(Closed) Set a date.. still no proposal.

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
9862 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I’d be done. I wouldn’t wait any longer – and this is coming from someone who waited 7 years for a proposal. He’s broken your trust over and over and over again. Why are you expecting anything else when he’s shown you who he really is.

If you aren’t ready to leave (which is a decision only you can make, no matter what anyone here says they would do) then you should stop planning the wedding immediatly. Cancel the venue and anything else you’ve booked. Don’t talk wedding or honeymoon with him at all. 

Post # 3
Member
78 posts
Worker bee

I’m not sure you’re going to be able to plan your wedding in three months. This is usually the time frame where people have already sent out invitations. Do you have any other vendors beside your venue?

Post # 4
Member
9862 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

peoniesandpitbulls :  Techincally, invites are supposed to go out 6-8 weeks before the wedding. Sending your invites out at 3 months would be quite early. I’ve had several friends plan a wedding in 3 months or less. It’s entirely possible. Though, yes finding vendors might be difficult.

Post # 5
Member
3262 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

You might need to cancel with the venue. I would sit down with Boyfriend or Best Friend and figure this out.

Post # 6
Member
78 posts
Worker bee

hikingbride :  I think booking preferred vendors would be really difficult at this point. We began planning our wedding a little over a year in advance and already a few choice venues and photographers were booked. Although of course it depends on the type of wedding OP is looking to have.

Post # 7
Member
2328 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Wtf… what did you tell your parents? Have you paid deposits? This makes no sense 

Post # 9
Hostess
1722 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I mean, if you’re planning a wedding and have a venue booked and etc – you are engaged. Even without a ring or proposal. It isn’t very romantic, though. 

But it is weird.

It’s also weird to me that you are old enough to be starting med school but he still can’t disobey his parents to live or stay with you if he wants to. 

Are you sure these aren’t excuses? Are you both sure you really want to get married? It sounds like feet dragging to me. I’d be pumping the brakes, hard, on any wedding plans. 

Post # 10
Member
842 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2020

Three months could be doable if it’s going to be a small wedding and OP isn’t picky about details. And I understand wanting to get married before starting med school; two of my lab mates got married the summer before starting grad school. 

But OP, I don’t think your boyfriend wants to formally propose and isn’t planning to. He’s probably thinking he doesn’t need to since you’ve started planning the wedding. If the proposal is a dealbreaker for you, then you need to tell him, because he isn’t going to do it. I don’t know why some men think that’s acceptable, but they do. My dad never actually asked my mom to marry him; he just hid a ring in a crackerjack box and handed it to her without a word.

Honestly your boyfriend sounds pretty immature, with the broken promises and the reluctance to move out of his parents’ house just because he doesn’t want to deal with a lease. Eventually he’s going to have to suck it up and deal with “adult” things like that, but until he does I can see him being a pain for you down the line every time he is afraid of a jury duty summons or some other responsbility. But maybe you already see this and are ok with it. If so then you need to decide if you need the proposal. 

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