(Closed) Set the Date or Postpone? What Would You Do?

posted 8 years ago in Logistics
  • poll: If you were me would you

    Postpone until my work load lightens= FI :(

    Decide to become superwoman and take on the stress of new job and wedding planning=Me :(

    I think there is never going to be a "perfect" time to get married; something will always come up

    There can be a "perfect" time to plan a wedding; only do it when everything in life falls into place

    No advice to give really. Sucks to be you!

  • Post # 3
    687 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    @PamelaBrit:  Hey!  I sympathize… I’m a HS teacher and my first year was super hectic.  I lost my grandmother that year too.  We got engaged last December and are to be married this December.  I honestly got my planning done about a month and a half ago before school started!  We had the venue booked and I bought my dress well in January.. but the details were decided on right before I went back to work.  I also did a LOT of DIY projects- invites, flowers, etc… over my summer break.  I’m still stressed though… taking on another prep that I’ve never taught :/ and coaching cheer.  Which means after school practices and football games + HS girl drama.  I don’t know if there’s a truly RIGHT time, but honestly I didn’t want to be engaged forever.  Planning with 4 months left was actually kind of a blessing because I haven’t been able to second guess my decisions.  Good luck!  Hope your school year is going well! ๐Ÿ™‚ 

    ETA: I should say that I’m on my 3rd year!  So grateful to have a job and it’s rewarding…but it’s a very taxing job!

    Post # 4
    1837 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    hmm. maybe do a small wedding or try to see if your Fiance is willing to chip in a lot on the planning? i kind of feel like no matter hwen you pick, you’ll never know if something’s going to come up/.

    Post # 5
    509 posts
    Busy bee

    @PamelaBrit:  Seriously, you can do it.  I only got seriously going last Thursday and I’ve got most of mine done already. 

    Granted, I only have 80 guests, and I’m doing this for the second time although I really didn’t do much the first time, and I have organized special events as part of my job function.

    If you need any help, feel free to message me.  I’m happy to help in any way I can ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 6
    2522 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    I second the intimate wedding idea, or I would look into hiring a wedding planner. Let someone else deal with the majority of the stress of your wedding so you can work and still enjoy picking your dress, etc. If you keep pushing it back, I think you will be unhappy. It’s ultimately up to you, though!

    Post # 7
    9050 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I planned in nine months flat with a 146 person guest list and a fair bit of diy. Honestly, planning a wedding wasn’t that much of a time suck. I’d say we spent two weekends looking for a venue, 4 nights worth of tv watching making invites, 3 days dress shopping, and maybe another 40 hours over the course of our engagement doin random odds and ends. I took the last week off work thinking I’d have tons of stuff to do, and ended up just having out with my bridesmaids and family around the pool most of the time. 

    Id plan for maybe a month into summer holidays if you’re a teacher and that should be more than enough time!

    Post # 8
    3637 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    Don’t put off the planning, set a date now but give yourself a “longer” period of time. Say, set the date a year and a half away rather than just one year. That way hopefully the planning will space out some more and not have you as stressed.

    I’m sure you’ll find your grove with work and be able to plan as well. Remember, you are planning your wedding! It can be fun too! 

    There is no perfect time to plan, so do it now. You don’t want to put of planning for ages and then be in a rush to have kids later on.

    Post # 9
    33 posts
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I have been unemployed and planning my wedding (was not when I started) I did not hire a wedding planner but apperently most of the time they can save you more money than they cost because they get discounts from vendors that they are able to book regularly.  This may take some of the stress off of you.  Good luck in the new job!

    Post # 10
    1252 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I didn’t vote because I think you should proceed with the wedding but hire a planner, it may feel like a lot of money, but it will get you the wedding you want at the time you want it, while allowing you to focus on your work!

    Post # 11
    3218 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    I agree with PPs- I planned our 150-person wedding in 6 months while writing a graduate thesis and taking classes.  I vote you start planning now, be decisive, and just get it done.

    Post # 12
    4500 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I would just set a date and plan it — like you say, you don’t want to end up with the 5-year engagement!

    You will always be busy, and wedding planning will always, no matter when you do it, add just a leeetle bit of extra stress to you life.

    My DH is a teacher, I’m a researcher, and we planned our 130-person wedding in less than 5 months (and for 1 of those months, I was in Rwanda). 

    My greatest piece of advice if you’re planning a wedding and you don’t have a ton of extra time to devote to it — once you make a decision about something, stop thinking about it! Move on to the next thing on your list. I’ve seen so many of my friends get hung up second-guessing themselves, and this really adds to their stress. 

    Good luck — and just go for it!

    Post # 14
    3470 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

    Planning a wedding isonly as stressful as you let it be.  Seriously, there really doesn’t need to be this huge black cloud over the process.  And there will NEVER be a “perfect time”. 

    If you keep waiting for your life to begin, you’re going to miss all the fun! 

    Post # 15
    1212 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Ours was planned in 9 months, with a new job, a house reno that we DIY’d ourselves and did most of the wedding details DIY as well with lots of travel for my job and another family wedding in there too. It’s only as complicated as you make it, and don’t get too caught up in drama or detail.


    Enjoy the next year ๐Ÿ™‚

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