Setting a price limit on engagement ring?

posted 2 years ago in Waiting
Post # 16
Member
517 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

We did not discuss the budget, he actually did the entire thing in secrecy so I had no idea he was looking at rings with his sister. I did send him ring ideas and said I would be okay with moissanite, but he hated that idea and just settled for a smaller stone that was real and affordable. I don’t know the exact cost but I do know that it was NOT 3 months salary and I would have been pretty upset with him had be spent a ton of money on a ring. He was approved for financing through the jeweler, so he used that amount he was qualified for and paid it off in 1 year. 

Post # 17
Member
2886 posts
Sugar bee

I’m struggling with this.  We are both older and have our finances in order, and this will be the second marriage for both of us and we don’t want really any kind of wedding/celebration.  

We were talking and he told me to “pick out what will make me happy.”  And I threw out a figure of the price I knew what would make me happy and he said that was fine.  

I think I’ll need for him to go with me so we can decide this together.  And also, I would not mind chipping in towards the ring (which I know he will absolutely NOT let me do).  

Post # 18
Member
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2019

greeneyes84 :  I picked mine out together with my now fiancé 🙂 We spent about $2500CAD on my ring (moissanite), and it will be another $1k for my pavé band. I think you should only ever spend what you have in cash, going into debt before you’ve even engaged is not a great start!

Post # 19
Member
2886 posts
Sugar bee

 

jade31 :  I agree that no one should go into major debt over a ring or a wedding.  It’s just not worth it.  

Post # 20
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2019

mrsptobe2017 :  your ring is lovely! I’m interested in something similar. Do you mind telling me where you got it?

Post # 21
Member
1110 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

citysgirl :  Thank you! I got the moissanite from Joseph Schubach. It’s a 1.5 carat equivalent forever brilliant OEC. No one else had OECs at the time, but I’m not sure I would choose an FB again, as it’s perfect in most lights but on cloudy days it can look a bit dingy/yellow. And now it sounds like there are more options for OEC moissanites. Anyway, I sent the stone it to David Klass to make the setting, along with pictures of the two rings I was obsessed with and wanted to combine into one. His prices were very reasonable and he made tweaks to the CAD for me, for example changing the design on the gallery of the bezel because to me it looked like bunny ears on the first try 🙂 It took about 2.5 weeks for him to make it once I approved the design. My fiance was thrilled that I got exactly what I wanted and gives me credit when people praise him for my ring. 

So, this Plus this

became:

I really love Erstwhile and also Trumpet & Horn rings; they have such amazing Edwardian and Art Deco era pieces with the most beautiful and intricate details. If you’re looking for inspiration I would head to their sites!

Post # 22
Member
12291 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

Thar rule of thumb was propagated by an ad campaign during an economic depression. First the “guideline” was a month’s salary, then two, then three. 

What people conveniently forget is that the relative cost of a ring was much less decades ago. Today, young couples face educational debt, salaries that can require two incomes for a good standard standard of living, and astronomic home and rental prices. 

A ring should not only not put you in debt, it should not set important financial goals backward to a significant degree. 

https://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2015/02/how-an-ad-campaign-invented-the-diamond-engagement-ring/385376/

Post # 23
Member
9595 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

If it’s a gift then the budget is up to the giver IMO. I would only discuss a budget if I was paying for it.

Post # 24
Member
447 posts
Helper bee

When did it get inflated to 3 months salary? Back in my day I always heard 2 months. 

Post # 25
Member
316 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

Fiance and I didn’t have an exact budget, but we knew that the 3 month’s salary guide was NOT for us. It’s way too much money to spend on a ring, and it would definitely have put the timeline off dramatically. It also became clear that Fiance didn’t know how much diamonds cost, because when I asked him how big he was wanting to go, he casually said “probably 2 carats, right? Or bigger?” Which is just laughable for what our budget was. Ultimately we decided to go with moissanite for a variety of reasons and I couldn’t be happier! I also know exactly how much he spent, because I picked it out myself. 😉 

Post # 26
Member
247 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - Queens, NY

The only thing I’ve told my boyfriend is that I have no interest in a diamond ring. I’d much rather have, preferably, a small purple sapphire and something that doesn’t require more than a very small portion of his savings.

He nearly flipped with happiness when I told him I’m not interested in diamonds because of how expensive  they tend to be. But since he’s the type who would want something like this to be as much of a surprise as possible, I’m leaving the rest up to him.

I did make a short list on Amazon to show what kinds of styles of bands and settings I love, which he discovered last month on his own free will – I only know because he told me he saw it, lol. But otherwise, I honestly trust him to know my style and tastes well enough at this point.

Post # 28
Member
12291 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

wonderwedding :  It was originally one month around the time the ad campaign started in the late 30s, increasing to two months by the 80s and more recently two or three months, depending on the source. 

Post # 29
Member
5884 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

greeneyes84 :  Darling Husband and I both had a lot of complicated feeling about e-rings (basically, we both thought they were a waste of money but felt social pressure to have one) and neither of us wanted to spend a lot.  We dicsused what we’d be comfortable spending, since after the wedding we’d consider all money joint anyway.  For us, it was no more than $1500…which was no where near approaching 3 months salary.  Heck, that wasn’t even close to 1 month’s salary.  The 3 months salary number is totally insane.  That’s a quarter of your income for a whole year.

Post # 30
Member
9785 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

We discussed a budget. But ultimately it was his money (we had no combined finances) so I felt it was his decision and I totally trusted him to make a responsible financial decision.

He did go a little over the general budget we discussed but I absolutely adore my ring so it was totally worth the extra money!

Leave a comment


Find Amazing Vendors