Post # 1
I posted earlier about my boyfriend telling me last night that the ring was coming when he gets his tax refund. Sooo now here’s my question. Where we live football is a huge deal, especially to my SO and me. I absolutely refuse to have one of those weddings where there’s a football game playing at the reception and everyone huddled around a tv the whole time. Especially considering how um.. emotional my boyfriend and his buddies are during games. We’ve discussed before that we don’t see any point in a long engagement and that we want a fall wedding. Well there’s only two saturdays in the fall of 2013 that won’t have football games, one of which is already taken by someone else’s wedding. So that leaves one Saturday in Novembver as even a possibility for our fall wedding. Since we do live in such a football crazed area, I know I’m not the only one with this thought process so I feel like I’d need to get things in motion as soon as possible, but at the same time I don’t want my boyfriend to think I’m nuts for trying to plan the wedding before he even gives me the ring. We talk about when we’re married all the time, it’s not like it’s not a sure thing, it’s just not publicly official. Thoughts?
Post # 3
My good friend had her wedding date planned before their official engagement. I mean, we all knew that the engagement was coming…the ring was being paid off/made, but she wanted a specific weekend because she had many people coming from other countries and needed a long weekend for her wedding.
Post # 4
FH and I sort of had a date before the official proposal. We had it narrowed down to May – August 2014, after I graduate college but before I start teaching.
Post # 5
My friends that just got engaged in October, had the date picked out before he actually proposed. the wedding is now set on June 8th, 2013. which is the day they started dating 5 years ago.
So I say go for it, whats the harm in planning ahead?
Post # 6
My mom booked the church and put a deposit on the venue before my dad proposed! They have been happily married for 27 years but man, that was BOLD!
I think there is a big difference between realizing that there is only one logical date and going out and putting a deposit down on a venue without the groom’s input. It sounds like you’re both on the same page anyways so I don’t see the harm. Just don’t go too far with the planning.
Post # 7
My fiance and I had the date picked way before the actual proposal. Not for any particularly good reason though. I’d say if he’s ok with it, go for it. I’d be a little resistanct to putting money down prior to it being official, but that’s just me.
Post # 8
Well honey, he’s gonna know you’re nuts anyways if you’re going to spend the rest of your life together.
I say nab that date before anyone else does!
Post # 9
Sounds sensible to me, thats just good planning
Post # 10
@BHB0526: I don’t think it is a horrible idea and totally agree about football (which is a big reason for our July wedding– my cousin’s priest was announcing the score throughout the ceremony!). I would talk to him about how he was feeling and then talk to your parents. I know it was really important for my parents to know that we were engaged before planning. They would not have been willing to contribute to a wedding before an engagement.
Also, my FI’s best friend got engaged in late April and got married at an amazing venue in November. Not everything books up super quickly!
Post # 11
I live with my boyfriend and my parents are aware of this, I think that knowing a wedding was in the works and the ring was just on hold till the money was here would actually make them feel better. If it wasn’t for the fact that there’s literally only ONE available Saturday next fall I wouldn’t even be thinking about it right now.
Post # 12
My boyfriend has not yet proposed. I am anticipating that will happen in the spring. However, with two days ago being 12/12/12, he sent me a text that morning saying “happy 12/12/12!” and told me about a local celebrity who was getting married at an art gallery. A few texts later, his exact words were “speaking of which, we should do it July 27, 2014”. It took a few more texts back and forth to realize he wasn’t joking and that he actually calculated that THAT particular day would mark our 1000th day as a couple! I thought that was incredibly sweet and thoughtful, especially since we’re both really into numbers and tend to count our days together rather than months. I am just so damn excited right now!
However, the first thing I did was Google the date and find out if any major events were happening in my city that day. Since both my boyfriend and I are journalists, this is something we need to make sure of, or we could both be required to be working on an assignment that day! So far it seems okay, but it’s so far away that it could still change.
Right now, our wedding date is a secret from everyone until we actually become formally engaged, and then we will break the news. That is why I joined Weddingbees. I am so excited but can’t share that with anyone else right now, so this my outlet!
Post # 13
The only thing is I would have to tell my parents and make sure it’s okay with them because they will be paying for most of it. The date is November 2 and reality is that’s only 10.5 months away, so it’s really not THAT much time…
Post # 14
I think that is very sensible. I’m in Texas, so you know I understand the football concern lol…and Dallas is BIG on weddings in general, so I’ve been scoping out venues for months…and the proposal is coming sometime before Christmas. I feel actively planning before the engagement is fine as long as you and SO are on the same page…and you two appear to be.
Post # 15
@BHB0526: I think you have a good reason, and you are both on the same page – do it 🙂
Post # 16
I see no good reason NOT to do it!! I would do it if I were you- good for you for planning ahead!!