getting random people on the RSVPs.

Post # 5
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Some people are totally clueless. Other people are just rude. I think everyone deals with at least one of these. You’ll have to make an uncomfortable phone call (or your Fiance will, or someone) and just lay it out for them that sorry, but no.

Post # 6
Hostess
16213 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Boo. I know this is frustrating. So far, though, none of us has found a way to prevent it. 🙁

Post # 8
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Well if she’s ENGAGED to this guy, even though you’ve never met him, the etiquette is actually that he should be invited. Obviously everyone makes their own guest lists and rules, but it’s possible that one was a f**k you for not inviting her with her fiance. I can see that.

Post # 9
Member
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

On one hand, no people will not get understand this until they are planning a wedding.  However, it sounds like an etiquette faux pas on your part seeing as how she is engaged, you must invite her fiance.  you don’t separate social units such as married couples and engaged couples. 

Post # 10
Member
71 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I gotta second Kittyachi on this one. I have people asking me if they can bring their relatives who are visiting from overseas, like my wedding is some kind of a rock concert that you just can’t miss… that’s a bit much. But I wouldn’t want to go to a wedding without my fiance and at this point, we’re a package deal..

Post # 11
Member
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’m having similar problems.  A friend just started dating a man, apparently he’s insane, and she thought he could attend… wrong.  Or get this one- my FI’s cousin recently got out of jail, he’s been there forever, and his Mother decided to put him on her rsvp.  Uh, I feel some kinda way about that. 

Post # 12
Member
3979 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I agree… it’s not okay to not invite your guests Fiance or husband. If you want one, you need to invite both. I’d let that one slide. I’d call her up & apologize for the oversight actually…

As for the others who are just inviting their brand new gf/bf, sister, brother, aunt or uncle… they get a hell no! Call them up & just let them know there isn’t any room for more guests & that you’re sorry but the invitation is only extended to Mr & Mrs. Smith! 🙂

Post # 13
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

LOL @ jailbird cousin. That one is priceless. And his MOM is his date. Ahahaha.

Post # 14
Member
536 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Since my wedding isn’t until next year I obviously haven’t had this problem yet…but if and when I do I will just tell people that the only people invited are those who are listed on the invite!  It’s so rude that people invite others to someone else’s wedding! 

Post # 15
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

Yeah you do have to let your friend’s fiance come.  How would you feel if you were invited to a wedding right now and your fiance wasn’t invited?  Probably not very good… 

Post # 16
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I am sorry to say I have been one of these people and it was strickly out of not knowning the ediquette.  It was the first wedding I had ever gone to and it was going to be out of town to I invited my Boyfriend or Best Friend who is now my Fiance.  Had I known now about all that goes into a wedding I probably wouldn’t have done it.  So probably more often then not they just don’t know so don’t hold too much of a grudge :). Most of my guests didn’t know what save the dates were, a bunch of them called me asking where the rest of information was so I am not expecting much luck on the invitation front either.

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