(Closed) Setting a date before being "officially" engaged?

posted 7 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

If it’s more than 2 years off, go for it. If not, save yourself the headaches, disappointments and aggravation when life happens, you don’t get proposed to exactly when you want/expect, or things go wrong. See it all the time on this forum; don’t make the mistake of getting ahead of yourself. 

Post # 4
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think it is normal for him not to really want to discuss wedding planning.

I would encourage you not to set a date before getting engaged, other than in your head you can have a directional idea like “Fall of 2014 would be perfect” or something like that. I wouldn’t blab it to anyone else.

Post # 5
4029 posts
Honey bee

@JazzyGemini:  If you two have “officially” agreed to get married, then you are technically engaged (if you both agree that you are). You can still wait for a ring and proposal, but that’s up to you.

I personally would not officially set a date, book a venue or make formal plans until it’s decided that the engagement is official. Too many things can happen that may move up or back the date. I would say saving money, gathering ideas and hanging out on here is perfectly fine though.

Also, why do you get the feeling that he is leading you on? Not getting excited about the wedding is one thing, but if you get a sense he is not serious about getting engaged or married anytime soon, then I would definitely not set an official date yet.

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