(Closed) Seriously, wtf is wrong w/ people?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
2237 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

i personally would never do that.  but dont get yourself worked up over it, what else would you have done with the food anyway?

Post # 4
1129 posts
Bumble bee

The question I wonder about is whether or not the host/hostess saw this as rude – or did she mean for people to take things as leftovers?

Post # 5
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Some people honestly don’t know any better and others do know better but simply don’t care. The world is full of folks like that but they don’t make up the majority of the population. At this point, there isn’t anything you can do since it’s over and done with. Lesson learned for next time: don’t invite these people who have no respect for anyone other than themselves.

Post # 6
5388 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

That is pretty common in my family. We often laugh at those people and say, “There goes such and such always trying to get a togo plate”.  lol Some people have no manners. I do think it was odd for the lady to put her hands in the candy jars. That was nasty!

Post # 7
2867 posts
Sugar bee

I do admit we had a bit left, so of course I don’t mind. But when a Bridesmaid or Best Man & others start piling food on plates (without asking!), and people take BAGS of stuff home, I start to have a problem.

While I agree people should considerate of other’s and not take stuff that isn’t for themselves (for exmaple that Bridesmaid or Best Man taking food for her husband), your two statements contradicted one another?  You had stuff left, but you’re upset people took stuff?  I mean, unless you were planning on saving some of it for something else or giving it to people who weren’t able to show, I don’t understand why you’re upset.  Again, I do think that piling on food and taking more than their share is definitely rude. And I echo the previous poster to not invite those who took more than their share in the future.

Post # 8
46415 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

What some people see as rude others see as perfectly acceptable.

 It depends on their experience and background.

In a similar vein, some people use language I would never think of as acceptable, particularly in public.

 I can’t control their actions any more than you can control the actions of the guests at your shower.

Post # 9
7053 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Wow.  that is a bit strange, seeing women all grabby and getting every last bit of freebie candy like that.

But…it is a recession, and I’d just chalk it up to maybe them not buying stuff like that for themselves at home?

In wierd economic times, I wouldn’t be surprised at anything people would not do anymore.

I have heard from a few fellow brides that it is now somewhat common to not expect a present from somebody you send an invite to who cannot come.  I had two like that.

At our reception, we had several people take several bags of our chocolate, but that was fine w/me.  It was meant to be eaten, and I still had a few bags left over for us to enjoy after all was said and done.

Heck, I have written about when I married my ex, how some of my relatives had carried off the 100$ plus (about 15 years ago cost then) centerpieces like they had a right to do that.  Now to me, that was shocking.

I know if it were me, I’m not going to loot a free candy bar.  Just not the best of taste to do that at any party or reception.   

Post # 10
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Should have been more choosy as to who you ask for BM’s…hehehehe….jk

Post # 12
759 posts
Busy bee

I think if they had asked first, it would’ve been okay.  Especially since you were going to have food left over.  But just barging in and filling up a plate without asking first, I would agree that is rude.  Some folks just don’t have any sense of common courtesy anymore.  🙂

Post # 13
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

The candy bar situation sounds like a pretty commonly occuring candy bar experience – I feel like I see that on the boards constantly.

As for making plates, unless your mom hosted, I don’t see a big difference in her making a plate for someone not there and another guest making a plate for someone not there. If your mom hosted, it would have been more polite for her to wait until guests were gone to make plates/put food away, IMO.

Post # 15
3762 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I think this could kinda go either way.  You have lots of food leftover and you start packing it up for guests.  This “somewhat” gives guests the appearance that you are welcoming them to take food home.  I agree they shouldn’t be greedy, but it sounds like there was a lot left.  


Post # 16
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

I think it just depends on where I am for if I’m going to take plates of leftovers home. If I don’t know the person, I would only do so if they asked me if I wanted some. But if I’m close to the people and their good friends of my family, they have a history of asking me to take home leftovers so now it’s just known that it’s ok and expected.

Either way, I wouldn’t worry too much about it. It’s done with, and you had a nice shower.

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