Post # 1
So my boyfriend and i got engaged two weeks ago and we’re settling down now and starting to talk about the actual wedding.
And seriously where do you start!
He moved a long way to live with me (750 miles) and its like where do we get married? Do we get married here where my parents are or do we get married back home where the rest of my family are and all of his are so people don’t have to travel!
And its like what to do first, pick who we want to come so we can then decide where to get married or pick somewhere first and then worry about it!
Thank you for reading my little ramble, i think i’m getting stressed on the little details already and i just want to stay nice and calm and remember its about us, but wow where do you start! Lol
Post # 3
Start discussing general things first!
- What kind of wedding do you/BF want?
- What is your budget? **** This is the biggest thing and must be discussed first because everything is based on your budget
- What are the 3 most important things to you? What are the three most important things to FI? (This will give you a good indication where you are going to spend the most money – every where else you can be frugal)
- Decide on a guestlist – this goes hand and hand with budget – because the more people you have the more money you will spend.
After you have talked about this stuff you can start talking venue and location.
Good Luck and have fun! Don’t stress – you have TONS of time and this is supposed to be fun!
Congrats on your recent engagement!
Post # 4
I say get married where the majority of the people your inviting is from. It sounds to me like there are more people/ family “back home”. But It may be harder to plan a wedding that far away. If you decide to have it in the town your living now alot of people may not be able to make it. So, just have it where its more convenient for you and where YOU want! Oh, and DONT stress now.. i promise you’ll have a lot more other things to stress about later! haha
Post # 5
Future Mrs Martin, thank you for the helpful list, and your right this is upposed to be fun! I think i’m trying just to sort it all out quickly and easily which is never going to work! 🙂
Jessical, i think your right it seems more practical to do it where all these people are and your right there is a lot more to come!
Thank you both once again 🙂
Post # 6
I strongly agree with what @FMM: wrote.
After becoming engaged I felt the exact same way you do. Then I took a deep breath googled some wedding planning timeline guides (I was still a WB lurker, lol) and regained my peace of mind. Below is how it played out…
- Budget – – the most important of every decision thats ahead.
- What FH and I both wanted for our special day: quest size, indoor, outdoor, time of year, etc…
- Where — my family is in So Cal, FH’s is in Nor Cal and we are in WA. We decided to have our wedding in WA b/c it where we have built our home and we have ties to WA. Even if we move we’ll know exactly why we married here, because its the birth of our relationship, our first home.
- And then all the other things begin to fall into place…Venue, Photog, Florist, etc….
Don’t stress, HAVE FUN – – ask us questions. This is a wonderful environment filled with loads of answers Congrats and Welcome to the Hive!!!
Post # 7
I definitely felt pretty overwhelmed by this. Basically, we’re in NorCal, our families are in the NY area, and our friends are all over the place.
The first thing we did was make a guest list. That drove the size of venues we were looking for – my FI kept thinking we’d end up with a huge wedding (200+ or something), but our guest list only ended up being about 100-125 people, many of whom won’t make the cut or be able to come.
The other thing we did very early was decide what kind of wedding we wanted – we wanted something that felt destination-like, but was in the US. Where people could spend a few days together and we would get to be with our guests. It was very important to find a venue that didn’t cut us off after five hours or so.
We picked our location because we found venues here were much more the type of feel we wanted, and because we realized neither of us are that into dealing with wedding details and we couldn’t deal with planning from afar. (we might also be control freaks.)
The day we found the venue, everything went from “oh my god we will never get this done” to “yay, exciting, only a few more details to worry about and so much time to do it.”
Post # 8
Jackie-o, and Entangled thank you both so much for your lovely hints and advice 🙂 I’m really lucky to have stumpled across this site and have you lovely people helping me 🙂 Thank you so much for everything 🙂
There is a hotel that means something to us that you can hire out for weddings, and would be lovely to have everyone stay there but due to the location and cost i think that one will be a no no.
Thank you all once again 🙂
Post # 9
It sounds like you’ve already done quite a lot!!! That’s great!!! (and Congratulations!!)
Everything you did is how we started out… figuring out the size of the guests list…. very important as it creates some definition for venue location.
Also – planning IS very important (ie: do you want to do it locally to you, thus more flexibility with vendors, vs. doing it long distance)
If you haven’t picked a date yet – that’s the next thing to do. Figure out either some dates or months that you like and see what needs to be done to secure it.
I’d then figure out a list of priorities between the two of you as it relates to various wedding aspects and budget involved. Next steps would be to figure out: photog, music (dj/band, etc)… and, I’d also suggest booking a makeup artist WAY in advance. I left that til about 4 months out and it seemed EVERYONE was booked – very frustrating – esp because i had a long engagement and could have figured this out months ago, had I realized how quickly people would book up!!
Post # 10
My advice, nail down your budget and your style. They will dictate everything else – guest list, venue, photographer, dress. Your budget, once broken down, also becomes your checklist of things to do. Start big and work small. Having the guest list set early is really important.
Real Simple and The Knot both have great budgeting tools that help you break down approximations of what things “should” cost, percentage wise. It’s very helpful!!
Post # 11
it’s really easy to get overwhelmed, but you have a lot of time! The best part about a long engagement, in my experience, is that you can do one thing at a time without a lot of pressure or stress. Enjoy yourself! This should be a fun, happy, positive experience!
Post # 12
The first thing we did were to come up with an approximate guest list. We were thinking we wanted a wedding of about 100 people, but we wanted to make sure that actually made sense once we started going over who we wanted to invite.
The other thing that we did right away was to figure out where we wanted the wedding — not a specific venue or anything, just what state and what town we wanted to get married in, since we had a few options.
After that came the budget, which helped us figure out what we could reasonably spend on the various parts of the wedding.
…and next it was all about the fun stuff — reading wedding blogs, weddingbee, and theknot to find inspiration, venues, vendors, etc.