(Closed) Setting a date to appease me or them?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1070 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

These people seem impossible to please. I say invite them in Dec. and if they say no, then all systems are GO for eloping.

Post # 4
287 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Its not about what they want, its about what you want! Do what ever suits you! 

Post # 5
2268 posts
Buzzing bee

@Katieshack:  “My fiancés family has been very vocal that they would be extremely angry if we beat her to the altar.”


Would getting married between April and October this year suit you and your FI? Because that would probably be what I would do. 

Post # 6
7673 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Katieshack: I must say, I think 2 weeks is a bit close for two siblings’ weddings, when plane travel is involved. Only because it’s hard on the guests to travel by plane twice in 2 weeks.

I think you should instead marry well before FI’s sister. Preferably at least 2 months before. That gives people time to travel to both.

There’s nothing wrong with Fiance marrying before his sister. If FI’s sister doesn’t want people beating her to the altar, she should have a shorter engagement.

Post # 7
771 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Katieshack:  Why is your Fiance not handling this?  If he’s on board with the Dec dates, then HE has to communicate that to them.  (And this is assuming that you are paying on your own, with no help from his parents)

This is really going to boil down to your FIs feelings about the matter.  You all get married in December when it’s feasible for you, potentially without his parents OR you wait and get married with his parents in attendance.  Since it’s his family, he should make the call.

ETA – I agree with PPs about doing it between now and your SILs wedding, but again, your Future In-Laws might be upset with that so the statement above still applies – let your Fiance choose.

Post # 8
469 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@Katieshack:  I would make ur Fiance handle this whole situation with his family.

That being said, I would choose a date that YOU want, because this is all about you in the end.

My SIL’s Mother-In-Law had said the same thing when she hear my Fiance and I were engaged, that we better be having the wedding AFTER theirs. Honestly to spite her I wanted to move it up, but I didn’t want a summer wedding and their wedding was in aug. But his sister nor i have ever felt like one of us is trying to beat the other one.

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