(Closed) Setting a date before the proposal?

posted 9 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
78 posts
Worker bee

My good friend had her wedding date planned before their official engagement. I mean, we all knew that the engagement was coming…the ring was being paid off/made, but she wanted a specific weekend because she had many people coming from other countries and needed a long weekend for her wedding.

Post # 4
4945 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

FH and I sort of had a date before the official proposal. We had it narrowed down to May – August 2014, after I graduate college but before I start teaching. 

Post # 5
190 posts
Blushing bee

My friends that just got engaged in October, had the date picked out before he actually proposed. the wedding is now set on June 8th, 2013. which is the day they started dating 5 years ago.

So I say go for it, whats the harm in planning ahead? 

Post # 6
1149 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

My mom booked the church and put a deposit on the venue before my dad proposed! They have been happily married for 27 years but man, that was BOLD!

I think there is a big difference between realizing that there is only one logical date and going out and putting a deposit down on a venue without the groom’s input. It sounds like you’re both on the same page anyways so I don’t see the harm. Just don’t go too far with the planning.

Post # 7
33 posts
  • Wedding: June 2013

My fiance and I had the date picked way before the actual proposal.  Not for any particularly good reason though.  I’d say if he’s ok with it, go for it.  I’d be a little resistanct to putting money down prior to it being official, but that’s just me.

Post # 8
732 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Well honey, he’s gonna know you’re nuts anyways if you’re going to spend the rest of your life together. 

I say nab that date before anyone else does!

Post # 9
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Sounds sensible to me, thats just good planning


Post # 10
3716 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: City, State

@BHB0526:  I don’t think it is a horrible idea and totally agree about football (which is a big reason for our July wedding– my cousin’s priest was announcing the score throughout the ceremony!). I would talk to him about how he was feeling and then talk to your parents. I know it was really important for my parents to know that we were engaged before planning. They would not have been willing to contribute to a wedding before an engagement.

Also, my FI’s best friend got engaged in late April and got married at an amazing venue in November. Not everything books up super quickly!

Post # 12
122 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

My boyfriend has not yet proposed. I am anticipating that will happen in the spring. However, with two days ago being 12/12/12, he sent me a text that morning saying “happy 12/12/12!” and told me about a local celebrity who was getting married at an art gallery. A few texts later, his exact words were “speaking of which, we should do it July 27, 2014”. It took a few more texts back and forth to realize he wasn’t joking and that he actually calculated that THAT particular day would mark our 1000th day as a couple! I thought that was incredibly sweet and thoughtful, especially since we’re both really into numbers and tend to count our days together rather than months. I am just so damn excited right now!

However, the first thing I did was Google the date and find out if any major events were happening in my city that day. Since both my boyfriend and I are journalists, this is something we need to make sure of, or we could both be required to be working on an assignment that day! So far it seems okay, but it’s so far away that it could still change.

Right now, our wedding date is a secret from everyone until we actually become formally engaged, and then we will break the news. That is why I joined Weddingbees. I am so excited but can’t share that with anyone else right now, so this my outlet!

Post # 14
278 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I think that is very sensible. I’m in Texas, so you know I understand the football concern lol…and Dallas is BIG on weddings in general, so I’ve been scoping out venues for months…and the proposal is coming sometime before Christmas. I feel actively planning before the engagement is fine as long as you and SO are on the same page…and you two appear to be.

Post # 15
1131 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@BHB0526:  I think you have a good reason, and you are both on the same page – do it 🙂

Post # 16
1979 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I see no good reason NOT to do it!!  I would do it if I were you- good for you for planning ahead!!

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