(Closed) Seriously! WTF?!

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2779 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Ok. Breathe. Now, is she just planning on giving them as a gift or is she expecting your FH to smoke them? If it’s the latter I’d calmly write an email to her explaining that you have a severe allergy and your FH will not be smoking. I’m assuming your FH knows about your allergy so I’d just briefly mention it to him so he knows what’s going on in case he gets approached by your mom about it.

Post # 4
Member
1079 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I am sure your Fiance cares way too much about you to smoke anywhere near you. I expect he will either smoke them at a bachelor party (and change his clothes and take a shower and brush his teeth immediately afterward) or save them for later – like camping with his buddies.

Post # 5
Member
222 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I was in a similar position:  My Fiance is allergic to nuts (pretty severe) & we are having a dessert table.  My mom listed all these desserts that have nuts in them.  I said no we are having a “NUT FREE” dessert table.  Her response: “Well isn’t Fiance old enough to know what he can & cannot eat?”   WTH?? Yes I mean he is a 28 year old man who has lived with this allergy all his life but we are having the same baker make all the desserts so why would I take the chance of the “nutfree” desserts coming in contact with the desserts with nuts? 

My mom just has no idea about allergies – she is the same lady that told my Fiance to just “pick out” the almonds in a salad once when he said he couldn’t eat it. 

If I was you I would just ignore your mom.  Just tell her no we aren’t having cigars.  Because really who is going to miss out on cigars?  Just like who is going to miss out on desserts without nuts?

Post # 7
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

ok, YOUR mother who I’m presuming knows about your allergy suggested that?!!?!??  Honey, I would’ve flipped out as well and in no uncertain words, either!!!  If she knows how it affects you, she had NO RIGHT to even suggest that!  In My Humble Opinion, you’re mother’s concern should be for your health, not keeping to traditions (if it really IS that) that would make you be sick on your wedding day. 

Definitely give your Fiance a heads up on what your mother is wanting, voice your outrage and concerns, and go from there.  Since she’s wanting it for him, you could even ask HIM to talk to your mother about vetoing that idea.

I can also sympathize.  Smoke also makes me ill (not as bad as you,  but pretty close) and my Fiance smokes, but is VERY considerate about it.  Since we’re having an outdoor wedding, it’ll make things sooo much easier on me and those who don’t like it or want to be around it.

Perhaps you could designate a specific area for smoking outside?  That way you can appease your mother (sorta) and still not have to be around the smoke itself. 

Post # 9
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@roxy821: I just noticed!  lol.  I hate lag on my computers 🙂 

Post # 10
Member
1440 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I can relate. I have a severe shellfish allergy. Future In-Laws don’t understand why they can’t have shrimp hor d’ouevres (sp?). I reminded them (again!) that I am not taking the risk of cross contimination on my wedding day. So there will be absolutely nothing I am allergic to at my reception. I don’t want to end up in the hospital in my white dress.

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